super bowl
Glenn Beck’s ‘The Blaze’ Asks Brave Question About Beyoncé’s ‘Illuminati Symbol’ During Halftime Show
Oh, sure, maybe you thought the real scandal about Beyoncé’s halftime show was all the gyrating and unladylike whorish dressing and near-hoo-ha hand motions, but that is because you are shallow. Yes we will say it. You are shallow to let yourself be distracted by these meaningless questions of whether Beyoncé was lip-synching or too [...]
American Exceptionalism Blows Fuse
America the Beautiful, as the Sandy Hook survivors sang, with your cities swept away and never to be rebuilt, crumbling bridges, space shuttles disintegrating, 787s that can’t fucking fly without catching on fire (lithium ion batteries did not work for Dell laptops, they certainly aren’t going to work for you Boeing), your electric power as [...]
South Carolina Republican Bravely Tweets Similarities Between Trayvon Martin, Super Bowl
Meet Todd Kincannon. This tall drink of water is the former executive director of the South Carolina Republican Party, an attorney, and the community organizer of something on Twitter called the Twitter Gulag Defense Network or #tgdn. Todd Kincannon is also a man with some very strong opinions about last night’s Super Bowl. This Super [...]
Member Of CNN’s ‘Best Political Team On Television’ Suspended For Tweeting About David Beckham’s Underpants
The pussies (meant lovingly) (ehh) who run CNN have suspended a member of the network’s “Best Political Team on Television,” Roland Martin, the jovial ascot-wearing fellow who appears on television to play with David Gergen and Ari Fleischer on election nights. Did he kidnap Wolf Blitzer’s wife or something? No, we’ve all done that. He [...]
Karl Rove ‘Offended’ By Dull Ad Promoting Major U.S. Company
Tucked amid the Stupor Bowl teevee commercials for naked chocolate candies, cheesy salt chips, war pornography, and the latest domestic water-beers was this one featuring old Clint Eastwood, the next Bat-Man, scouring stadium catacombs for the The Joker or maybe the Taco Bell. “It’s halftime in America and our second half’s about to begin,” he [...]
Defense Spends $450,000 On Flying Over Football Stadium Closed Off To Sky
For absurdity, how about those four Navy F-18s flying over the stadium – with its retractable roof closed? Everybody inside could only see the planes on the stadium’s video screens. It was strictly a two-second beauty shot. Know what it cost taxpayers? I’ll tell you: $450,000. (The Navy justifies the expense by saying it’s good [...]
AOL Buys Arianna Huffington’s Famous Internet Website
Sweet Jeebus, AOL has agreed to purchase popular liberal/Brangelina Internet destination “The Huffington Post” for $315 million! Why does AOL think this is a wise investment? And will Arianna Huffington’s citizen journalists continue to Win the Afternoon, with the hottest hot scoops (“D-List Celebrity Has Boobs” and “Ten Things You Didn’t Know About Celebrities Who [...]
The Super Bowl Is THE Time To Celebrate Our Best President’s Birfday
This year’s Super Bowl may not include Tim Tebow lecturing America about nearly-aborted fetuses, but it has something even better: Lord Ronald Reagan! Some soulless libtards planned the Super Bowl to be on Reagan’s 100th birthday, so to make up for this, the event will now include a pre-game circle jerk tribute to this dead [...]
Super Bowl Sunday: Come For the Lardy Food, Stay For the Sex Slaves!
Hey! Super Bowl 666 (sorry – Super Bowl DCLXVI) is just days away. Which group of plus-sized men wearing leggings and suffering from multiple concussions/severe dementia will win? And will there be a multitude of funny beer commercials, for Rancid Piss Lite, et cetera, for all the miserable people watching on their HD wide-screens at [...]
National Review Breaks Down Inherent Evil Of Football Snack Commercial
Many Americans enjoyed this ad for cheesy potato chips that aired during a television football game last week, making for some good water-cooler chat the next day, in the unemployment line. Conservative columnist and radio host Dennis Prager, writing in National Review, explains why they’re wrong.
McCain: U.S. Government Cannot Even Compete With Doritos, The Snack
HEHNGNN HEHNGNN HEHNGNN HEHNGNN HEHNGNN HEHNGNN. Should put it on during another program. What’s the number one program these days, on the machine box… still The Andy Rooney Variety Hour? Or does International Business Machines still have a boilermaker’s clutch on that? HEHNGNN? [Twitter]
Ayn Rand: As Dead As Ever, And Maybe More Boring Too!
Happy 105th birthday, Ayn Rand! If you were still alive, millions of Objectivists wouldn’t have to fantasize about having frantic, sweaty intercourse with your dead corpse. [Hit & Run] Matthew turns up the sass! Look at him go! [Matt Yglesias] Take your hot date to the new romantic comedy starring Hugh Grant, his health care, [...]
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