Wonkette

*PROJECTIONS:* MSNBC calls Connecticut for Obama. That’s big! It was one of those states that could have gone anywhere for anyone. But now it will never go to Hillary Clinton. Cry baby! Go cry somewhere, baby!

He’s saying some loser shit. A loser liveblog, after the loser jump. MORE »

*PROJECTIONS:* Obama — Utah; Huckabee — Albama; Various Candidates — Other states we missed

He was our CEO business-smart Olympian. Also, everyone hated him. And now, GOP fading star Mitt Romney is smiling through his robot tears.

He looks about the same as always, although his eyes are sinking deeper into his android metal tan skull. He would’ve been an awesome president … of the Scientologists in French Outer Space! Let’s see if Mitt’s many kids will live in the America he bought that one time! MORE »

So many new states are about to pick their own special presidents! Let’s see who will be projected to punch Wolf Blitzer in his “beard.” It’s Arizona, Colorado, Kansas, New Mexico, New York, North Dakota, Minnesota … so many states, so much election projection business! MORE »

*PROJECTIONS:* Clinton — New Jersey (haha, Barack’s a loser!); Obama — Alabama (BLACK)

Hillary Clinton lost Georgia, 60% to 37%. How does the crazy lady explain this? Answer: “Fuck Georgia.” Official talking points after the jump! MORE »

Well, this looks like a sullen Barack Obama rally … until they notice they’re ON THE TEEVEE, some 30 seconds after they’ve been shown to the world as a bunch of tired sadsacks. And this is in Chicago, which is in Illinois, which he won. [CNN]

So much that he will vote for that Socialist cow Clinton before he pulls the lever for Walnuts.

Hey there, what’s this “Live on the Internets” thing that you people do? There’s some typey and then some more typey and then your editor abandons you for a new post? Let’s do it! MORE »

Here’s Handsome Barack Obama, telling people about his favorite candidate, right after he voted for Hillary in Illinois.

So your editor had to get the satellite teevee because he just moved his entire family including small children and a dog to the Mojave Desert far from your evil civilization. And check it out: The Direct TV has this “News Mix” channel which is what you see pictured. All the news channels! You can just move through them with the little buttons on your remote, and get the audio off whichever you need/have to hear at that moment. This is some kind of techmologies revolution! [NewsMix]

Wonkette’s operative in Georgia, Walt McBride, sends this… haunting image from the cemetery of old Confederate racists. They’ve been so moved by Barack’s Hope that they’re not only disavowing their love of slavery — they’re coming back from the dead to vote!