Man, the “easy post factory” will carry this entire liberal/evil blogosphere on her back, alone, through these last slow news days of summer, if she must. She could charge a subscription fee for each time she opens her mouth, and we’d buy 270 days up-front! Here’s the latest, from a speech she gave yesterday in Denver, which is far, far away from her congressional district: “‘This cannot pass,’ the Minnesota Republican told a crowd at a Denver gathering sponsored by the Independence Institute. ‘What we have to do today is make a covenant, to slit our wrists, be blood brothers on this thing. This will not pass. We will do whatever it takes to make sure this doesn’t pass.’” Well, what’s the body count so far? [Colorado Independent]

• SERIOUSLY WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU PEOPLE? “Certainly, McCain had no idea if the person on the other end of the tweet was really depressed or just seeking attention, but she was legitimately trying to help someone. That deserves respect, not taunting. Yet Layne continued to make fun of her, accusing her of being a second-rate ‘Bat Man’ and of going ‘progressively more nuts while reading the random twitters of other people.’” Best part of this commentary: it’s filed under the “Celebrity Kids” category. [Examiner]

• A LITTLE TOO LONG ON THE BUSINESS DESK: Here’s a wry bit of Gallows Humor from the Associated Press: “Kellermann’s death is the latest in a string of blows to Freddie Mac, which owns or guarantees about 13 million mortgages and us the No. 2 mortgage finance company after sibling Fannie Mae.” [AP]

NATIONAL MURDER-SUICIDE SLAUGHTER CONTINUES: This time it’s Alabama, where a guy killed his whole family and then offed himself. [Times Daily, Alabama]

Jesus christ, this whole country is drowning in its own blood. We take a day off — the Sabbath — and there are another half-dozen gruesome murders or murder-suicides. Cops and the families of the killers seem to be particularly common targets. We don’t recall Homicidal Frenzy as being a normal part of, say, the recessions of 1981-82, 1991-92 or 2001. MORE »

• CHUCK GRASSLEY ALSO SAID THIS: When he wasn’t talking about suckin’ tits earlier today, Chuck Grassley was saying THIS about AIG: “The first thing that would make me feel a little bit better towards them if they’d follow the Japanese model and come before the American people and take that deep bow and say I’m sorry, and then either do one of two things — resign, or go commit suicide.” +1 for Grassley, truly. He’s now trying to walk it back, of course — “I do not actually want them to commit suicide” — but this is progress, America. These people *should* be told to commit suicide, if they insist on destroying the world for everyone else while they’re still alive. Chuck Grassley is the new Santelli/Stewart/Beale! [The Swamp]

• LIVE LIKE A SUICIDE: At least one U.S. index is rising — American Suicide! More people are killing themselves, especially middle-aged people. [LA Times]

• SAD NEWS: David Foster Wallace, a brilliant writer and from all reports a kind, generous, and decent person, killed himself on Friday. He recently published a standalone version of a 2000 essay about John McCain; the book is called McCain’s Promise: Aboard the Straight Talk Express with John McCain and a Whole Bunch of Actual Reporters, Thinking About Hope and here is a good interview about it. [Los Angeles Times]

Ever since the Virginia Tech shootings, college teachers have been extra vigilant about expelling creative writing students who write typical teenage loser stories about suicide and alienation. At the very least, instructors face increasing pressure to notify parents, administrators, and health officials that these lamebots with their dark gothic tales will probably not get laid until they are released from mental institutions at age 30. MORE »

Making a sadder story just a little bit sadder still, today the cops have revealed D.C. Madam Deborah Jeane Palfrey’s suicide note. Instead of blowing the lid of Dick Cheney’s particular perversions or David Vitter’s favorite style of Depends (logo of Elmo in wheelchair, masturbating), the two-page note is a heartbreakingly dull list of trivialities in grade-school girlish handwriting. MORE »

WHERE’S PALFREY’S BOX OF EVIDENCE? “On one trip down the stairs, she lugged a 2-foot-wide box she suggested carried materials related to her infamous court case. ‘This is my evidence,’ she told Strizack before carrying it out the door.” [Orlando Sentinel]