December 8, 2013
It is time to enjoy this fantastic “Rick Perry Rap” performance made by a couple of humans (?) in Austin. And, for once, we really have nothing more to say on the subject.
Our modern-day Bill Clinton — you know, because Democrats + Boners + Twitter = Modern Day Bill Clinton — is giving a press conference now, about his weiner. He tearfully acknowledges that he maybe took pictures of his groin, with his iPhone or whatever, and sent them to a lady. And now he must resign [...]
Oh look, one of those basic cable reality-teevee families is getting another reality show. And we are posting it, because that is apparently what we do here, which is yet another reason why we are all washing our hands of this daily deluge of mental sewage and walking away, with a smile of relief on [...]
Oh for fuck’s sake, we cannot deal with this, at this hour. TIME Magazine just sent us this press release, about some “gala” in New York that just ended, and …. No, we can’t. We don’t want to. It is sickening when a bunch of alleged ideological enemies gather to toast each other in some [...]
DON’T LET ANYBODY KNOW but somehow we got the “embargoed remarks” from some guy, with his opinion of the speech that Obama will give in a few hours. But remember, it’s embargoed, so DO NOT TELL ANYONE! Super important! It’s like a trade embargo or something, but on somebody’s own words which they have just [...]
How many days until Christmas? Just 358 days! Oh man, next Xmas is gonna punish, especially if we get Mike Huckabee’s dream gift, which is a box of 1,000 copies of his Xmas book, signed by Jesus and pooped out by reindeer over Iowa. Thanks to “Kevin H.” for the funny bookstore picture.
Every campaign season in our increasingly retarded nation, potential voters are presented with many important survey and poll battles such as “What celebrity of the moment is better/worse than a completely unrelated government official?” For example: This person Lady Gaga, who seems to be mentioned a lot more than actually heard, could she defeat San [...]
Oh look, Michelle Obama sent us like seven emails, all with the same request: Let poor little rich boy Barack Obama finally have a happy birthday! How do you do this? Just click the link for a NO OBLIGATION chance to sign a pledge to charge your credit card more money so that Democrats can [...]
Remember this guy, Dale Peterson, with his dumb horse and dumb gun and whatever? Well, he lost. But like every other tween-aged girl on YouTube, this fool equates national derision with sudden local importance. We were laughing at you, Dale. Go ahead and dream of shootin’ people for taking campaign signs promoting the guy who [...]
Representatives Anthony Weiner (D-Brooklyn) and Jason Chaffetz (R-Utah) finally found cross-party cooperation in the supple mouths of these goats. It was a dumb stunt to promote …. eh, who cares? Both men got off and then the goats were slaughtered in a VooDoo Ritual, the end. Just kidding! One of the goats actually attacked Weiner [...]
Thanks, six-hundred-and-forty-four readers who sent links to the wacky new novelty item, “Truck Nutz things for your iPhone.” Thanks! Got it! Oh, you wanted us to post this? Why, exactly? Was it supposed to be funny?
GO BACK TO YOUR WHORES: Oh look, Eliot Spitzer is apparently still writing his awful column for Slate: “After reading the Gettysburg Address, does the idea of a carbon tax to finally move us away from an oil and old-energy dependence that is fouling not only the Gulf of Mexico but our entire climate, foreign [...]
One of the most self-defeating fetishes of the modern-day right-wing pundit is assembling “evidence” that some kind of popular entertainment product is actually conservative — because these tunnel-vision wingnuts really do look at the Entire World this way, as some contest between political parties. (“Chicken Run/Wall-E is socialist claptrap, while Avatar/Lindsey Lohan exemplifies the right’s [...]