supreme court
Enron Criminal Jeff Skilling Gets 10 Years Off For White Behavior
Hey, remember when convicted crimer/Cheney best bud/secret Energy Task Force honcho/Enron chief Ken Lay “died” (moved to Paraguay) without ever darkening the door to his prison cell? We remember it too! We assume Jeff Skilling, Lay’s patsy/aka actual CEO of Enron/not really a patsy at all really, remembers it as well and is all why [...]
Willie Nelson Continues Unbroken 79-Year Bestness Streak
“I never thought of marriage as something only for men and women. But I’d never marry a guy I didn’t like.” — Willie Nelson, in this lovely little Texas Monthly interview, which you should trot off and read. Giddyup. [TexasMonthly / Amazon]
Interweb Tea Leaves Predict Supreme Court Probably Going To Make Everyone Gay Marry Each Other Now Or Not
Are all men (we will not even discuss the ladies right now) created equal except the gay kinds? Or does American Jesus want us to uphold the sanctity of Newt Gingrich’s three marriages? These were the questions considered by the Supreme Court Tuesday morning. (Kind of; we are paraphrasing just a little.) The justices haven’t [...]
The New York Times Very Concerned You Might Be Butthurt About People Exercising Constitutional Rights
Roe v. Wade, guys. Roe v. Wade. I know you’re probably shaking your head sadly at the mere mention of that travesty, because even if you support a woman’s right to choose when she gets to grow a baby inside her belly, you probably consider it the worst decision ever decided by the Supreme Court. [...]
Here, Let Us Explain At You About The Voting Rights Act
Perhaps you all haven’t noticed, but it turns out that we, the people, elected a Black president! Not once, but TWICE! This, of course, is unacceptable and can never. happen. again. Did we mention that it is a great time to revisit the constitutionality of the Voting Rights Act, which is just a coincidence and [...]
Same-Sex Marriage Opponents Have A Grand New Incoherent Argument: Marriage Is For Dumbs
Lawyers defending Prop 8 and the Defense of Marriage Act have come up with a really good argument for why the gays shouldn’t be able to get married: they think too much before they have babies. Marriage should be limited to unions of a man and a woman because they alone can “produce unplanned and [...]
Presenting Wonket’s Gifs Of The Year That We Stole From Buzzfeed, Duh
AIYEEEEEE! WE ARE SO SCARED! ROMNEYSPAWN, RUN AWAY! On the flipside, our other gif of the year, which is happy-happy and will soothe your terrors away.
Antonin Scalia Knows Sodomy & Murder Not Same Thing, He Just Likes Saying They Are
Supreme Court Justice Antonin Scalia may be an utter asshat, but at least he’s occasionally a funny asshat. Take for instance the latest fuck-tussle over his equating laws against sodomy with laws against murder. Yes, that’s pretty much the comparison he made. But look, it’s not like he thinks they’re exactly the same! He’s just [...]
Whiny Gays Finally Get Day in Court, Keep Whining Anyway
Hey gay homosexuals! Be happy! The Supreme Court is going to hear your gay cases about all the sick things you gays do, like get married and serve in the military. Wait, what? You’re NOT uniformly happy that the Supreme Court will hear your gay cases because there’s some complex different issues blah blah blah? [...]
Justice Scalia Full Of Interesting Opinions About Your Sodomy
Justice Antonin Scalia wants everyone to just keep their panties on, everyone, because “We can disagree with one another on the law without taking it personally.” Totally! So when he says that laws forbidding abortion, the death penalty and buttseks are clearly constitutional, don’t take it personally, gays and criminals and pregnant ladies. After all, [...]
Hero Connecticut Supreme Court Justices Defend Rapists From Clutches of Temptresses With Cerebral Palsy
Here, Wonketteers, let us blog at you about a very, very sad story made EVEN SADDER by the geniuses serving on the Connecticut State Supreme Court. See, back in 2008, a man from Bridgeport, Connecticut, was found guilty of sexually assaulting a 26-year old woman with cerebral palsy who can’t speak and has very little [...]
Here Is Your Gif Of Elizabeth Warren Trying And Failing Not To Laugh At Scott Brown
Last night’s Massachusetts Senate Debate clusterfuck, “moderated” by David Gregory, almost broke Your Editrix as she melted into a #sloppysloppy puddle of outrage and vapors. But here, via Buzzfeed, is Elizabeth Warren laughing her ass off at Scott Brown’s answer to the question “Who is your model Supreme Court justice?” Brown delayed answering for about [...]
Karl Rove’s Charity Has Very Charitable Purpose Of Buying Election For Mitt Romney
Hello, bleeding heart liberals, we know you are already very excited about hating SuperPACs but could you perhaps make room in your heart to hate some specific non-profits as well? Because — and we hate to be the ones to break it to you — non-profit organizations are just as capable of spending massive amounts [...]
A Brief Interlude From Rand Paul
“Just because a couple people on the Supreme Court declare something to be ‘constitutional’ does not make it so. The whole thing remains unconstitutional.” Have a good weekend, Rand Paul! [Politico]
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