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Posts Tagged ‘surge’

The SURGE Is Working!

Tuesday, April 17th, 2007

Remember the SURGE that would finally win the war against whoever it is we’re fighting in Iraq for some unknown reason? Well, it’s a big success — if by “success” you mean U.S. troops are now dying at the fastest rate since the invasion four years ago! MORE »


So That’s What Bush Is Doing In South America …

Monday, March 12th, 2007

Daily Briefing: Circuit’s dead, There’s Something Wrong

Friday, February 23rd, 2007

* Congressional Democrats look to time machine to stop troop surge. [WP, NYT]
* Changing kaleidoscope of “things President Bush could’ve started instead of a war,” moves to alternative fuel technology. [WP, NYT]
* Bursting hybrid owners’ bubbles feels good. [USAT]
* Sooner or later one of the “softball” questions lobbed up at Rudy Giuliani is going to break a window, then he’ll get all crazy, kicking homeless people and yelling about “America’s Mayor’s foot in their ass.” [NYT]
* Sorry Bill Richardson, but it’s about popularity. Just how these things go. [NYT]
* Bill Clinton’s tongue has made him rich. [WP]
* Rep. Sam Johnson is the House’s Walnuts, Syria nuking jokes and all. [LAT]
* Iraqi embassy rebuilt with less “blood, sweat and tears” than, well, you know. [WP]


Rumors On The Internets: Then You Don’t Go Killing All The Bees

Monday, February 19th, 2007

* New JFK assassination film released only 45 years after the Powers That Be killed him. It’s great how the “amateur photographer” got establishing shots of the Texas School Book Depository and the sixth-floor windows before the murder. [Raw Story]
* The teevee causes “cancer, autism, dementia” and other problems, no matter what you watch. PBS probably causes AIDS. [Scotsman]
* Seriously, watching the teevee will kill you, and then your corpse will sit there for a year or so. [IHT]
* Texas congressman Sam Johnson (R-Schizophrenic) was all for withholding U.S. military funding in Bosnia because “the president has tied our hands, gone against the wishes of the American people, and this is the last best way I know how to show my respect for our American servicemen and women.” Obviously, he loves the Iraq Surge today. [Reason Hit & Run]
* U.S. spies reading, laughing at your e-mail. [Cryptogon]
* This little fascist Rep. Lamar Smith (R-Cunt) wants all your Internet traffic and searches and IMs and emails recorded forever and provided to the government, even though Google already does that. {Security Focus]
* WALNUTS! McCain kicks Rummy when he’s down. [CNN]


Iraq War Caused by Saddam Dissing USA

Monday, February 19th, 2007

The Senate’s pro-SURGE forces brought some awesome new ideas to the debate on Friday, but none was as powerful as the new reason for the Iraq War provided by the honorable Jeff Sessions (R-Cracker) — we had to invade and occupy because Saddam Hussein kept sayin’ he won the 1991 Gulf War!

MORE »


Traitorous Hippies Pass Anti-American Resolution

Friday, February 16th, 2007

The House passed the Iraq resolution! And they managed it before we finished working (though not before we started drinking)! Good for them! MORE »


Daily Briefing: No Class

Friday, February 16th, 2007

* House Iraq wrist-slap resolution day is today. Thanks to Harry Reid, Senate will be voting tomorrow while you drink. [WP, WP, NYT]
* The, “and then what” part of the resolution still escapes Democrats. [LAT]
* Other troop surge, in that other war, couldn’t get a Senate vote on a Wednesday if they promised a bowl of navy bean soup for showing up. [WP, NYT]
* Shady dealings of Nevada Governor Jim Gibbons still lack hookers. [WP, NYT]
* Condoleezza Rice was this close to a Palestinian-Israeli peace deal. [USAT]
* Start stockpiling water and granola bars now - the “Y2K7DSTFU” is upon us! [WSJ]
* The blood-thirsty congress-murdering rhetoric of Abraham Lincoln. [WP]


Virgil Goode, Passionate Defender of the Nickel

Thursday, February 15th, 2007

Council On Foreign Relations Also Sick of Iraq Occupation

Wednesday, February 7th, 2007

Except these guys ... they dared call it a conspiracy - WonketteTo a certain crowd, the Council on Foreign Relations is part of the all-powerful Illuminati/Trilateral Commission/Bohemian Grove/Bilderberg/Skull & Bones conspiracy that runs the Western World. And while that’s all true, we shouldn’t overestimate the power of these secret societies. In other words, Bush & Cheney don’t listen to the CFR, either.

Today, the Council on Foreign Relations issued a grim report that very clearly describes the Iraq occupation as an unmitigated disaster with no possible hope of “military victory.” While this is obvious to sane people around the world and was already said by the Iraq Study Group, the House and Senate, all the generals Cheney has fired and even the White House’s own “Iraq Intelligence Estimate,” the CFR has unique knowledge … from the future. Read tomorrow’s news today, after the jump.

MORE »


House to Pass Very Upset Letter to the Editor

Tuesday, February 6th, 2007

To sum up: The House is upset that the Senate could get their shit together and pass a bill politely mentioning that many of them don’t much care for this troop surge. MORE »


Rumors On The Internets: Don’t Hate the Playa, Hate the International Committee

Thursday, February 1st, 2007

* Start practicing your draft card burning now — troop surge may include 48,000 new soldiers. [DefenseTech]
* All the Oscars and Nobel prizes in the world can’t stop Al Gore from crying himself to sleep about the one that got away. [MoJo]
* Fuck it, nevermind: Limbaugh’s up for a Nobel too. [Think Progress]
* If you love Jesus, you hate Alexandra Pelosi. It just has to be that way. [Pandagon]
* Luckily, mom has access to some armor-plated transport. Because if there’s one thing about bible belts, it’s that they usually have guns on them. [Captain's Quarters]
* Joe Biden is a racist marketing genius. [The Carpetbagger Report]
* Barack Obama’s so open minded he even hires staffers who maxed out their contributions to Bush in 2004. [The Politico]
* Judith Miller had to go to jail all by her lonesome thanks to… Jason Blair. [Radar]


Daily Briefing: Seniterz Fer Peas

Wednesday, January 31st, 2007

* Republican resolutions opposing troop escalation are accumulating on the Senate floor, according to Arlen “Snowflake” Specter. [WP, NYT]
* Obama-plan-o-rama calls for all troops to be home from Iraq by Spring ‘08. [WP]
* Judith Miller was “nervous, confused, and agitated” on the witness stand. Turns out it was just pride, fucking with her. [WP, NYT, WSJ]
* Democrats pass spending bill under pressure from DC baseball fans. [WP, NYT]
* German and Italian governments issue indictments for the Jason Bournes in their countries. [LAT]
* Clinton buddy thinks its high time that high-guys got good life insurance. [WP]


SOTU II: Revenge of the Terrorists

Tuesday, January 23rd, 2007

Watch him read something! - Wonkette9:07 — So, our beaten nation now overwhelmingly believes we are losing the War On Terror — which is pretty awesome when you think about it, because it means Bush & Cheney have ultimately succeeded in linking 9/11 with Iraq!
9:10 — Oh for fuck’s sake, he gets “wooooooo!”??? Okay, that’s more like it, “Good luck.” Did Michelle Bachmann just laugh in his face like a crazy nut?
9:12 — “Looks like high school kids greeting each other after summer,” says Chris Matthews, who has name-dropped like a bitch for the past hour.
9:12 — Speaking of name dropping, you want to keep up with the comments on this post and the last one.
9:13 — A rare bit of class from Bush’s speechwriters, noting the first “Madame Speaker.” Cheney doesn’t look quite so pleased. Of course, if Tim Johnson doesn’t have a “speedy recovery,” Cheney will be very pleased, indeed.
9:17 — Actually, wages for the vast majority of Americans have been stagnant for the entire six years Bush has been president.
9:18 — Ohhhh, now he wants to balance the budget.
9:18 — “Without raising taxes” … what about the taxes on health care?
9:19 — Well, five years ago we didn’t even have a federal deficit.
9:20 — Time to refill the three glasses on this editor’s desk.
9:21 — WALNUTS just hopped up like the red-faced comb-over psychotic weirdo he is … Ted Kennedy is either suffering a helluva headache or is listening to a really sad Kate Bush song on his iPod.
9:25 — Hey, that’s what Hillary said about health care in 1993!
9:27 — Oh great, now he’s going to screw up states’ attempts to provide health care for the poor. Sorry, California and Massachusetts.
9:28 — Again with the private accounts.
9:29 — Oh man, the Republicans are going to KILL Bush over this guest worker thing. Luckily, he has Count Chertoff and the armies of vampires for protection.
9:31 — Lou Dobbs is actually going to murder Bush with his own orange-haired hands.
9:32 — Guess who else plans for the USA to use 20% less oil in 10 years? China and India!
9:33 — 2017 is going to be the most awesome year EVER.
9:34 — Nice yawn, big gal in the purple dress!
9:33 — Everybody take a shot of vodka with Cheney and Bush!
9:35 — Uhm, dude, I don’t think that “take the fight to the enemy” has been “settled” in any way, shape or form.
9:36 — If the days of refuge and comfort and communication have ended for the terrorists, what exactly is going on with Bin Laden, Mullah Omar and the rest of them housed and protected by our alleged goddamned ally, Pakistan?
9:38 — Again with the utterly made-up bullshit about the “plot to fly an airplane into the tallest building” in Los Angeles. That was made up. Stop telling stories.
9:39 — Well, we did make The Terrahists a nice little place called Iraq.
9:39 — Here comes the Iran crap.
9:40 — He’s gonna bomb Iran.
9:40 — If Pelosi’s got a shiv, America may be spared the nuclear holocaust.
9:42 — Seriously, where is this enemy? Who are they? They’ve got a helluva agent, don’t they?
9:44 — Nothing like a retard clumsily reading a really poorly written summary of neocon world news.
9:45 — Or, we could find our resolve and impeach your ass.
9:46 — Long, long, long and boring. Say the state of our thing is awesome and wrap it up, bro.
9:47 — Okay, now he’s just reading the Surge Speech again. What, did they print the new one on the back of the old one?
9:48 — Weird how Bush & Cheney did exactly what this so-called enemy wanted so bad. So if Pelosi just put on a burqa and posted something on MySpace, would Bush do exactly what she wants?
9:51 — Jesus, 230+ comments on this post. We advise you read those and ignore the rest of the speech, because now he’s just saying stuff not even he believes would ever be approved.
9:52 — Oh great, because the military reserve is really holding out great under the Endless War Plan.
9:55 — AIDS is bad! (Applause.)
9:56 — Malaria is bad! (Applause.)
9:56 — Oh man, he’s on the Borgen Project, isn’t he? (Applause.)


Early Signs Point to Success of Iraq Surge

Monday, January 22nd, 2007