July 24, 2014
Recently, Media Research Center, the low-rent conservative version of Media Matters, did a survey in order to get feedback on their greatness, and we were in awe of the survey, becaues there was simply no way to not celebrate the greatness of Media Research Center.
As Mr. Dave Barry, one of the forty or so sane people in Florida, said some time ago, the only thing America really excels in anymore is the production of reports on just how stupid Americans are. And so we have another one! The National Science Foundation’s biennial (a word which here means “given every […]
Poor awkward Mitt Romney is coming under fire from respectable Republicans like George Will and Peggy Nooner for his embarrassing habit of trotting after Donald “The Donald” Trump and constantly licking clean the small fine hairs that ring his pooper. But Mitt says he should not be embarrassed, when asked about his association with Old […]
What better occasion than the nation’s first caucus/primary thing of 2012 to remember that Americans are mouth-breathing idiots. The new Vanity Fair/CBS survey of U.S. dumbness has been released, and it proves that two-thirds of this nation’s adults have no idea that the population of the USA is approximately 300 million people. You didn’t even […]
A shocking new Gallup poll proves that 81% of Americans — an all-time record — are against the American Government, while 82% are against Congress specifically. And 49% of Americans believe the U.S. Government is “an immediate threat to the rights and freedoms of ordinary citizens.” But to read POLITICO, you’d think we’re just in […]
American voters now agree that an Al Gore presidency would’ve hardly been different from the disastrous eight-year reign of George W. Bush and Dick Cheney. See, we really have learned some stuff from Barack Obama! The latest weird Vanity Fair/CBS News poll of random questions proves that 56% of our people say a Gore-Lieberman White […]
According to a scientific survey of some people on the Internet somewhere, liberals eat the fanciest of fancy foods — while conservatives literally eat filthy garbage, mostly from fast-food anusburger chains. See if you can tell which meals were far more likely to be enjoyed by left-leaning humanists: coconut curry lamb and rice, fresh fruit, […]
Free Washington Metro Station paper The Politico exists for one reason: To sell advertising to D.C. lobbying firms and interest groups so that D.C. government professionals will see the ads while flipping through the tabloid on the way to work. “Oh,” the cubicle-bound factotum with the graduate degree in public policy will mumble to him/herself […]
Today’s Dirty Dozen American Primary Election is also the Gulf of Mexico Oil Spill’s 50th Day. Did you get BP a present? It’s a testament to the constant spastic churn of the news cycle that this oil disaster already feels really old, like something from last summer or maybe even 2005. But the spill began […]
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Well, Barack Obama has failed again. The so-called president isn’t quite as popular as Nazi Pope Joseph Ratzinger and Partially-African-American Nike model Tiger Woods combined, according to an idiotic new study which also revealed that 5% of Americans want to meet and have their topless picture taken with teevee’s Hannah Montana.
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