Illuminati World Bank Cuts Rates, Stocks Tank
Wednesday, October 8th, 2008
All the world’s great bankers — the Illuminati, Bilderberg Group, Rothchilds and the Trilateral Commission — put on their black robes and met in secret last night, under the Great Pyramids, to try to save their holdings, and maybe help the Global Economy. So all the rich world’s central banks launched a coordinated interest-rate cut this morning. You can probably guess how the markets reacted. MORE »
All the world’s great bankers — the Illuminati, Bilderberg Group, Rothchilds and the Trilateral Commission — put on their black robes and met in secret last night, under the Great Pyramids, to try to save their holdings, and maybe help the Global Economy. So all the rich world’s central banks launched a coordinated interest-rate cut this morning. You can probably guess how the markets reacted. MORE »
Well here is your updated Dow Jones thing, about which every “person on the Internet” today has been freaking. It 
This recession scare, it’s real. Too real! The Federal Reserve, much to Ron Paul’s dismay, lowered the fed funds rate by 3/4 of a percentage point today to stave off a, hrm, bank panic of neo-Victorian proportion! 
Thanks to Martin Luther King Jr.’s stand for economic justice and his resulting assassination which provided U.S. markets with a holiday from the global economic collapse, Wall Street didn’t get hit again until this morning. And by “Wall Street,” we mean your 401k, 403b, IRA, access to basic business or consumer credit, income, value of your house, and value of your young children’s labor (selling apples down on Main Street by the Starbucks soup kitchen). But don’t worry, because Ben Bernanke and his Federal Reserve superheroes just did an emergency interest rate cut. Head over to the PayDay Loan joint and pick up a case of Cristal! 
Sad conservatives who pray every day for a terrible new 9/11-style attack on a big American city full of ethnics and gays sort of got their wish today, at least in a financial sense. The Federal Reserve has made three massive cash infusions in an attempt to stop the horrible August collapse that has already shaved some 800 points off the Dow Jones Industrial Average along with trillions of dollars of corporate and individual wealth. But the market keeps going south as one major lender after another announces that they’re broke because all their rotten mortgages are failing. 