Well, who knew. We thought that spies spent all their time smuggling secret messages in their butts and wearing goofy disguises, but it appears they also devote many hours of their workday to supporting their mistresses and date-raping Algerians. MORE »

Are you ready for the 2010 midterm election? No? Well too bad, because the campaign began on Nov. 5 of last year, and by the end of this summer you’ll probably hear about nothing else, so let’s start the Wonkette coverage with a nice story about this porn-star/stripper lady in Louisiana, and how she will maybe run against national embarrassment David Vitter, the hooker-lovin’ diaperman of the Senate. MORE »

MATT DRUDGE GAY STRIPPER CHAKA KHAN OUTRAGE: When Drudge was growing up in Maryland, he was friends with a dude who later became a college professor in Washington and then a gay stripper, and has now written a book, which mentions how Drudge totally loved Chaka Khan back in the day. [Gawker]

America’s most fun mayor, Detroit’s Kwame Kilpatrick, continues to become a better and better role model — some say the best since Eminem. Wait, who? Oh yes, Detroit and its mayor, who recently was caught for sending sexy sex text messages with his chief of staff, for sex. And now, the Michigan attorney general’s office says it will launch a probe into claims that Kilpatrick “threw a party with strippers at the mayor’s mansion in 2002.” Lady strippers. [AP/NYT]

Ha ha, have you ever heard anyone compare a Congressman or Senator to a sex worker? Because they will apparently do anything for money, you see! Oh, what a delightfully raunchy barb. But the Foreigns, as usual, do us one better. You see, in several Foreign countries, actual sex workers — including strippers and prostitutes — get themselves elected to political office! And, um, people who play strippers in movies, and speaking of movies, we have video, after the jump! MORE »

From the way former Congressman John Sweeney can’t stay out of the long, masculine arms of the upstate New York law, you’d think he liked police stations as much as he likes: drinking; drinking and driving; slapping his wife around while drinking; getting road head while drunk; and drinking. The other night Sweeney, who lost his license in November after his little drunken road head incident, called a cab to be taken home from a strip club in Clifton Park. That’s when things got a little bit messy.

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As of January 1, 2008, it will get a little more expensive in Texas to go to one of the state’s 150 strip clubs. As of 2008, every person patronizing a strip club will have to pay a $5 tax at the entrance, most of which will go to programs to help rape victims. Some club owners, naturally, are suing to prevent the tax from taking effect claiming that the selective taxation is a violation of their First Amendment rights and some of them “resent the implication that strip clubs lead men to commit sex crimes. Yeah, there’s definitely no correlation whatsoever between the relentless objectification of women in our society and sex crimes. [Yahoo News, Sex Roles: A Journal of Research]

Strippers love Ron Paul. [NB: Link does not feature pictures of strippers] [GordonUnleashed]

Dick Polman’s Philly Inquirer analysis of McCain’s 08 campaign can be summed up thusly: Man, John McCain, you used to be cool. You used to be all about the music. But you’ve changed, buddy. You sold out. MORE »

“Government official caught breaking law” is not the rarest of headlines, but today’s taxpayer-funded crook should at least get a few points for ostentatious style. The AP reports:

WASHINGTON - A State Department official accepted free flights to Las Vegas with exotic dancers, expensive meals, hotel rooms in New York and other bribes to speed up the visa process for a jewelry company, federal prosecutors said Friday.

But the best part is that Michael John O’Keefe was flown to Vegas with “two exotic dancers,” federal prosecutors said. MORE »

• It doesn’t take much to run for city council in DC, but you do have to show up. [DCDL]

• Home is where the heart is - unless the heart is in a shit hole that resembles Bushwick during the crack wars. [And I Am Not Lying, For Real]
• Luckily the champagne room in White House sub-basement number 69 has just been completed. [Hey Pretty]
• Linda Cropp decides the hiring of homeless people isn’t just for booze-crazed high school kids. [WTOP]