stimulus
Austerity Declared Winner In Washington State Bridge Collapse
Gee, I wonder what will happen if we build roads and bridges, then completely ignore them for decades and drastically cut funding everywhere in order to suck the knob of the right wing’s newest golden calf, austerity? Surely nothing bad will happen ever, because debt and deficit are lurking in the corner, threatening to molest [...]
Meet Alaska’s Airport And Harbor To Nowhere
What are you thankful for this holiday weekend? The re-election of the Muslin in the White House? That Ol’ Handsome Joe Biden is still driving his bitchin’ Camaro up and down Pennsylvania Avenue? That drunk Uncle Fred is behind bars awaiting trial on a DUI? Hookers and coke? The people of Akutan, Alaska, have much [...]
Herman Cain Watches Girl Torture Goldfish From Mountaintop
Here is a little girl throwing water and mud on top of a goldfish she dumped on the ground. Did you know that it’s also a political ad from Herman Cain, decrying the Stimulus? Of course you did, what else would it be.
Rick Santorum Accuses Awful Obama of Best Employment Policy On Earth
Frozen shitsicle Rick Santorum went on CNN today to remind everyone that he cannot do math, he is illiterate and he has no idea how many people live or work in the United States, all in under 60 seconds. Here is the world according to Rick: gigantic failure Barack Obama created “only” 240 million jobs [...]
Mitt Romney Edits His Book To Magically Become Teabagger
In the hardcover edition of Mitt Romney’s second book, No Apology, Mitt saves the Olympics by talking about how important the 2009 stimulus package was and how his plan to force citizens to buy health care was better than Obama’s plan. But like any mittens, Romney is not for all seasons. And when the Republican [...]
Obama Administration Has No Idea If It’s Running Economy Correctly
With the news out today that the nation’s unemployment rate has hit its highest point in months, it was obviously the perfect occasion for the Obama administration to get out in the media and brag about how well they’re doing. Thus, Austan Goolsbee, chair of the Council of Economic Advisers, sat down with John Harwood [...]
Alaska: America’s Leech!
Like Australia, Alaska is a prison colony of persons too unsavory to hack it in their O.G. motherland. Oh, and also there are native people who were there first, like Todd Palin. Peer into the heart of this province of skullduggery and chicanery, and watch as it nurses the lifeblood from Amerikkka’s teat!
Man-Whore Mark Sanford Takes Obama’s Dirty Money, Like A Prostitute
March of 2009 was so very long ago that when you click this link you will be surprised that everyone in the story isn’t wearing chain mail and calling each other “thee” and “thou,” but back then South Carolina Governor Mark Sanford was a guy with a future in politics, and if there’s one thing [...]
Mo’ Federal Money For the States, Fewer Problems
Senate Democrats and Maine’s two Communist Republican ladies voted to give money to the states, hooray! This means that state governments won’t have to lay everybody off. Olympia Snowe said that “this should be sort of the final down payment,” which means that…the Federal government now owns the states, having bought them on the installment [...]
More Evidence That The Stimulus Created 19 Abortions And Nothing Else
Which Starbucks-drinking human who likes to drink Starbucks coffee during work breaks is trying to defend the ObamUlus TelLyPoopter WhaleFail package today? Just the CBO, a national corrupt community organizing commune for Gaynesian economists: “The massive stimulus package passed last year to blunt the impact of the worst U.S. recession in 70 years created up [...]
Penn’s Firm Made Big Smackeroos Off Stimulus
History’s greatest monster, the notorious bottom-feeding nudibranch Mark Penn, has once again triumphed over Goodness and Mercy. Nearly $6 million in stimulus money went to Penn’s PR firm, Burson-Marsteller, in order to “preserve three jobs,” which is a fancy way of saying “keep Penn in Cheetos and JUGGS subscriptions through 2012.”
The Real Economy Is Booming In Fake Congressional Districts
What is the most wasteful kind of big government stimulus spending of all? It is all the money that Obama allocated for places that don’t actually exist, like Arizona’s 15th district. (Seriously: “Arizona”!!) In fact, Recovery.gov listed a bunch of statistics about jobs that were created and saved in places that aren’t even real. “We [...]
Jim Inhofe Didn’t Even Read ‘Harry Potter,’ But He Still Hates Mudbloods
Ken Layne reviews Infinite Jest, or some other book. [Las Vegas Weekly] Honestly, there’s really no point in reading something you’ve already been paid to vote against. [Think Progess] Convicts need their stimulus checks just as much as the next guy. How else can they afford to have The Club™ surgically installed in their pooper? [...]
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