Downtrodden Americans have little to cheer them in this new Depression, but we still enjoy what simple pleasures we can: a piping-hot bowl of rock-and-lettuce soup at the end of a long day; the sweet sound of a grown man suckling at a woman’s breast in a barn; and of course our beloved Truck Nutz. Now a godless South Carolinian town — the birthplace of America’s greatest hero, Strom Thurmond — is trying to fine citizens for displaying their beloved Nutz. MORE »

Famous racist Trent Lott is, more or less, a god. He may not be a senator anymore, and he may not like black people — I mean, HE REALLY HATES THEM! — but he definitely was, you know, a legislator for many years. To honor his legacy, various county chambers of commerce in Mississippi are honoring him today with “Trent Lott Appreciation Day.” Hooray! MORE »

Strom Thurmond’s wife sexily undoing another man’s tie so that they can “party.” Just in case, you know, you had any sort of sex drive left. Maybe tomorrow someone can share a story of a three-way involving Truman and Robert Byrd! [Quick Study via Andrew Sullivan]

MORE »

Once again demonstrating that everything fucked up about race relations in this country can be traced back to Strom Thurmond, the New York Daily News announced this weekend that one of Al Sharpton’s ancestors was once owned by one of Thurmond’s ancestors. MORE »

Not even God loves Republicans these days: Tim Johnson has apparently recovered from his horrible ordeal. The South Dakota Democrat whose brain went screwy this week is now “responsive,” which is way more than you can say for Strom Thurmond’s last 20 years in the Senate. MORE »

* “Hundreds” of journalists from “top papers” happy to forsake journalism to begin capricious motherfucker apprenticeship with Bob Woodward. [Boston Herald]
* Tim Johnson to steal from Strom Thurmond’s playbook and have, “epoxy and polyurethane to prevent his skin from drooping off his skull ,” before allowing a Republican replacement. [Rude Pundit]
* A couple years of governing Massachusetts has made Mitt Romney hate the gays. Actually, just being Mitt Romney has made Mitt Romney hate the gays. [Andrew Sullivan]
* Budding online romance sends Malkin to Iraq., finally [Michelle Malkin]
* Democrats use powerful new media tools to strong political advantage. [Democrats.org]
* Louisiana banker tries sneaky The Price Is Right bidding technique to land a dinner date with Katrina fuck-up Kathleen Blanco for only $1. [AP]

In today’s “Heard on the Hill,” thrill to the terrifying tale of one Mississippi woman’s doomed correspondence with Senator Chuck Schumer, He-Who-Legislates-With-Ghosts! MORE »

• CBS News reports, “George Bush spends 58% of US Budget on Whiskey and some Bling for his hommies.” [CBS News]

• Proving that August has been “racism month” in politics for decades, it was this day in 1957 that Strom Thurmond ended his 24 hour filibuster of the civil rights bill. [This Day In Mythstory]
• US uses foreign aid as bribe money to countries on the UN Security Council in exchange for pro-war votes, probably. Maybe. Possibly. [Freakonomics]
• Cenus report on poverty and income released today, but administration doesn’t want you to know that everyone is poorer, unless they’re not. [The Carpetbagger Report]
• McCain bored of dry-humping Bush, headed to South Carolina to make love, sweet love. [Pandagon]
• Now you know about secret holds, and knowing is half the battle. [TPMmuckraker]

“I Want These Motherfucking Interns Off This Motherfucking Elevator!” (NYT) MORE »

It’s hot, and our building’s AC is down for the day. So we’re kind of miserable. But we take solace in the fact that we don’t have to lead tours of the Capitol. Some folks aren’t that lucky. One of those unlucky folks is (or was) our very own Anonymous Hill Staffer, who’s checking in today with another installment in his glorious Quixotic quest to answer every single question about working on the Hill ever.

After the jump, ageism, mostly, with a dash of racism and a the usual smattering of nepotism.

MORE »