supreme court

Hey, remember how we told you just a little while ago about how the DC Circuit Court had done nonconsensual ear sexing to Obamacare? Well that story is still a True Thing, but today’s news cycle is determined to mess with our blood pressure, and so OF COURSE within a couple hours of that DC […]

Congratulations, wingnuts! One of those longshot legal challenges to the Affordable Care Act finally found a sympathetic venue! The D.C. Circuit Court of Appeals ruled today that, thanks to a technicality in the way the law is written, subsidies for insurance premiums cannot be paid to people who sign up through the federal exchange. It […]

Hey, folks, are you ready to relive the 2000 election? As if some of us didn’t spend most of 2000 through 2008 doing that already? Go dimple your chads, because it’s time for some butterfly ballots, Christian-textbook style!

When Jon Stewart takes a vacation, he usually returns to find that some eminently mockable story has broken while he was away. He was on break when Dick Cheney shot that guy in the face, for instance, and when Sara Palin quit (as governor, that time). But returning from this most recent two-week break, Stewart […]

This is encouraging! For all of us who wondered how we’ll ever get along come 2017, when a new president means we’ll be starved of “Obama is a muslin” stories, Washington Times columnist Robert Knight is auditioning a new possibility: Maybe Hillary Clinton worships Baal, a generic name for any one of several local deities […]

I like my vagina. I think it’s great. I love touching it. I’m better at it than anyone else I’ve ever known, in that Biblical way, if you know what I mean. (Sex. I mean sex.) I love how it looks and feels when it’s perfectly waxed and smooth. It makes sex quite pleasant; it […]

Usually, it is the legislative and/or executive branches that do a late-afternoon pre-holiday weekend news dump, hoping to hide something especially egregious in plain sight, thinking you’ll be too busy to notice because you’re picking up two cases of Bud Light Lime and an absolute fuck-ton of M-80s to take to the cabin. This year, however, […]

So now that the Hobby Lobby case has established once and for all the sacred right of employers to crack down on rowdy ladyparts, Rick Santorum’s Echolight Studios wants you all to know that they just happen to have a movie in the works that includes a discussion of Hobby Lobby — what excellent timing! […]

Were you thinking that Monday’s Supreme Court rulings represented the nadir of awfulness for this Court term and maybe also too your natural life, law-wise, but at least you could rest easy until October when the Court would start fucking up your life again? Haha when will you ever learn? In theory, the Hobby Lobby […]

How was your day yesterday? Do you still have a stick of furniture left unbroken after the twin-barreled double fun dose of bullshit you got from the Supreme Court? Neither do we! So as you can imagine, we’re grasping at the slimmest of straws to find something that makes us feel less filled with rage […]

The American Patriarchy Association didn’t want to leave anything to chance with its poll about the Supreme Court’s decision in the Hobby Lobby case, so it gave readers a choice between being excited that God answered their prayers (and yet Barack Obama obstinately remains in office), or being excited that the religious freedom to keep […]

If you want to spend your morning rage-reading the Supreme Court’s decision in Burwell, Secretary of Health and Human Services, et al. v. Hobby Lobby Stores, Inc., et al., aka, Actual Science Stuff v. People Who Think Your Birth Control Makes Jesus Cry, you may want to reconsider, because it will make you want to […]

We’re all still reeling over the awful Hobby Lobby decision today, but thank heavens, some of our great thinkers have already weighed in. For instance, Rick Santorum is positively frothy over the decision, even to the point of losing his prepositions: SCOTUS restored a vital piece our Constitution today [sic]. It’s a great day for […]

ALITO SUCKS  12:05 pm June 30, 2014

Supreme Court Dicks Over Unions

by DDM

Hey, did you know that there were TWO decisions from the Supreme Bishops Court today? Before they announced that ‘Corporations are religious people, my friend,’ they announced a decision about unions. And we saw that unions were once again weakened: The Supreme Court ruled narrowly on Monday that some government employees do not have to […]

The curtain opens on a  generic office setting. THE BOSS sits behind a desk, feet up, hands folded behind head. His employee, LADY WORKER, enters, looking nervous.  LADY WORKER: You wanted to see me? THE BOSS: Yes, yes. Do sit down, child. Wait, you do not have your period, do you? LADY WORKER: Excuse me? THE […]