Tag: stupid

Gary Larson did it better. But Trump IS a vulture...

Donald Trump Just Wondering If Hillary Is A Muslim Or What. You Know, Like Her Girlfriend Maybe.

Donald Trump is questioning Hillary Clinton's faith. And her commitment to Sparkle Motion.

The Snake Oil Bulletin: Maybe A Dolphin Ate Your Baby

Greetings, friends! It's time once again for the Snake Oil Bulletin, a most special feature on this most special of mommyblogs. Today we're going to delve into the many ways mommies are mommying this world to make the world mommier...
How will people fear radical Islam if we don't make up some fake bomb plots?

Georgia Patriot Plants Fake ‘Muslim’ Bomb To Warn World Of Muslim Threat

A Georgia wingnut has confessed to planting a backpack containing two partially completed pipe bombs in a public park last November, but he had an excellent reason: to raise awareness of the threat of radical Islam. Michael Sibley, 67,...
Don't mind me, I'm just being a complete asshole.

Read Sam Brownback’s Lips: Whoops, We Raised Kansas’s Taxes

The last redoubt of conservative economists has always been the complaint that their radical, free-market ideas have never been tried before. If conservative ideas have never been put to the test, the argument goes, then how can you say...
The politically correct war on dorks continues

Derp Roundup: Science Man Wears Tacky Sexist Shirt, Twitter Has Thoughts

Welcome to Derp Update, your occasional feature where we purge our browsers of stories that didn't quite merit a whole post, but were too remarkably stupid to ignore altogether. Fear that your brain cells may be harmed by exposure...
Sure he's a jerk. And he's dead on this time.

Bill Maher Right About A Thing

Bill Maher can really be a self-important, sanctimonious asshole at times. Thankfully, this is not one of them. On Real Time this week, Maher laid into all the Democrats who have been running as if Barack Obama were the...

Melt Bin Laden’s Face Off With This Awesome Doll The CIA Didn’t Make!

When we were but a young Wonket, we loved our G.I. Joe's. Pew, pew, pew!, we said to our Joes, along with eeeeeOOOWWW! and sch-BOOOM! when appropriate. Back then, we had to use Cobra Commander as the fill-in for...

Radio Wingnut Neal Boortz Dreaming Of A White MLK

Libertarian annoyance Neal Boortz, filling in as host of the Herman Cain radio show (which is an actual thing), added his fair-taxed two cents to the Great Santa Is White Stupid Foofaraw of 2013 Monday, explaining that 1) Santa...

Phyllis Schlafly & ‘Obama’s Army Of Blacks’ Guy: Liberals Giving Your Kids To Teh Gheys As Sex Toys

You might think that by now, we were no longer capable of being surprised by Phyllis Schlafly and the merry band of rightwing loonies in her orbit. And for the most part, you'd be right -- we're no longer...

Dumb Texas Governor Rick Perry Hates Obamacare, Would Like Some Obamacare Please

Oh hell yes. Coyote-shootin', painkiller-gobblin', can't remember three things in a row master debater with the super awesome hair Governor from Texas Rick Perry emerged from his closet today to beg for Obamacare money because of how much he...

Republicans Just So Sick of Obama Campaign’s Racism Against Latinos

What is wrong with Barack Obama campaign manager Jim Messina, that he thinks Latinos are all about chimichangas? Latinos are all about TACOS, you moron. How racially insensitive can this guy possibly be? Let's check Messina's original comment for...

South Carolina Launches All-Out Assault on Truck Nutz

OH COME ON, as though somehow there are people out there who don't love Truck Nutz? Judging by the number of people who sent us this tip, absolutely NO ONE in all of space/time except a humorless douchebag police...

Jews Did the Computer Worm

Apparently the Israeli "Internet Mossad" garnished a computer virus with fun Bible passages, and then sent Iran a misleading p0rno link, on AOL Instant Messenger. And Iran clicky clicked, suckas! But also referencing the Old Testament in a computer...

Wait, Is This Even Barack Hussein’s Water Dog?

Okay thanks a lot to Wonkette Operative "Phil" for sending this with the subject line, "OBAMA DOG SEX TAPE??!" This is the official Monday Night Open Thread, go nuts!

A Children’s Treasury Of Shoe-Throwing Games

Before the dawn of the Internet, people used to waste time the old-fashioned way: by playing solitaire on their shitty Windows 3.1 machines. Then Doom and Quake and The Sims and Spore came along, and time-wasting evolved into a...

How Did We Exist Without CNN Mobile?

It's hard to imagine the primitive world of, say, 2000, when we didn't have "smart phones" with web browsers and breaking news updates from CNN about a motherfucking horse in a ditch somewhere. Besides, Fox News broke this breaking...