• FOR THE 70TH TIME: “The House of Representatives today passed a massive fiscal stimulus bill aimed at resuscitating the U.S. economy, approving it on a largely party-line vote of 246 to 183.” Nancy Pelosi thought she might get some Republican votes this time around, but no. Zero. Rush would’ve made fun of them. [WP]

Bradley Dayspring, remember this guy? Just a few short days ago Eric Cantor’s spokesman was personally writing, producing, directing, acting in, and distributing a propaganda film about AFSCME that featured Jimmy Hoffa extorting money from children so that he could put more dollars in the swear-word jar. Well, Dayspring has reclaimed the moral high ground, boy howdy! He is outraged about a common mathematical practice called “rounding,” which is depriving people of jobs in Wyoming. MORE »

Hey it’s Abraham Lincoln’s birthday on Thursday, so Barack Obama is giving a commemorative primetime news conference right now! (He would do it on Thursday, but that would preempt Survivor. It’s never too early to ruin one’s reelection chances.) Here’s Ken’s “pre-game blog,” but now let’s see what the man himself has to say. Will he promise us all gold, like Ron Paul did? MORE »

We have received another sexy stimulus party report, this time from elitist operative “Eric.” He tells us that he drank imported beer, because he doesn’t like Bud Light (take that, Cindy McCain), that his girlfriend is kind of a pain in the ass, and that he has a job for now. In other words, we have no idea whether he went to a stimulus party or not; we get a lot of e-mails from drunk lunatics for no reason after all. MORE »

Orange Florida Governor Charlie Crist is still so mad at John McCain & The Republicans for making him get engaged, to a woman, and then denying him the vice presidential nomination, that he will host a town hall with Barack Obama tomorrow in Fort Myers, Florida, to discuss the stimulus package. It is the cattiest step Crist has taken to hurt his party since before the election, when he extended early voting hours so that the blacks could all finish ACORNing their savior to the presidency, and before that, when he stopped Big Money Business from completely demolishing the Everglades. MORE »

It’s hard to describe the hilarity of what David Vitter argued today in opposition to the stimulus package. If you enjoy his flatter-version-of-Al-Gore voice, feel free to watch all five minutes, but here’s the key line: “And so my amendment is very plain and very simple: it says no money in the stimulus bill can go to, will go to, under any circumstances, ACORN.” ECONOMY = FIXED. [YouTube]

Here’s a clip from the popular Hardball “Sideshow” segment — the part that covers the exact same stuff as the rest of the show but is tagged, arbitrarily, as being super wacky! — in which Lindsey Graham gets really gay about The Stimulus Package, because it doesn’t give Mother any funds with which to buy him a pony. Barbara Boxer shouts “GEORGE BUSH” just to shut him up, and Graham laments that no one ever buys him nice things. [YouTube]

• REID HAS ENOUGH VOTES FOR MONEY PACKAGE: Harry Reid claims that he has enough votes to pass the stimulus package tonight, so some stuff will probably be “scrubbed.” Nevertheless, Reid is saying insane things, because he likes to do that: “They cannot hold the president of the United States hostage.” Who, like the terrorists? Good heavens! Wait, weren’t we talking about construction jobs or some shit? [Bloomberg, CNN]

Barry. Enough of this. “The time for talk is over.” Well, then stop talking. Let Susan Collins and Ben Nelson and Jim Webb etc. have their $80-$100 billion in cuts, and pass the thing with 65 votes (MODEST UPDATE: or don’t, but explain!) And fire Harry Reid. These “we need to stop bickering and act now” speeches are irritating, nasty, and condescending. But you still look good in a suit! [YouTube, TPMDC]

• $$$$$$$$$$$$$$$: The House passed The Stimulus Package at a final cost of… $819 billion. Hooray for Obama Money! Time for every American to buy a mansion! Oh right, it still has to go through the Senate. Well hurry up you rich bastard Senators! FIX POTHOLE PLZ. [AP]

This guy, Obama. He’s arranged to host a sexy beer party at the White House tonight, presumably after the House votes on his famously porky abortion-loving moneybomb, The Stimulus Package. Leaders of both chambers of Congress, and of both parties, have been invited. So the House Republicans, who will probably all vote against this bill, should probably pre-game with grain alcohol on the limo ride down Pennsylvania Avenue because it will be awwwwwkwaaaaaard. MORE »