• Fancy newspaper columnist Edmund Andrews wrote a book about why you should buy his book so the proceeds of his book can go to paying off his subprime mortgage. AIG gave it a AAA rating, which is why the entire universe has already pre-ordered on Amazon. [Matt Taibbi]
• Back when Money Czar Henry Paulson ran things, you weren’t allowed to leave a “working dinner” until you finished the box of Franzia Merlot that was duct-taped to your stomach. And then there was Timmy Geithner, the prude. [Politico]
• Barack Obama has a secret caging list he keeps on his BlackBerry, which is used to disenfranchise Dodge Durangos and other Chrysler products. [RedState]
• A pharmaceutical company has fulfilled an ancient Aztec prophesy — and a more recent Bill Kristol prediction — by tragically “sterilizing” marijuana in the form of a not-cool oral spray. [Slate]
• John Yoo, the microphallus who wrote Abu Ghraib fan fiction for the Bush Administration, has mercilessly broadsided Sonia-Maria Sotomayor with his creative grammar: “credentials do not an excellent justice make.” You should be expecting that royalty check in the mail any day now, Yoda. [The Enterprise Blog]

So, we’re coming up on Christmas (and Chanukkah, Kwanzaa and Festivus) and everyone, it seems, is losing their houses and in debt up to their eyeballs but the Presidential candidates (and the President, and some governors) have plans, man! Of course, only people that are actually, like, in office can do anything about this (or the next) holiday season, but they’d like you to feel warm and fuzzy anyway. The details, after the jump.

MORE »