Well crap. Somehow it’s almost the end of July. This is when you start thinking, “what the hell have I been doing with my summer?” DON’T LET YOUR SUMMER GO TO WASTE. Our political leaders have traveled, had affairs, and resigned; stars have died; Iran blew up; Honduras went all crazy. You deserve to have just as fulfilling and scandalous a summer as the rest of the world. MORE »

WHY DOES MICHELLE OBAMA HATE OUR NATION’S PROVIDERS OF TELEVISION ENTERTAINMENT? “She said that she had instituted what she called ‘Camp Obama’ at the White House, which means that the TV and computer stay off all day until after dinner and before bedtime, adding that bed time was early.” It is terribly unpatriotic to prevent one’s children from watching television 16 hours a day in the summer. How else are they going to learn English? [First Read]

Guess what, Democratic National Committee kids working through the hot summer months while everybody else is pretty much not thinking at all about the election?

The DNC says you can sorta dress down for summer — but not like a complete whore or a bum! Read the new Dress Code and feel the wind beneath your … uh, skirt. MORE »

Further proof that Our Media still conceives of Barack Obama as a 27-year-old NBA All Star. Oh man, look at the size of that boner on John McCain! Why won’t Walnuts show any nip action, however? TAKE IT OFF, TAKE IT OFF, SHOW YR NIPPLES. [Photo illustration by Andrew Eccles for New York Magazine]

Tomorrow is quittin’ time for Hillary Clinton, so today she threw a big farewell bash for her 500-person staff at her Georgetown home, Whitehaven Manor Castle, “in the back yard by the swimming pool.” And although Hillary could’ve served the troops just fine, thank you, with her trademark potato salad recipe — which consists of bourbon and no potatoes at all — she donated another $11 million to her campaign for catering! “All morning, workers brought tables, food, and bags of ice through the side gate, assisted by Secret Service agents. Valets helped park cars to keep them off the quiet one-way street.” Oh boy!

UPDATE BELOW: We’re hearing that many sad pandas on Team Clinton didn’t get invited. MORE »

* Rethinking the flip-flop: “The net result of this understandable and natural flip-flop preservation mechanism is to create an overall walk that is actually more of a waddle.” Still think you look sexy? [The DC Sidewalk Blog]
* We were all a little more innocent, not excluding cereal: “In addition to being about 7 years old, it’s also Raisin Bran from another era. Pre-9/11 Raisin Bran. It tasted like… a more innocent Raisin Bran.” [Dumb Things I Have Done Lately]
* High in the mid-90’s, 100% humidity — perfect timing for a Metro Disturbance: “The platform was full of hot, tired-looking people. Working people. People who just wanted to get home. To dinner. To anywhere other than a Metro platform.” [Candy Sandwich]
* “The detrimental effects of unlimited noise had never entered my mind, but apparently, it’s bad. Really bad.” [/Quest for Quiet]
* “Who takes birds for a walk? It doesn’t look like any parrot or cockatoo or some other fancy bird either. It just looks like a small regular bird. Maybe a love bird? Maybe a parakeet.” [Sarah and the Goon Squad]

* How do people afford DC? [Elaine Meyer]
* Oh, gentrification: “It’s normally not a welcoming gesture when we move into neighborhoods with our noses in the air. It’s usually not good community practice when you are afraid of neighbors who have lived there for years.” [DCSavvy]
* Do you want to live in Petworth? Do you, punk? [Prince of Petworth]
* “Is that a dingleberry on Murtha’s butt?!” Caption that photo. [On Rush Hour in D.C]
* “It’s Summer Time, kids. God I love this…it’s getting hot out. The Nats are playin’. The 4th of July is just around the corner. There’s a whole lot of skin being shown on the streets of DC. And to that end, y’all, it’s time for a Blogger’s Happy Hour.” Oh, yes, Blogger’s Happy Hour. [I Now Pronounce You]

Still no sign of the Xylophone. (Photo by, you guessed it, Liz Gorman)

Typ-i-cal. As soon as The Atlantic moves to Washington, suddenly no one there knows how to dress. So here comes management with a friendly list of guidelines.

Per the New York Observer’s Gabe Sherman:

“Our policy is intentionally vague and does not specifically exclude certain articles of clothing or types of shoes,” Susan Lavigne, Atlantic director of benefits and compensation wrote. Lavigne then went on to specifically exclude certain articles of clothing and types of shoes: “Flip-flops, crop tops, tank tops, spaghetti-strap tops, and shorts (to name a few) are not appropriate.”

Full memo after the jump.

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You guys got your famous-for-DC minor media figure stalking booklets handy? Good. Let’s begin. MORE »

OK, so maybe we’ve been a little hard on the WaPo Style section’s handling of the wondrous sensorium that is summer. After all, we very nearly missed David Broder’s dispatch on the security fence surrounding his own summer getaway, which we are so very happy to report is named Beaver Island. (What, the guy couldn’t find it on Pay Per View?) Yet–wouldn’t you know it–the island’s hifalutin security measures proved unequal to a crisis that befell Broder and his 500 or so other cabin retreaters hoping to cross a channel from Lake Michigan via a drawbridge on the fritz:

An electrical surge in the municipal power plant had knocked out switches in the bridge controls, and no one knew how to repair them — until a Highway Department technician could drive up from Lansing. That meant that the 8:30 trip from Charlevoix didn’t leave until 1:15 in the afternoon. MORE »

In Installment No. 947 of the ongoing “It’s Summer, and We’re Officially Out of Ideas” series, editors of the WaPo Style section at least stop flogging the old heat-and-shade warhorses. Today, instead, they turn the redoubtable Linton Weeks loose on “the sounds of summer.” Get out your onomonopoeia headphones, nimble readers: MORE »