We should have known. We should have known that Barack Obama would try to kill us via that Red Chinese nerd queer, the energy secretary “Choo Choo,” who’s so dumb and violent that he doesn’t even know what oil is. This Energy Department aide of his went down to Mexico a couple of weeks ago to set the table for Obama’s visit, and he just had to fuck a pig while he was there, and then he got the disease and tried to kill his whole family with it, in Maryland. MORE »

Texas Rep. Joe Barton has been harnessing all of the momentum he built up the other day when he kicked the everlasting fuck out of that Chinese science fag, “Choo Choo,” with his mind powers. According to the Sierra Club hippies, Barton followed up yesterday with this uber-pwnage: “Rep. Joe Barton (R-TX) says Americans will only drive hybrids under military force: Barton not only said that hybrids don’t pay for themselves over time, which isn’t true, but he said that Americans will only drive them when forced to do so by the government, ‘backed by the army.’” It’s hilarious how close Joe Barton pushes the limit but always stops just before shouting “I LITERALLY DO WHATEVER THE OIL COMPANIES TELL ME TO DO.” And yes, the military will make us drive gay robot cars, for Gaia. [Sierra Club]

Here is an official clip prepared by the office of Texas Rep. Joe Barton titled, “Where Does Oil Come From? Question leaves Energy Secretary puzzled.” This title alone should tell you enough about what really happened. MORE »