March 9, 2014
Sarah Palin went on — or should we say, was transmitted through someone’s phone-toy in the direction of — CNN during Tuesday’s Super Snoozeday parade, and proclaimed that who knows whether she’ll run for president today, tomorrow, or after the Mayan apocalypse, but anything is possible because Americans can do anything they put their minds […]
See below for Wonkette Sadness Update — and beloved commenters, please do try to be civil. Operation Rescue founder Randall “I hate my dead live dead gay son” Terry beat President Barack Obama in the Democratic primaries in 15 Oklahoma counties. That’s all well and good — NOobaAma, and etc. — but what does Randall […]
What’s up, Cleveland Plain-Dealer? Pretty exciting night, there, yes, with your still hanging chads or somesuch but “advantage Romney,” certainly what ho? So many exciting Politics in O-hi-o, with Elf Queen Consort Dennis Kucinich losing his fabled place in the hearts of Hippie-Americans as Keebler cookie-maker-in-chief to nice lady and new Elvish Queen Marcy Kaptur. […]
Dying and it’s only 8:30 PST. How do you people DO THIS all the time? Kirsten and I are going to liveblog Cougartown. GET READY! 11:30 — “What a huge caucus” — Wolf Blitzer.
Will Mittens lose Ohio to Weird Rick? We don’t know, is the thing! The two losers are still neck and neck as 65% 85% or so of precincts have been counted. The cable news channels are beginning to talk about important vote mini-clusters in small counties. This usually means we’ll be here until 5 a.m. […]
We have been watching Wolf Blitzer check in with all of CNN’s weird “cock-us cams” molesting exit polls workers around the country for a few hours now, and now we are watching Rick Santorum give an incoherent lecture to a group of cheerleaders trying to ignore him as they finish Tuesday night practice in a […]
Hello. What are you doing? It’s time to figure out what some quadrilateral land masses think about three organic masses and one gas, which were each forced to apply for Obama’s job because their tyrannical wives and gas-wife made them. We would say, We are watching this very closely, but that would be plagiarism, so […]
Hey why has Your Wonkette done so many Newt Gingrich posts all day forever? Because we doubt we’ll have Ol’ Newt to kick around anymore, and we miss the mean old bastard already. He’s been in a funk for weeks (years?) now, and without those recharging trips to Greece, he has just been a sour […]
Wonkette back-alley trash operative “Jim S.” sends us this Super Tuesday Polling Pic of democracy in action in Huntington, Virginia, where some rascally teenagers or volunteer poll workers put a comical “Vote Here” sign over the fetid waste depositories. What does this mean?
Super Tuesday: It is like Christmas, but it’s about politics! And we must treasure it before it dies off for another four years. And so your Wonkette is in the memory collection business today, again, and demands that you voters in 10 states send us your naughtiest Super Tuesday campaign pix and stories and videos […]