Now that Mark Penn has been stuffed in a spider hole with a box of Ho-Hos and a well-thumbed issue of Juggs, Hillary Clinton won’t have to worry about him ruining anything else for her until September. In the meantime, she can worry about Harold Ickes — the campaign adviser and borderline exhibitionist who’s waging a harassment campaign on uncommitted superdelegates. MORE »

Besides the wives and children, who are the true victims of high-placed leaders’ tawdry sex affairs? Hillary Clinton and Barack Obama, of course! Former New York Governor Eliot Spitzer and indicted Detroit Mayor Kwame Kilpatrick are (or were) both Democratic superdelegates. Spitzer was in the tank for Clinton, while Kilpatrick reportedly favors Obama, even though the Obama campaign halfheartedly denies it. So what happens when reckless oversexed Democrats let their personal addictions interfere with their public lives? They make the increasingly weird superdelegate count even less predictable. Of course, none of this matters if Clinton and Obama superdelegates keep cancelling each other out by getting caught in embarrassing situations in equal numbers. [Political Punch, NPR]

The Florida Democratic party has issued a draft memo for a possible mail-in do-over primary vote that will likely never happen, because it costs money. It would also require effort, and everyone in Florida is a retired police officer. Who wants to piece that half-baked bastardization of Democracy together? The various alligators? No, no one wants this… this… “mail-in” faux primary. Fortunately the Democratic party “elders” may be cooking up something that requires no effort and everyone would accept, but maybe not Barack Obama. MORE »

Far weirder than furries or watersports enthusiasts are the kinksters who get off on political talk. Whether it’s a craving for superdelegates, Obama suppporters, or Barack Obama himself, Craigslist sex lunatics will tell you precisely what they want — and what documentation you’ll need in order to get into their pants. Horrifying, slutty details, after the jump. MORE »

DC’s two “shadow” senators, Michael Brown and Paul Strauss, have given their very worthless, non-voting, figurehead endorsements to Barack Obama, the corrupt Chicago hustler currently running for president. Actually, that’s a lie — these two are each superdelegates, so they can vote at the convention and not just pretend to vote from the peanut gallery. What kind of democracy is that, when we are now letting fake senators pick the president? Why doesn’t Barack Obama denounce or reject this? [DCist]

Chelsea Clinton recently went on a much-publicized breakfast date with Jason Rae, the 21-year-old Democratic superdelegate college student, in an attempt to sway him towards Camp Hillary. Something went wrong — too much teeth, perhaps? — and he’s decided to endorse Barack Obama. According to Rae, “It is a difficult choice for anyone, but in the end, the choice for me has become clear. I am proudly supporting Senator Barack Obama.” Aww poor Chels! Practice on a banana, sweetheart, and forget Jason Rae ever existed. [CNN]

Just as Ron Paul will harness confusion at the Republican National Convention to convert supposedly “pledged” delegates to his uplifting cause, Hillary Clinton will do the same on the Democratic side. A senior Clinton adviser told Politico’s Roger Simon, the guy who looks a bit like Henry Waxman except without the insane nose, that if forced the Clinton campaign would pursue the votes of pledged delegates–those assigned based on the results of primaries and caucuses. MORE »

Democratic Senators Chuck Schumer (NY) and Dick Durbin (IL)–a Clinton and an Obama supporter, respectively–are what D.C. insiders call “roommates.” They sparred like Montagues and Capulets on Meet the Press yesterday, and in the end they admitted that Dick was the one who makes the bed back at home. At least the Republicans have the decency to conduct this sort of behavior in the privacy of their own public bathroom stalls. [Meet the Press]

John McCain was a mere 90 years old when Democratic superdelegate Jason Rae was born. The now 21-year-old rose to stardom at the age of 17, when he defeated the president of the Wisconsin state firefighter’s union and was elected to the DNC at the state party convention. Now Chelsea Clinton, her dad and every other Democrat you have ever heard of is calling him up and trying to lock down his superdelegate vote. What are they promising him? Bong rips? [ABC News]

Howard Dean never became president, but now he might be able to pick one! He said yesterday that the DNC would like to have a nominee by mid-March or April. But he will NOT have him some kind of brokered convention if that doesn’t work. Oh yes, he went there: an “arrangement” might be in order. MORE »

*THAT CHELSEA IS GOING PLACES:* Mute mercenary-child Chelsea Clinton “has been calling uncommitted superdelegates to seek their support,” according to Politico’s Ben Smith. But is it for her mom’s campaign or her own planned run in 2024? I bet she’ll have all sorts of new tax credit micro-reform ideas by then! It’s the Clinton Way(TM). [Ben Smith]