So your editor had to get the satellite teevee because he just moved his entire family including small children and a dog to the Mojave Desert far from your evil civilization. And check it out: The Direct TV has this “News Mix” channel which is what you see pictured. All the news channels! You can just move through them with the little buttons on your remote, and get the audio off whichever you need/have to hear at that moment. This is some kind of techmologies revolution! [NewsMix]

Wonkette’s operative in Georgia, Walt McBride, sends this… haunting image from the cemetery of old Confederate racists. They’ve been so moved by Barack’s Hope that they’re not only disavowing their love of slavery — they’re coming back from the dead to vote!

OMG IT’S THE MOST FANTASTIC BABY ON THE PLANET EVER! This daughter of Wonkette operative Sam Shepard has voted for Barack Obama at Skokie Community Center on the Northwest Side of Chicago, which is near the SOUTH SIDE OF CHICAGO, Barry’s home turf. Hooray for the young vote!

Wonkette operative Brian Ries took this photo of secret masturbation in Bushwick, Brooklyn, NY. Since this person must be a hippie, who is he masturbating for — Alan Keyes?