Tag Archives: stimulus

  Let's laugh at John Boehner's tears

John Boehner Pines For Good Old Days Of Great Recession

Is this mean? It might be a little mean. Then again, John Boehner is mean.
Did you know it has been six years since President Obama murdered the American economy with his bare hands and some so-called “stimulus” spending? This is a true fact, according to Speaker John Boehner, who is crying — more than usual — about how the president’s unlawful Marxist Big Government spending ruined everything: Read more on John Boehner Pines For Good Old Days Of Great Recession…
  There Are Cargo Cults With Better Economic Models

Now Grover Norquist Wants To Drown Republicans In The Bathtub

Wow such current meme. Still more up to date than Norquist
There is an old saying: if you laid all the economists in the world end to end, Grover Norquist would still be wrong about everything. Still, you have to give him a lot of credit (No you don’t). In spite of the fact that only 2 percent of economists polled by the University of Chicago agree with him, Norquist is trumpeting his belief that the economic recovery did not come as a result of the economic stimulus act passed in 2009. So what did cause the recovery? Why, the spending cuts caused by the sequester and the continuation of 85 percent of the Bush tax cuts, you silly goose. Read more on Now Grover Norquist Wants To Drown Republicans In The Bathtub…
  please do not stimulate the turtle

Surprise, Mitch McConnell Taking Credit For Jobs Created By Stimulus He Hates

Not that anyone will be knocked over with this particular feather, but let’s give a little cheer to Mitch McConnell for this bit of chootspah: “Five years later, the stimulus is no success to celebrate,” said the embattled Republican to the Associated Press, “It is a tragedy to lament.”* Of course, that tragic spending halted and reversed the economy’s slide toward another Great Depression, but since it didn’t immediately result in everyone getting rich, that detail can be ignored and we can write a nice obituary for Keynesian economics, and while we’re at it maybe elect Mitt Romney because he would have let GM go bankrupt. Heck, maybe he could still do it, yay! Also, too, Obamacare is a very bad thing because the government has no business interfering in your healthcare, except maybe when Mitch McConnell wants to run an ad calling attention to a helpful government health program he helped pass in the ’90s, because it helps people. Read more on Surprise, Mitch McConnell Taking Credit For Jobs Created By Stimulus He Hates…
  wonksplainer

Austerity Declared Winner In Washington State Bridge Collapse

Gee, I wonder what will happen if we build roads and bridges, then completely ignore them for decades and drastically cut funding everywhere in order to suck the knob of the right wing’s newest golden calf, austerity? Surely nothing bad will happen ever, because debt and deficit are lurking in the corner, threatening to molest your kiddies worse that Ghost Harvey Milk, and Jesus loves austerity. Well, folks in Washington State got a taste of austerity’s sour splooge yesterday when a bridge on Interstate 5 straight up collapsed: The major highway bridge linking the Washington state city of Seattle with Canada and the rest of the Pacific north-west region collapsed late on Thursday, dumping several vehicles and the people inside into a river. The four-lane Interstate 5 bridge collapsed about halfway between Seattle and Vancouver, British Columbia, Trooper Mark Francis of the Washington state patrol said. Since last night’s bridge collapse, which at least was no motherfucking Minnesota bridge collapse, Jesus, officials have blamed a truck that was overloaded and ran into one of the bridge’s spans. But shouldn’t a truck NOT be able to take out an interstate highway, unless it is overloaded WITH TERRORISM? Yr Wonkette has a sad over the bridge collapse in Washington State. But if the GOP continues to have a hissyfit anytime anyone wants to spend a dime, even to help with GODDAM TORNADO RELIEF, then this kind of shit will continue to happen. Let’s wonksplore some facts and data about transportation funding (CLICK! It’s not like we are lecturing on the 5th amendment again!) Read more on Austerity Declared Winner In Washington State Bridge Collapse…
  we're on a road to nowhere

Meet Alaska’s Airport And Harbor To Nowhere

What are you thankful for this holiday weekend? The re-election of the Muslin in the White House? That Ol’ Handsome Joe Biden is still driving his bitchin’ Camaro up and down Pennsylvania Avenue? That drunk Uncle Fred is behind bars awaiting trial on a DUI? Hookers and coke? The people of Akutan, Alaska, have much to be thankful for. Oh so very much. About $100 million reasons to be thankful! Or sort of not thankful, and annoyed! Either way! Read more on Meet Alaska’s Airport And Harbor To Nowhere…
  lies and lying liars and cetera

America’s Sweetheart Paul Ryan Will Lie Pathologically To Your Face, Stimulus Edition

We bet any minute Aaron Sorkin will come out with a Newsroom episode about the very special time in October 2010 when Zooey Deschanel’s younger twin sister, Paul Ryan, denied having asked for stimulus funds like Peter denied Christ. But — whoa! — would you guess that before flat-out denying that he’d lobbied for stimulus funds, Paul Ryan had in fact written five different letters to the Obama administration asking for stimulus funds? A Republican lying until his eyeballs fall out? That is so weird! Read more on America’s Sweetheart Paul Ryan Will Lie Pathologically To Your Face, Stimulus Edition…
  math problems

Rick Santorum Accuses Awful Obama of Best Employment Policy On Earth

Frozen shitsicle Rick Santorum went on CNN today to remind everyone that he cannot do math, he is illiterate and he has no idea how many people live or work in the United States, all in under 60 seconds. Here is the world according to Rick: gigantic failure Barack Obama created “only” 240 million jobs for everyone who wanted one, instead of the 280 million he promised them. So basically Obama is the “worst” best jobs president in the history of ever, since the American labor force is made up of 153 million people who now all have roughly 1.5 jobs to thank him for. Video after the jump: Read more on Rick Santorum Accuses Awful Obama of Best Employment Policy On Earth…
  paperback writer

Mitt Romney Edits His Book To Magically Become Teabagger

In the hardcover edition of Mitt Romney’s second book, No Apology, Mitt saves the Olympics by talking about how important the 2009 stimulus package was and how his plan to force citizens to buy health care was better than Obama’s plan. But like any mittens, Romney is not for all seasons. And when the Republican electorate is not feeling very moderate, he has to cut off a few fingers to make wearing him bearable. (A+++++ mittens analogy, would buy again.) So in the paperback edition of Mitt’s book, the sections on the stimulus and on health care have magically changed! Imagine that! Now he hates the stimulus and Obamacare is evil and even his own health plan was evil, because Democrats made it cover people. Say hello to Anger Mitt Romney, the foaming-at-the-mouth Teabagger. Yeah, good luck pulling that acting job off, Mittens. Read more on Mitt Romney Edits His Book To Magically Become Teabagger…
  taking care of business

Obama Administration Has No Idea If It’s Running Economy Correctly

With the news out today that the nation’s unemployment rate has hit its highest point in months, it was obviously the perfect occasion for the Obama administration to get out in the media and brag about how well they’re doing. Thus, Austan Goolsbee, chair of the Council of Economic Advisers, sat down with John Harwood to discuss the economy. So, has the administration made the right economic decisions in office, such as the stimulus it settled on? “I don’t know the answer to that for sure. There’s a bit of a crystal ball in that,” said Goolsbee. So the Obama administration admits it basically has no idea if it’s doing the right things with the economy. Great. Read more on Obama Administration Has No Idea If It’s Running Economy Correctly…
  Spoiled Brats

Alaska: America’s Leech!

Like Australia, Alaska is a prison colony of persons too unsavory to hack it in their O.G. motherland. Oh, and also there are native people who were there first, like Todd Palin. Peer into the heart of this province of skullduggery and chicanery, and watch as it nurses the lifeblood from Amerikkka’s teat! Read more on Alaska: America’s Leech!…
  senioritis

Man-Whore Mark Sanford Takes Obama’s Dirty Money, Like A Prostitute

March of 2009 was so very long ago that when you click this link you will be surprised that everyone in the story isn’t wearing chain mail and calling each other “thee” and “thou,” but back then South Carolina Governor Mark Sanford was a guy with a future in politics, and if there’s one thing guys with futures in politics do, it’s go in for dumb grandstanding stunts that score points with ideologues but do real, actual damage to the people who elected them. That’s why 2012 sleeper political candidate Mark Sanford bravely told Chairman Obama that he didn’t want to use the money allocated to his state by the stimulus package to “stimulate” the economy in the intended Keynesian (Kenyan?) fashion, but rather to pay off this guy he owed money to. What happened to that strong, principled conservative of yore, anyway? Read more on Man-Whore Mark Sanford Takes Obama’s Dirty Money, Like A Prostitute…
  it's morning in america

Mo’ Federal Money For the States, Fewer Problems

Senate Democrats and Maine’s two Communist Republican ladies voted to give money to the states, hooray! This means that state governments won’t have to lay everybody off. Olympia Snowe said that “this should be sort of the final down payment,” which means that…the Federal government now owns the states, having bought them on the installment plan? Wait, isn’t a “down payment” the first money you put down on something, not the last? We think your metaphors need help, Olympia. Anyway, House members had just assumed that the Senate would never get its act together and pass this, so they had sort of wandered off, and now Nancy Pelosi needs to get them back to vote on it. Read more on Mo’ Federal Money For the States, Fewer Problems… Read more on Mo’ Federal Money For the States, Fewer Problems…
  wonkette money desk

More Evidence That The Stimulus Created 19 Abortions And Nothing Else

Which Starbucks-drinking human who likes to drink Starbucks coffee during work breaks is trying to defend the ObamUlus TelLyPoopter WhaleFail package today? Just the CBO, a national corrupt community organizing commune for Gaynesian economists: “The massive stimulus package passed last year to blunt the impact of the worst U.S. recession in 70 years created up to 2.1 million jobs in the last three months of 2009, the non-partisan Congressional Budget Office said on Tuesday.” It also lowered the unemployment rate by 2.1% and added 3.5% of economic growth during said quarter. Should the Democrats even bother trying to sell this awful news to deficit-conscious voters? Read more on More Evidence That The Stimulus Created 19 Abortions And Nothing Else…
  whores of babylon

Penn’s Firm Made Big Smackeroos Off Stimulus

History’s greatest monster, the notorious bottom-feeding nudibranch Mark Penn, has once again triumphed over Goodness and Mercy. Nearly $6 million in stimulus money went to Penn’s PR firm, Burson-Marsteller, in order to “preserve three jobs,” which is a fancy way of saying “keep Penn in Cheetos and JUGGS subscriptions through 2012.” Read more on Penn’s Firm Made Big Smackeroos Off Stimulus…
  fact recession

The Real Economy Is Booming In Fake Congressional Districts

What is the most wasteful kind of big government stimulus spending of all? It is all the money that Obama allocated for places that don’t actually exist, like Arizona’s 15th district. (Seriously: “Arizona”!!) In fact, Recovery.gov listed a bunch of statistics about jobs that were created and saved in places that aren’t even real. “We report what the recipients submit to us,” said Ed Pound, Communications Director for the [Recovery] Board. Ha… oh, dear! Might be one less “job saved” in this Ed Pound’s congressional district, assuming either of those exist. Read more on The Real Economy Is Booming In Fake Congressional Districts…
  rumors on the internets

Jim Inhofe Didn’t Even Read ‘Harry Potter,’ But He Still Hates Mudbloods

Ken Layne reviews Infinite Jest, or some other book. [Las Vegas Weekly] Honestly, there’s really no point in reading something you’ve already been paid to vote against. [Think Progess] Convicts need their stimulus checks just as much as the next guy. How else can they afford to have The Club™ surgically installed in their pooper? [RedState] Read more on Jim Inhofe Didn’t Even Read ‘Harry Potter,’ But He Still Hates Mudbloods…
  poor people suck

Republicans Now Furious About Dept. of Agriculture Buying Some Food For Starving Americans

You know who sucks? Poor jobless hungry people in America, that’s who! The famous wingnut blog “The Drudge Report” got some GOP people very, very excited because Drudge posted something suggesting the government spent $1.2 million to purchase “two pounds of ham.” TALK ABOUT PORK SPENDING, HEY-O! But, according to sad pooh-bear agriculture secretary Tom Vilsack, “the contract in question purchased 760,000 pounds of ham for $1.19 million, at a cost of approximately $1.50 per pound.” Read more on Republicans Now Furious About Dept. of Agriculture Buying Some Food For Starving Americans…
  rumors on the internets

At Least Mark Sanford Doesn’t Pretend To Love His Wife

Barack Obama forgot how he met Michelle, his wife, his guiding star! You’ve only been married to the woman since 1992, Barack. Jesus Lord. And last year he forgot to get her a wedding anniversary present, so he swung by Radio Shack after work and picked up a lousy DVD box set. Ugh, the DVD box set is for the twentieth anniversary! [Swampland] Read more on At Least Mark Sanford Doesn’t Pretend To Love His Wife…
  but there's only one mark sanford

Did You Know Other Governors, In History, Have Also Done Weird Things?

An important new Associated Press topical article notes that exactly five other governors in American history have done something weird, while in office. So nature-boy mountain lamer Mark Sanford is not alone! Come out of the closet, Mark, and come back to America. Read more on Did You Know Other Governors, In History, Have Also Done Weird Things?…
  a walk in the woods

Welfare-Nature Queer Mark Sanford Using Stimulus Money On Appalachian Trail

South Carolina granola hippie Mark Sanford just couldn’t take the pressure, man, so he put on his Tevas and headed up to the mountains to clear his head. Nothing like some Kinhin walking meditation to get the fear of The Man — that man, the prez — out of your soul. At least out here on the Appalachian Trail, mean old Barack Obama with his suits and his money and his power trips can’t bum you out …. unless uptight Obama is even using his Power Trip Stimulus Money on the trail itself. Read more on Welfare-Nature Queer Mark Sanford Using Stimulus Money On Appalachian Trail…