Wonkette

Have you noticed the strange phenomenon known as Wonkette commenter “Serolf Divad,” if that is his real name? Somehow — often within minutes of a new post — this shady character posts a hilarious new photoshopped image/cartoon thing in the comments, Like this one of John McCain and George W. Bush Jr. and Top Gun legend Tom Cruise, which appeared mere nanoseconds after we published the original item. So many more examples, after the jump. MORE »

Ever wondered what would happen if two attractive feminists and one corpulent Hollywood director went to a Texas gay bar to round up votes for Hillary Clinton? One brave Dallas reader went deep under cover to bring you this exclusive investigative report. All the sordid details, after the jump! MORE »

Exhausted by the Hillary-Obama race? Kind of looking forward to John McCain getting 32% of the vote in November or maybe even dropping out in summertime, giving America a welcome respite from Election 2008? Well, too bad. The Main Stream Media wants you to know that beloved Polar Bear King Albert “Al” Gore may just end up as the Democratic nominee after all, thanks to a “second ballot” at the DNC convention that could give delegates, super delegates and super villain delegates the chance to put those women and minorities back in their rightful place. [Newsweek]

Hillary Clinton will appear on Tyra Bank’s teevee show tonight, using her emotions to share with Tyra how she “felt” the time Bill got in trouble for irresponsibly placing his penis in an intern’s mouth. Tyra boldly asks Hill how she got through the thing “we all know we’re talking about here, there’s no need to explain what is,” extreme sincerity feelings flow forth in abundance. Emotionally-charged video and our astute analysis after the jump. MORE »

Among Democrats, nobody’s supposed to be campaigning in Florida on account of the Sunshine State angered the heavens by moving their primary up to January. Candidates pinky swore that they would leave it be, using the state like an ATM but not actually campaigning there. Now though, Hillary looks like she’s had a change of heart, looking to use the a Miami convention center for a forbidden rally. Now the campaigns are exchanging memos, arguing about who is doing the least in Florida as per their agreement. A debate about out who’s better at doing nothing might prove to be pretty competitive ground for a couple of Democratic senators. [Miami Herald]

Remember this wacky guy who proposed to Hillary? Well, it turns out he’s a 20-year-old nut who is also obsessed with dead Mexican singing star Selena (who got killed by a nut). [Rural Votes: The Field]

• To defend her war vote, Hillary Clinton is making shit up. [New York Times]
• Romney embraces his Michigan roots because that’s pretty much his only option. [New York Times]
• McCain has alienated some of the best members of the Republican Party. [Washington Post]
• Vegas politics are as weird as the rest of it. [Washington Post]
• The people who give Fred Thompson his money kind of think he should “do something.”[Washington Times]
• Members of Congress really like their Geocities websites. [The Hill]
• The Decider decided not to talk about democracy all that much on his trip to Israel. Go figure. [Wall Street Journal]

• Justices like killing people just they have have been, thank you very much. [New York Times]
• They can’t beat her but they’re glad that someone can. [Washington Post]
• Yes, maybe another one of your brilliant ideas is just what’s necessary to fix the mess you’ve made. [New York Times]
• Mittens may be back in this thing, y’all. [Washington Times]
• The Grand Council of Wealthy White Men will spend whatever it takes to destroy populism, where ever it rears its ugly head. [Los Angeles Times]
• In New Hampshire, Huck babbles like a crazy person. [Politico]
• Come on, who doesn’t want to set the Senate on fire? [Roll Call]

• “Aren’t there enough pro-abortion, anti-gun, open borders candidates running for president?” [Michelle Malkin]
• It took seven days to come up with this list? Really? [Right Wing News]
• Nobody likes a crybaby. [Fresh Intelligence]
• Hillary’s Obama takedown plan should work like a charm, since he’s so unpopular and everything. [MoJo]
• Your move, knucklehead. [TVNewswer]
• If only the first two primaries matter, can we just skip to the end of this already? [The Swamp]

Lowering expectations is near and dear the to the heart of every American and an act familiar to every American political leader, who must often promise far more than thay can or intend to deliver. And so, in a tradition perhaps as old as the Republic itself, the leading candidates of both parties are letting their supporters know, “Hey, I’m not going to lose tomorrow, but if I do it’s really no big deal. It’s all just part of the plan.” After all, pumping tens of millions of dollars into a single state contest and then losing to someone with no money who nobody had heard of six weeks ago, for example, isn’t embarrassing at all. [Detroit Free Press, The Note]