Wonkette

Here’s your Barack Obama, exiting his limo at Dulles today, and looking a little too sharp and stylish for a president. Who does he think he is, George Clooney? Everybody knows that presidents need to be very decrepit and scary, or dumb clowns, or fat embarrassments, or bitter old ladies. [AP Photo]

New Washington Times editor John Solomon was brought in recently to legitimize the paper’s operations and bring back the cutting journalism of its Golden Days. This should be a very, very easy task. Solomon got off to a good start yesterday when the paper reported that the military-industrial complex is worried about Obama’s inexperience at declaring wars. We hope these brilliant investigate reports continue, for America’s safety. On a more symbolic level, however, Solomon has changed aspects of the Times‘ style guide to reflect modern society’s general dislike of racism, sexism and homophobia. How soft have these Moonies gone? MORE »

Breaking: Washingtonians dress very conservatively! But a radical new group of kuh-razee lady-congresspeople are revolutionizing all that by dressing very slightly less conservatively! MORE »

* The mumbled threats and nonsensical ramblings of crackhead love. [vividblurry] MORE »

How you like that? We show a bunch of smarmy New Yorkers nothing but hospitality, and how do they repay us? By running three smarmy pieces about how lame our big party was on Saturday in their smarmiest and most financially unstable paper. Sure, we love the attention, but the Observer seems to be acting all superior to us just because they’re skinnier and dress better.

First off, Chris Lehmann’s review of the Prom reception, dinner, and afterparty. We remember him skulking around Bloomberg — seemed like a shifty and untrustworthy sort. But this anecdote rings true to us:

The day’s festivities stretched all the way back to noon, with the kickoff brunch hosted by MSNBC producer Tammy Haddad. The defining moment of that event was the arrival of former Niger Ambassador Joe Wilson, husband of C.I.A. officer Valerie Plame. He walked up Ms. Haddad’s slate sidewalk in D.C.’s swank Palisades neighborhood; he sported a Palm Beach-style untucked Hawaiian shirt and brandished a cigar. He approached the tent where D.C.’s various media personages, pols and celebrity-esque hangers-on congregated.

Mr. Wilson took a quick, disenchanted look at his lit stogie and tossed it into Ms. Haddad’s flowerbed.

It wasn’t a gesture of confrontation so much as simple ambient sourness. But it served as another signature moment, six years into a flailing Bush Presidency, where the Washington zeitgeist might best be summed up in two words: “Fuck it.”

Hell, we’ll agree with that. We’re pretty sure the only person in Washington who still likes their job is Patrick Fitzgerald.

After the jump, the assault continues with a knock on our style and a trip to an Adams-Morgan Young Republican party.

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Yesterday, Washington Post Fashion writer Robin Givhan won a Pulitzer prize for criticism. She received the news in the Post’s newsroom in Washington, D.C., wearing a sensible Ivory-colored sweater that represented a consolation of sorts to the purposefully unflashy style of her Beltway-locked coworkers (Ms. Givhan lives and works from New York). On her left hand, riding astride her middle finger, was a magniloquent amber ring, a hint of Uptown frission and a protective barrier — intentional or no — against the dowdification (though not necessarily Dowd-ification) of a DC newsroom. MORE »

* It’s not her fault, there’s really no predicting what you’ll say after you get hit with a tazer. ZAP! “I’m Rick James bitch!” [Shreveport Times] MORE »

Everyone bitches and moans about how “no one votes” or “Americans don’t care about politics” or “apathy blah blah blah” but when we try to inject a little bit of excitement and passion into the electoral process, we get called out for being “shallow” or “meanspirited” or something, we don’t know, we’re not really paying attention. But FoxNews has accused us of “maligning” the appearance of one Katherine Harris — ok, how wrong is that? If there’s one politician whose appearance we’re celebrating — not maligning — it’s Katherine Harris. We wish everyone else in the House looked like her! Then, not two grafs later, they turn around and bring in the “consultant”:

“It’s a detraction from her desired outcome. The focus should be on her commitment and appropriateness to the position,” said Gloria Starr, an image consultant whose client list includes pop group Destiny’s Child and former Canadian Prime Minister Brian Mulroney.

After being a shown a series of recent campaign photographs in which Harris is heavily made up and wearing tight-fitting pants and tops, Starr expressed surprise that Harris was running on a conservative Christian Republican platform.

“The last thing a woman needs is to have a man looking at her breasts instead of her face,” Starr said. “At best she’s got a mixed brand. At worst she’s knocked herself out of the game.

“I would absolutely love to work with this woman,” Starr added.

First note: Canadian readers — was Mulroney a little… you know? ‘Cause bringing in Beyonce’s stylist is the kinda shit that wouldn’t fly in 35-48 of our “states.” MORE »