Tag Archives: strategery

  that's not funny

GOP’s Hot New Strategy: Romney Is Boring And Sour And Full Of Malaise! (VIDEO!)

An odd thing happened yesterday, once all the olds woke up at 5 a.m. and saw the clip of President Barack Obama slow-jamming the news with Jimmy Fallon on their computers, instead of on the television as God and NBC intended. Democrats found it delightful and funny, and Republicans didn’t! That’s so weird, you guys! So the RNC figured it would take John McCain’s winning tactic of portraying Obama as a goldanged celebrity, and they would run with that. And so they put together an ad, in their ad-putting-together shop, juxtaposing BO’s baritone and sexy backup music by The Roots and Jimmy Fallon calling him “Preezy of the United Steezy” (COMMON JAZZ TALK!) with Mitt Romney talking about how Americans are tired and sad. Good plan you guys, let’s see how it plays! Read more on GOP’s Hot New Strategy: Romney Is Boring And Sour And Full Of Malaise! (VIDEO!)…
  flotus files

Michelle Obama Puts Kitchen Staff On Crash Diet

By now, we are all aware of Michelle Obama’s “Let’s Move!” initiative, the thing where government officials sneak into your children’s bedrooms in the middle of the night and steal the donuts from under their pillows, leaving behind a combination of debt and misery. But what we didn’t know about was our FLOTUS’ top secret weight loss death camp that she has been running inside her own home: “Four members of the White House residence staff…have lost more than 110 pounds since July 2010.” It’s all part of her master plan: brainwash the kitchen staff and the rest will follow. Sasha and Malia, eat your Halloween candy while you still can! Read more on Michelle Obama Puts Kitchen Staff On Crash Diet…
  strategery

Republicans Will Win America’s Hearts By Taking Their Health Insurance Away

Roger Ebert, the Internet’s most prolific writer (and also a famous film critic), typed this succinct & damning Twitter reply to Mark Kirk’s brave election-winning plan to bring back insurance bans on Americans with “pre-existing conditions.” [Ebert via Daily Kos] Read more on Republicans Will Win America’s Hearts By Taking Their Health Insurance Away…
  awesome twosome

McCain-Lieberman Ticket Could Be Saltiest, Crustiest Combo Since Kettle Chips

Who would make the most terrible running mate for John McCain, an ill-tempered old fraud who is despised by everybody in the Republican Party? Joe Lieberman, of course — another sour old geezer who is despised by everybody in the Democratic Party! It’s a match made in heaven … and here’s why! Read more on McCain-Lieberman Ticket Could Be Saltiest, Crustiest Combo Since Kettle Chips…