survey
Morning Survey! Who Else, Besides Donald Trump, Is ‘Good People’?
Poor awkward Mitt Romney is coming under fire from respectable Republicans like George Will and Peggy Nooner for his embarrassing habit of trotting after Donald “The Donald” Trump and constantly licking clean the small fine hairs that ring his pooper. But Mitt says he should not be embarrassed, when asked about his association with Old [...]
66% of Americans Cannot Even Guess Approximate Population of USA
What better occasion than the nation’s first caucus/primary thing of 2012 to remember that Americans are mouth-breathing idiots. The new Vanity Fair/CBS survey of U.S. dumbness has been released, and it proves that two-thirds of this nation’s adults have no idea that the population of the USA is approximately 300 million people. You didn’t even [...]
Record 81% of Americans Hate America
A shocking new Gallup poll proves that 81% of Americans — an all-time record — are against the American Government, while 82% are against Congress specifically. And 49% of Americans believe the U.S. Government is “an immediate threat to the rights and freedoms of ordinary citizens.” But to read POLITICO, you’d think we’re just in [...]
Everyone Agrees Gore Presidency Would’ve Been About the Same As Bush
American voters now agree that an Al Gore presidency would’ve hardly been different from the disastrous eight-year reign of George W. Bush and Dick Cheney. See, we really have learned some stuff from Barack Obama! The latest weird Vanity Fair/CBS News poll of random questions proves that 56% of our people say a Gore-Lieberman White [...]
Liberals Eat Fancy Healthy Food, Conservatives Eat Awful Garbage
According to a scientific survey of some people on the Internet somewhere, liberals eat the fanciest of fancy foods — while conservatives literally eat filthy garbage, mostly from fast-food anusburger chains. See if you can tell which meals were far more likely to be enjoyed by left-leaning humanists: coconut curry lamb and rice, fresh fruit, [...]
Shocking New Poll Shows D.C. Elites Not As Bummed Out As Poor Old Teabaggers
Free Washington Metro Station paper The Politico exists for one reason: To sell advertising to D.C. lobbying firms and interest groups so that D.C. government professionals will see the ads while flipping through the tabloid on the way to work. “Oh,” the cubicle-bound factotum with the graduate degree in public policy will mumble to him/herself [...]
Happy 50th Day of the BP Oil Spill, Everybody!
Today’s Dirty Dozen American Primary Election is also the Gulf of Mexico Oil Spill’s 50th Day. Did you get BP a present? It’s a testament to the constant spastic churn of the news cycle that this oil disaster already feels really old, like something from last summer or maybe even 2005. But the spill began [...]
PLEASE TAKE OUR QUICK SURVEY!: Help your Wonkette by taking this easy survey to let us know what you like and don’t like, what doesn’t work, what new stuff you require, etc. THANK YOU. UPDATE: God, who broke it? It is fixed. UPDATE II: That was awesome, 1,000+ response in twenty minutes or whatever, and [...]
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