Tag: surveys

World’s Hottest California Attorney Generals Face Off In Wonkette Sexxxiness Contest

Who would you most like to take a long walk on the beach with?

Donald Trump Thinks His Supporters Are Cowards Who Are Too Scared To Tell Pollsters They Love Him. SAD!

The delicate flowers cannot handle the hypothetical judgment of a disembodied voice conducting a phone survey, he says.
Yes America is that dumb

There May Be Enough White Voters To Elect Donald Trump. But Are There Enough Complete Idiots?

It might just be statistically possible for Donald Trump to win the presidency, although such an outcome would obviously give a completely new meaning to the term 'margin of error.'

Science Expert Steve Stockman Laughs At Democrats’ Junk Science And Lightbulb Tyranny

Well here is a fine how do you do: Rep. Steve Stockman, fresh off losing his big Senate primary to John Cornyn, became a Hero of Science Monday by pointing out that both astrology and climate change are nonsense....

Let’s Make Fun Of Rep. Daniel Webster, For Being Bad At Congress

Last week we wrote about the latest program that House Republicans drew from their box of Valuable Programs That Benefit Any Number Of People And Aren't That Expensive But Should Be Destroyed Solely Because A Democrat Likes Them, the...

70% of America ‘Dreading’ 2012 Presidential Campaign

Ha ha, here is a fun new study that proves everybody would basically like to trade the 2012 presidential election for, say, a massive asteroid strike: Gallup asked voters how jazzed they were for the Obama-Not Romney campaign year,...

62% of Americans Morally Unfit For Amoral U.S. Politics

America's elected officials range from rat-eyed sheriff bullies who mercilessly persecute the various racial minorities to the president, who constantly murders people all over the world and shovels billions of dollars to Wall Street. And yet, a new survey...

Most Americans Hate Government, Democracy Itself

Important cable teevee station CNN has commissioned two (2) polls of the Americans, and the results are bad for the Tea Baggers' beloved "U.S. Constitution" and "Democracy," so it's a good thing those people don't actually like either of...

The Best Phone Survey In Massachusetts Right Now

Where do the Teabaggers in Texas who are phone-banking Massachusetts households come up with this shit? "I just got a polling call about Martha Coakley. I also had to answer questions about gay marriage, Israel, and malaria, including this...

RNC Health Care Survey, WOW

Intrepid Washington Independent blog reporter Dave Weigel has earned himself another steak 'n' baked dinner tonight by obtaining this, the RNC's "2009 Future of American Health Survey." YES. THAT IS LITERALLY QUESTION FOUR. Republicans, man! C'mon! Some of us...

Steele’s RNC Survey Collects Helpful Data About How Democrats Are Dumb

RNC Chairman Michael Steele is VERY SERIOUS about bringing the Republican party back to its glory days of him not being allowed in it. He has sent supporters an e-mail with an objective survey of questions, knowing full well...

Republicans Firmly Committed To Losing More Elections

Republicans have made the only conclusion possible about their party following the electoral repudiation of an ancient war hero who ran on the "not a Negro" platform and chose as his running mate a proud religious nutjob ignoramus with...

HOW SCREWED IS MICHELE BACHMANN? DETAILS AT 11: SurveyUSA will release a tasty new poll for Minnesota's District 6 at 11pm Eastern tonight. Prediction: Bachmann is winning by 50 points, at least.

BARACK OBAMA IS THE HOTTEST JEW SINCE ERIC BANA IN 'MUNICH': According to 1 percent of respondents to a Pew research poll, Barack Obama is not a fire-breathing Muslim or a wingnut Christian but in fact a nice Jewish...

Bob Barr On Target To Ruin John McCain’s Life

Bob Barr looks like Reverend Jeremiah Wright and will probably cost John McCain the election, and for these two reasons alone Barack Obama makes love to Bob Barr's voodoo doll in his hyperbaric Hope chamber every night. You see,...

Barack Obama Is American President Of Europe!

Every four years, Europeans get mad at Americans because only stupid ignorant U.S. citizens get to elect their president (who is always George W. Bush). So this year our friends overseas were delighted to participate in a meaningless poll...