When we were but a young Wonket, we loved our G.I. Joe’s. Pew, pew, pew!, we said to our Joes, along with eeeeeOOOWWW! and sch-BOOOM! when appropriate. Back then, we had to use Cobra Commander as the fill-in for all of America’s enemies, but had we been born a decade later, and had the CIA […]

Libertarian annoyance Neal Boortz, filling in as host of the Herman Cain radio show (which is an actual thing), added his fair-taxed two cents to the Great Santa Is White Stupid Foofaraw of 2013 Monday, explaining that 1) Santa is, yes, a white Caucasian European-American honky, and 2) Because shut up, he just is, all […]

You might think that by now, we were no longer capable of being surprised by Phyllis Schlafly and the merry band of rightwing loonies in her orbit. And for the most part, you’d be right — we’re no longer shocked by much of anything these twits say, because like Taco Bell, they’re in the business […]

Oh hell yes. Coyote-shootin’, painkiller-gobblin’, can’t remember three things in a row master debater with the super awesome hair Governor from Texas Rick Perry emerged from his closet today to beg for Obamacare money because of how much he hates Obamacare money. But, hey man, a hundred million dollars is a hundred million dollars and […]

What is wrong with Barack Obama campaign manager Jim Messina, that he thinks Latinos are all about chimichangas? Latinos are all about TACOS, you moron. How racially insensitive can this guy possibly be? Let’s check Messina’s original comment for further outrage!

OH COME ON, as though somehow there are people out there who don’t love Truck Nutz? Judging by the number of people who sent us this tip, absolutely NO ONE in all of space/time except a humorless douchebag police officer who issued a $445 ticket to a 65-year-old woman for putting giant red balls on […]

Apparently the Israeli “Internet Mossad” garnished a computer virus with fun Bible passages, and then sent Iran a misleading p0rno link, on AOL Instant Messenger. And Iran clicky clicked, suckas! But also referencing the Old Testament in a computer virus is sort of lame and melodramatic? Deep inside the computer worm that some specialists suspect […]

Okay thanks a lot to Wonkette Operative “Phil” for sending this with the subject line, “OBAMA DOG SEX TAPE??!” This is the official Monday Night Open Thread, go nuts!

Before the dawn of the Internet, people used to waste time the old-fashioned way: by playing solitaire on their shitty Windows 3.1 machines. Then Doom and Quake and The Sims and Spore came along, and time-wasting evolved into a very sophisticated and complicated activity that required thousands of dollars of expensive electronics to perform correctly. […]

It’s hard to imagine the primitive world of, say, 2000, when we didn’t have “smart phones” with web browsers and breaking news updates from CNN about a motherfucking horse in a ditch somewhere. Besides, Fox News broke this breaking story a year and a half ago. Fuck you, CNN Mobile. (Thanks, “Zach E.,” for sharing.)

JOHN MCCAIN  3:56 pm June 5, 2008

by Jim Newell

BREAKING: Kos isn’t funny. [Daily Kos]