Tag: super bowl

Breaking! Georgia Gov. Nathan Deal Kicks Gay-Hatin’ Wingnuts Right In Their Tiddlywinks

BREAKING NEWS, a wingnut governor is not being totally awful! Georgia Gov. Nathan Deal -- a Republican -- announced in a presser Monday morning, the very day after our risen Christ done rosed again, that he will veto Georgia House...

Snake Oil Bulletin: All The Single Demons In Formation To Put A Super Bowl Ring On It

Greetings, friends and loved ones, and welcome back to the Snake Oil Bulletin! Did you happen to catch the Annual Sportsball Faire last weekend? Both sportsball clubs sported their hardest, but one club sported the ball better than the...

Bundys, Beyoncé And Rick Snyder’s Wife’s Birthday Cake. Your Weekly Top Ten.

Well hi there and good Saturday morning to you, Wonkers! Many newses happened this week, so it's good that you're here for us to catch up together! Haha just kidding, we are not together, because WE WROTE THESE DAMN...
Red Lobster's all "Will you be our girlfriend?"

Red Lobster Thrilled Beyoncé Considers It Top Choice For Post-Coital Noshing

Red Lobster is having a very giggity week right now, what with the shoutout it just got from Queen Beyoncé Who Slays, in her stunning new single "Formation," which she released as a surprise on Saturday, the way she likes to do....

Florida Man Hurls Gator Through Wendy’s Drive-Thru Window, Becomes Apex Florida Man

It's been way too long since we've had the opportunity to check in on the adventures of Florida Man. Happily, he's back. There's just no more clever way to say this: a dude in Royal Palm Beach, Florida, hurled an alligator...
Donald Trump with his First Lady AKA his daughter.

BREAKING: Donald Trump Wins Iowa Caucuses!

Guys, hot off the presses and BREAKING! and all of that stuff. The final Iowa caucus results have been released, by Donald Trump's brain, and it turns out Ted Cruz did NOT win. Turns out Trump was the winner...
Can't you see how she's dividing America right here?

Beyoncé Super Bowl Show Features Black People, Wingnuts Super Outraged

Sunday's Pepsi Super Bowl 50 Halftime Show at Levi's Stadium in Facebook, California, was tinged with controversy. In an astonishing move, the NFL chose Coldplay to headline as an obvious diversity hire. Some more sensitive types were unsettled by...
Never should have installed that Romney2012 emulator

Marco Rubio Will Pay You To Make Fun Of Him Forever And Ever

You may have missed it in all the excitement over that thrilling sportsball contest where the team with the one bunch of guys beat the team with the other bunch of guys, and there were lots of poop commercials,...
SHE PISSED.

Lesbian Superhero Houston Mayor Wants Gay Rights Ordinance Back Right Now, Dammit

Tuesday night, Houston took one giant leap backward for humankind, as the Jenny Jerkoffs who showed up to vote decided to listen to lying religious right mofos instead of their own good sense, and effectively killed the Houston Equal...
Happy Bey-Day, Mike Huckabee's archnemesis!

Happy Birthday Beyoncé, Mike Huckabee Still Thinks You’re A Whore!

BREAKING NEWS, GUYS. On this day in (year redacted because TIMELESS, but also 1981), Beyoncé Knowles was bornded, and then she went on "Star Search," and then she did Destiny's Child, and then she broke off on her own and...
DON'T BELIEVE HIM BO.

Oh No, Barack Obama Is Going To Do The Puppy Holocaust Now, For Allah!

You know that thing during the Super Bowl, where there is the Puppy Bowl for all the girls and homosexuals who are only there for the spiked punch? And know how, as per Mike Huckabee, Obama is doing the...

Arkansas Does Not Need Your Gay Business, Gays!

Oh, we are SNEERING at our home state of Arkansas right now, so hard. You see, we grew up in Little Rock during the days of Bill Clinton, back when Arkansas was Democrat Tuff, in a very blue dog...

Creationists Mad At JFK, The Ocean, Carnival Cruise Lines, The Super Bowl, Reality

It's that special time of the year. The Super Bowl is over, we are still reeling (or happy, if you're into that sort of thing) over the Worst Play Call In History, and wingnuts have now had a couple...
Interception!

Morning Maddow: Rachel Tests Balls In A Men’s Room, For SCIENCE! (Video)

Rachel Maddow goes all Mythbusters in this segment on the under-inflated foot-the-ball scandal, testing out the hypothesis that a New England Patriots employee may have done something nasty to the footballs in a stadium restroom. With the help of TRMS...

Tucker Carlson’s Internet Home For Fascists Who Can’t Read Good Blames Liberals For Tom Brady’s Deflated Balls

We were doing our goddamned level best not to care about or pay attention to the sportsball controversy some moron decided to call Deflategate, because everything needs a fucking “-gate” suffix, because every-fucking-thing is just like Richard Nixon ratfucking...
Politifact gives you FIVE AND A HALF PINOCCHIOS, BOEHNER.

Boehner And Schumer Engage In Twitter Slap Fight As American Dignity Swirls Further Down Toilet

We do so enjoy a little lighthearted, good-natured bicameral smack talk in Congress. Like this exchange between Speaker of the House John Boehner and this other guy, a cousin of very funny comedienne Amy Schumer who also happens to...