John McCain’s Top 5 Winning Campaign Strategies Revealed!
Friday, May 9th, 2008
The presumptive Republican presidential nominee may not have the money, star power, or party affiliation of his opponent, but that doesn’t mean he won’t win the presidency this November! He just needs to spend his wooden nickels wisely and hope that Candidate Obama has 50 more scary preachers where the first lunatic came from. Other supersecret campaign techniques after the jump. MORE »
The presumptive Republican presidential nominee may not have the money, star power, or party affiliation of his opponent, but that doesn’t mean he won’t win the presidency this November! He just needs to spend his wooden nickels wisely and hope that Candidate Obama has 50 more scary preachers where the first lunatic came from. Other supersecret campaign techniques after the jump. MORE »
Even though she cannot win the Democratic presidential nomination by any definable numerical metric such as the popular vote, number of pledged delegates, states won, or amount of money raised, Hillary Clinton will prevail over Elitist Maths and Barack Obama. This is because every time she loses, she wins by saying that losers have to “fight on.” And every time she wins, she also wins. So she will lose all the way to the Presidency, unless she wins all the way to the Presidency, and either way it doesn’t matter because Big Oil will be paying our gasoline taxes and Rocky Balboa will be the Secretary of the Second Amendment. [