Wonkette

It’s hard to imagine the primitive world of, say, 2000, when we didn’t have “smart phones” with web browsers and breaking news updates from CNN about a motherfucking horse in a ditch somewhere. Besides, Fox News broke this breaking story a year and a half ago. Fuck you, CNN Mobile. (Thanks, “Zach E.,” for sharing.)

BREAKING: Kos isn’t funny. [Daily Kos]

There is a war on — a war for the hearts and minds of Americans. Newsweek is constantly protecting innocent Americans from the stories they can’t handle. Is the world melting? Did the White House betray a deal with North Korea? Did we lose that war in Afghanistan, too? That’s for Newsweek’s international readers to know and for you to not find out. Sorry, dummies! MORE »

Once again, Newsweek’s U.S. editors have chosen a stupid cover for Americans while filling all three international editions with interesting, in-depth articles about disturbing topics Americans should know.

Last time — just three weeks ago — the international editions’ cover story was “Losing Afghanistan.” The U.S. dummies got a cover story about a lesbian who takes pictures of celebrities.

It’s even worse this time around. More after the jump. Or, for U.S. readers: CLICK THESE RED WORDS! CLICK THEM WITH MOUSE, CLICK CLICK, BUY SPORTS DRINK & SNICKERS!

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