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Posts Tagged ‘stock market’

THERE'S STILL TIME!

Famous Failure To Run George W. Bush’s Think Tank

Friday, September 4th, 2009

The year was 1999...“WASHINGTON – Former President George W. Bush took a step closer Thursday to establishing an ‘action-oriented think tank’ alongside his future presidential library by naming James K. Glassman, the longtime journalist and former administration official, as its founding executive director.” This post is complete. [NYT via Matt Yglesias]


OUR FLOURISHING ECONOMY

Thursday, August 20th, 2009

IT’S LIKE A RECOVERY, BUT WITH NO EQUITY, SAVINGS, CONSUMER SPENDING, JOBS, RETIREMENT ACCOUNTS, INNOVATION, STRONG CURRENCY, AFFORDABLE HEALTH CARE, BASIC SHELTER, OR LONG-TERM PROSPECTS FOR A COMPETITIVE MODERN ECONOMY: “The housing market continues to threaten signs of an economic recovery, with new data released on Thursday showing an all-time high of Americans falling behind on loan payments and the rate of home foreclosures unlikely to peak until late in 2010.” But the stock markets are up! Everyone in America owns bundles of good stocks, right? Right?? [The Hill]


OUR FLOURISHING ECONOMY

Tuesday, March 10th, 2009
  • LOOK AMERICA, WE GAVE CITIBANK A PROFIT! It’s sexytime on Wall Street today, and around the world! That’s right, a Global Stock Rally. Citigroup jumped a whole 30 percent and is now worth 1.3 shits. You know why? Because they announced that they’re having the best profit outlook for any quarter in years! HMM… we have a sinking suspicion that some fuddledeedum went into that balance sheet, but meh, everyone’s rich again. BUY A HOUSE. [Bloomberg]

OUR FLOURISHING ECONOMY

Your Dow Jones Falls Many Points After Investors Discover Some ‘Recession’ Thing

Monday, December 1st, 2008

The Dow Jones fell 679 points today, since it’s been a full six days since Paulson last introduced a new multi-hundred billion dollar loan or loan guarantee program, and everyone on Wall Street is a child: “The day’s news reminded investors, who last week were buying on a burst of optimism, that the economy is still in serious trouble. And at midday, Wall Street had confirmation of what everyone has suspected for months, that the nation is indeed in a recession.” They just wanted to be sure, for the 80th time, that the economy was indeed contracting, and then it was SELL SELL SELL. MORE »


YOUR ASSETS

Friday, October 10th, 2008
  • GEORGE W. BUSH SAVES STOCK MARKET: The Dow only dropped 128 points today, which is the New Great Depression equivalent of rising 250 trillion points. Credit is still completely inaccessible, permanently, but what the hell do you people want anyway. [AP]

SO LONG WEALTH!

Watching The Dow Free-Fall Is Too Much Fun

Thursday, October 9th, 2008

Dudes, our noses are bleeding and the sky is on fire because GOOD LORD, refreshing the Dow every four seconds as it’s free-falling is like SMOKING CRACK. This is astonishing. Whoa! There go another 30 points! HA HA HA HA HA WHEEE. [Yahoo! Finance]


MONEY

Markets Continue Their Death Rattle

Tuesday, March 13th, 2007

stocks.jpgStocks plummeted today? Dick Cheney must’ve survived something again. MORE »


WASHINGTON POST

WP Not Sure How Much You Should be Panicking Right Now

Thursday, March 1st, 2007

Pills and DNA will rally the market! - WonketteIt’s nice of the Washington Post to, directly under their article insisting that Fed chief Ben Bernanke calmed Wall Street (subhead: “Bernanke Upbeat As Stocks Rebound”), link to the Milbank column that points out how Ben Bernanke didn’t really say much of anything. Saves us the trouble. MORE »


DICK CHENEY

Black Tuesday to Ensure Third Bush Term

Tuesday, February 27th, 2007

Escape_from_New_York_menu.gifThe stock market withered and died today after news of Dick Cheney’s survival at the hands of a suicide bomber. This prompts Hotline to ask:

What happens to the presidential race if there’s a recession?

The answer is complicated.

MORE »