Tag Archives: steve king

  I Slam You Slam We All Slam Islam!

Muslim-Hatin’ Rep. Steve King Sure There’s No Discrimination Against Muslims

Hey, he's not denying anyone a job right there, so he's cool
Iowa congressprick Steve “No I’m not the Novelist” King is disgusted — disgusted! — at the warped priorities of Homeland Security Secretary Jeh Johnson, who said in February that he would “give voice to the plight of Muslims living in this country and the discrimination that they face.” King thinks that’s a pretty weird thing to say, since, as far as Steve King knows, Muslim-Americans simply don’t face any discrimination. Read more on Muslim-Hatin’ Rep. Steve King Sure There’s No Discrimination Against Muslims…
  History lesson

Congressjerk Steve King Warns We Must Brace For Endless Civil War, Thanks SCOTUS

And NO homos
Bad news, guys. We’re about to kick off another civil war, according to Iowa Rep. Steve King, who is definitely not A Idiot. What with the Supreme Court poised to force King and all his close personal hetero-friends to suck on gay penises and put rings on them while Jesus weeps in the corner, even the most casual student of U.S. America history can tell you this is exactly how that other Civil War got started: Read more on Congressjerk Steve King Warns We Must Brace For Endless Civil War, Thanks SCOTUS…
  Just needs a little fixin'

Republican Congress Does Not Care For All These Anchor Babies, Picks HOLY F*CK RACIST To Testify

Go home!
Always searching for the next great idea to keep America the pristine for-white-Christian-straight-dudes-only nation Jesus intended, Republicans in the House and Senate are pushing for a law to tweak the 14th Amendment just a tad: Read more on Republican Congress Does Not Care For All These Anchor Babies, Picks HOLY F*CK RACIST To Testify…
  Here have some news n stuff

President Barry H. Bamz Obama: ‘F*ck It’

Saturday night was Nerd Prom again, the annual gathering of Republican and Democratic politicians and the Very Serious Journalists who are supposed to be fourth estating them, all dressed up fancy-like and putting their conflicts of interest and differences of opinion aside at the White House Correspondents Dinner, which is The Most Important A-List Event Of The Year. (So important, in fact, that this year, CNN outright stated you can look up other news on the interwebs because NOTHING tops the WHCD.) While politicos and their supposed watchdogs yukking it up together is kinda awkward and sorta really wrong, as Stephen Colbert rightfully joked about (in a full-on serious way) when he was the keynote comedian in 2006, someone did write some funny jokes for the president to make, like the video clip above (and typed out below, for you “I don’t watch videos” types): Read more on President Barry H. Bamz Obama: ‘F*ck It’…
  this will totally work

Rep. Steve King Shows Gay Supreme Court Who Is The Very Straight Boss Of Them

Jesus
Rep. Steve King has introduced a completely new and different bill to stop the Supreme Court from forcing gay marriage on these United States in June. It is called the “Restrain the Judges on Marriage Act of 2015,” and it would make a law that says, whoops, sorry, if a case has “G-A-Y” and “marriage” in the title, judges aren’t allowed to hear it: Read more on Rep. Steve King Shows Gay Supreme Court Who Is The Very Straight Boss Of Them…
  the commentczar's in town

Deleted Comments Of The Week: Why Are We Being Anti-Semitic To Sarah Palin?

Scootaloo is neither a gun owner nor Jewish, as far as we know. She worships Rainbow Dash
The Deleted Comments Hopper was extra-full this week, largely because we hit on a convergence of topics in one post: we wrote about the Palin family and guns at the same time, and that combination summoned the angerbears from the depths. Also, we suggested that not all American Jews agree with Congressschmuck Steve King, who carries so much water for AIPAC that he has calves the size of challas, and that brought us some real winners too. Heck, we don’t even have room to mention the anti-vaxxer who said that criticizing paranoia about vaccines is the “type of attitude is what forced people into internment camps and concentration camps,” which is really too bad, because we wish we could have mentioned that. Read more on Deleted Comments Of The Week: Why Are We Being Anti-Semitic To Sarah Palin?…
  oy

Congressschmuck Steve King Doesn’t Understand Why American Jews Are So Anti-Semitic

Jesus
Iowa Rep. Steve King is an actual member of Congress, as well as a terrible person on every single issue, from Messicans to homomessicans to light bulbs to dogfighting. In a radio interview on Friday, Steve King demonstrated the depth and breadth of his terribleness by being a terrible person about The Jews, in whom he is Very Disappointed for being such bad The Jews, which is a thing The Jews never EVER tire of hearing, no really, please do go on some more about how The Jews have let down you non-The Jews. Read more on Congressschmuck Steve King Doesn’t Understand Why American Jews Are So Anti-Semitic…
  Trump/Thing On Trump's Head 2016!

President Trump Recalls How Easy Beating Obama Was In 2012

The yoogest, classiest President
Donald Trump was in Iowa this weekend making noises from his mouth hole about the possibility that he will keep talking forever about running for president, and people at Steve King’s CrazyRama actually applauded him. We can understand that, because as we believe we have pointed out, they are crazy. Less explicable is the fact that the Des Moines Register, an actual journalistic newspaper enterprise, asked Trump to sit down for an interview just like he was a real political candidate or something! Read more on President Trump Recalls How Easy Beating Obama Was In 2012…
  It's the Derp-Derpiest Time Of The Year

Iowa Freedom Summit To Gather Most Of America’s Rightwing Idiots In One Place

Bachmann kept trying to get the Riddler into Conversion Therapy
Oh, dear lord, Iowa is going to be like a superdense mass of Dumb this weekend, as Rep. Steve King and Citizens United host the “Iowa Freedom Summit” — kind of a Moronic Convergence of rightwing political hacks all coming together to hang out with the man who proclaimed that DREAM Act kids were mostly “drug mules with thighs calves the size of cantaloupes” [how quickly we forget!] and who fretted about the president hosting a “deportable” at the State of the Union. Read more on Iowa Freedom Summit To Gather Most Of America’s Rightwing Idiots In One Place…
  my fellow kenyan impostor wussy dictators

Extra Extra! Get Your 2015 Barack Obama State Of The Union Liveblog Here!

Why does Obama hate freedom scams?
It’s that time of year again: when your wussy liberal islamocommunofascist pals gather round the Wonkette hearth and trade googly-heart-eyes for “President” Barack (“Mom”) Obama. Will he announce Obamaphones for some and FEMA camps for the rest? Here’s fucking hoping. Read more on Extra Extra! Get Your 2015 Barack Obama State Of The Union Liveblog Here!…
  How will they 'save' the Constitution next?

Hero Conservatives Will Fix Stupid Framers’ Dumb Constitution

Trivia question from the first week of the 114th Congress: What percentage of proposed changes to the United States Constitution were filed by members of the Constitution-waving, original intent-spouting, Founding Father-worshiping Republican Party? Read more on Hero Conservatives Will Fix Stupid Framers’ Dumb Constitution…
  Whip S-M-R-T

Maybe Steve Scalise Had Excellent Reasons For Talking To A Hate Group, You Never Know

Bobby Jindal offers his exorcism skills
We’re still passing the popcorn around while we watch House Majority Whip Steve Scalise’s political career implode over the news that he spoke to a white supremacist group run by David Duke in 2002. We’re still at that early stage of the Scandal Process where it looks like he’s doomed, but damage control may still be possible, so let’s see who’s spinning what. Can this turd be polished? Read more on Maybe Steve Scalise Had Excellent Reasons For Talking To A Hate Group, You Never Know…
  Serious Empty Gestures Say The Most

Silly Obama, Air Force One Is Only For White Presidents

It was this or a hastily-shopped picture of Air Force One up on cinder blocks.
You may find this hard to believe, but not every Republican member of the House of Representatives thinks John Boehner’s Obama Sucks Act of 2014 is quite tough enough on Ineffectual Kenyan Usurper Weak Socialist Tyrant King Barack Hussein Obama. Instead of just passing a bill invalidating his recent executive action on immigration — which would just get vetoed anyway — some of Obama’s more strident teabagger critics want to vote for far stricter measures that would also just get vetoed, but would Send A Message. Read more on Silly Obama, Air Force One Is Only For White Presidents…
  Listen to the man with an onion around his belt

John McCain Snarls At Young GOP Punks To Get Off His Lawn

Ugh, kids these days
Sure, you might think the whole Republican Party has gone round the bend and off the deep end about President Obama’s decision to destroy America (again!) with his unprecedented executive action on immigration. But no, that is A Illusion because a few young congressional newbies are making it look that way. So sayeth Sen. John Bitterpants McCain, always the voice of reason and rationality (unless there is a slight problem with The Economy, in which case drop everything and proceed immediately to crapping in your Depends, or unless someone somewhere isn’t currently being bombed). Read more on John McCain Snarls At Young GOP Punks To Get Off His Lawn…
  We Don't Interrupt This Program...

Today’s Top Network Excuses For Not Running Obama’s Immigration Speech (1. He’s Black) Updated!

Now it's a few hundred, and still nothin' on.
Update/new development: Yr. Wonkette is psychic once again! (see end of post) Barry Bamz is going to single-handedly overthrow the rule of law tonight, but the teevee networks have decided not to carry the speech, because come on, it’s only a presidential speech, and those are lame. Or maybe they’re too partisan, according to some guy who writes a really overheated column at Politico: Read more on Today’s Top Network Excuses For Not Running Obama’s Immigration Speech (1. He’s Black) Updated!…
  Countdown To Imspeechment

A Children’s Treasury Of Preemptive Hissy Fits On Obama’s Immigration Speech

Real wrath of God type stuff
We hear that the president’s giving a speech tonight — not that the broadcast teevee networks will bother carrying it — and while the full details of the executive action aren’t out yet, Republicans know it’s pretty bad. Here are just a few of the Psychic Predictions of disaster they’re floating: Read more on A Children’s Treasury Of Preemptive Hissy Fits On Obama’s Immigration Speech…
  The Five People You Meet In Heaven Are Queer As Folk

Steve King: Dogs May Go To Heaven, Gays Not So Much

Jesus
Iowa Congresscantaloupe Steve King has some thoughts on The Gheys, as well as on where you will find them in the afterlife and where you won’t. Sadly, according to King, the odds of Heaven having any really good discotheques are pretty slim, so people who have lived lives of great rectitude should just resign themselves to spending eternity in the equivalent of a Holiday Inn cocktail lounge. Read more on Steve King: Dogs May Go To Heaven, Gays Not So Much…
  On the count of three everyone panic

Oh Good, Now All The People Want To Put The Tiny Brown Babies In Baby Jail

Nothing to fear except EVERYTHING
File this under No One Could Have Predicted: While members of Congress are on summer vacation, holding town halls so they can pretend to give a damn about what their constituents have to say, it seems some of those constituents are a tad miffed about this whole BORDER CRISIS!!!!! situation and what exactly Congress plans to do about that. Read more on Oh Good, Now All The People Want To Put The Tiny Brown Babies In Baby Jail…
  fear of a black planet

Steve King Knows An African When He Sees One, Missouri

Only obsidian can kill him
Iowa Republican Steve King has the piercing blue eyes and inerrant moral compass of a White Walker, no one denies this. Yesterday, King appeared on NewsmaxTV (which is a real thing, apparently), where he shared his thoughts nerve impulses from his brainstem about the doin’s that’s a-transpirin’ down in Ferguson, Missouri. King mentioned that it sure sounded like members of the Congressional Black Caucus were calling for lawlessness, but that wasn’t even the highest-pitched dog whistle of the interview. Asked about the role of racial profiling in the ongoing Ferguson protests, King released a new, experimental dog whistle that, until yesterday, had only been heard by a select group of engineers at Stormfront. Read more on Steve King Knows An African When He Sees One, Missouri…
  #MadAboutAThing

Michele Bachmann Will Protect Evil Brown Children From Barack Mengele’s Secret Medical Experiments

It’s going to be a sad day in America when we don’t have Rep. Michele Bachmann to make us die of laughter anymore because she is retiring from Congress to spend more time standing up for oppressed heterosexuals, defending herself against those pesky ethics violations charges, and helping her faaaaaabulous husband pick out “doggie sunglasses” for their dog Boomer, which, let’s face it, is probably some kind of TMI not-safe-for-work euphemism we should all just try to forget. Unless, of course, she can persuade some Republicans to beg her to run for president in 2016, and yes please, pretty please, because we all had such a good time when she ran in 2012 and “didn’t get anything wrong,” other than all the stuff she did get wrong, which is exactly why we Team Blue types should be #ReadyAsFuckForMichele, awwwww yeah. Read more on Michele Bachmann Will Protect Evil Brown Children From Barack Mengele’s Secret Medical Experiments…
  House Of the Rising Dumb

Newest Version Of GOP Immigration Harsher But Still Doesn’t Deport Obama, Passage Iffy

Caillou never gets in trouble like this.
House Republicans have ironed out an immigration bill that just might be cruel enough to appease the Tea Party, which is all that matters, because it would give House members the ability to go home on vacation and say that they at least voted to solve the border mess. It doesn’t mean that anything will actually be solved if it does pass today, since in adding more Mean to make the bill palatable to wingnuts, the House has made the thing utterly toxic to the Senate. But the main thing is that the House will (maybe) be able to say it Did Something, so shut up, Obama. Read more on Newest Version Of GOP Immigration Harsher But Still Doesn’t Deport Obama, Passage Iffy…