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Posts Tagged ‘superheroes’

Bush Commutes Captain America’s Sentence

Thursday, July 12th, 2007

The official story was that Captain America, Nazi-fighting comic hero and symbol of America’s love of primary colors and muscle definition, had been killed by an unidentified sniper — though rumors circulated that he’d shot himself in disgrace after realizing the extent of the crimes of those he’d so publicly cozied up with. The sad truth came more than a month later. MORE »


Walnuts Proposes International Team of Superheroes Will End Iraq War

Tuesday, May 1st, 2007

I need you, but I hate to see you this way / If I were Superman then we'd fly away - WonketteEveryone know the UN has failed to solve all those wars and shit it was supposed to solve. This is because it was created and run by pussies. John McCain has a better idea: a thing that’s like the UN but started by a totally tough badass. And instead of like Finland and Sweden and shit it’ll have the USA and, uh… the Green Lantern. MORE »


Comic Book Version of America Dies, Too

Wednesday, March 7th, 2007

The Captain weeps; Rumsfeld only has eyes for Spidey's lil' cock. - Wonkette
Having decided that’s it’s just not funny anymore to have a heroic character called “Captain America,” Marvel Comics has killed off the famed comic-book “super soldier.” Created in the 1940s as a cartoon foe of Nazi Germany and Imperial Japan, the Captain has had some hard times. Nobody loves America and we aren’t exactly winning wars these days. Read the whole sad story, after the jump.

MORE »