So Dick Cheney told Obama to stop “dithering”! Haha, oh, right! Yes, he’ll get right on that… ceasing to dither. This is a hilarious and formidable old man insult used to express one’s displeasure with the lack of bombs and troops and guns and bombs and shit currently being sent to Afghanistan. “Having announced his Afghanistan strategy last March, President Obama now seems afraid to make a decision, and unable to provide his commander on the ground with the troops he needs to complete his mission,” said Cheney. It’s like: is Obama scared? Scared of WAR? Ha! Dick Cheney didn’t realize the President was a GIRL who needs to write in her diary 10 times a day before deploying more American soldiers to Afghanistan. [Los Angeles Times]

The Republican party finds itself in a pickle this political season: how to point out subtle differences between John McCain and his future Presidential opponent without saying unpleasant words like “black” or “woman.” Several party leaders have already come up with brilliant solutions, revealed after the jump. MORE »