Here’s your new president, Barack Obama, just cold dialin’ the Joint Chiefs from the Oval Office and orderin’ up his new composite-kevlar superhero outfit and a dozen sharks with frickin’ laser beams attached to their heads. Also, new White House photographer Pete Souza is good! ALSO: Dear new White House, you dudes need to promptly get these pix up on the WhiteHouse.gov website, instead of special-delivering them to the frickin’ New York Times. America (Wonkette) owns these White House photos.