Tag Archives: steve doocy

  Finally somebody is giving him the respect he deserves!

Rick Santorum: Nobody Gets Me Like ISIS Gets Me

Rick Santorum has finally found a media source that hasn’t been hijacked by the gay-loving liberals, one that quotes him accurately and nicely and conveys the true heart of his messages. WorldNetDaily? NO, not that commie rag. It is ISIS! Read more on Rick Santorum: Nobody Gets Me Like ISIS Gets Me…
  Maybe More Guns Would Help?

Fox News: Eric Holder Really Should NOT Have Shot Those Cops In Ferguson!

The other chyron for the story: 'Street Justice: Police officers shot in wake of DOJ Report'
While two police officers were still hospitalized after being shot in Ferguson, Missouri, early Thursday morning (they have since been released), and police have no suspects, Fox News and other rightwing sources have identified the true culprits: Attorney General Eric Holder and everyone who’s ever protested against police brutality. Read more on Fox News: Eric Holder Really Should NOT Have Shot Those Cops In Ferguson!…
  Revised Revisionist History

Fox Knows Who Is To Blame For Ferguson Riots (It’s Still Eric Holder Obvs)

They just can't seem to quit him
Fox News wasted no time in repackaging the news that the Justice Department is not expected to file civil rights charges against Darren Wilson in the killing of Michael Brown, according to a report in the New York Times, into an astonishingly distorted pack of lies about Ferguson. Yes, we know you’re shocked. Read more on Fox Knows Who Is To Blame For Ferguson Riots (It’s Still Eric Holder Obvs)…
  Won't someone please think of Steve Doocy?

Obama’s Free Socialist College Plan Unfair To Fox News Idiots!

Weep for him, America
President Barry H. Bamz Obama recently announced a plan to give free community college to everyone who promises to do their homework on time and not fail all the classes. Edumacation is good, and free is good too, since kids these days are drowning in student loan debt, which is bad. (Elizabeth Warren says so, and she knows everything. Don’t argue.) And besides, all the other cool countries are doing it, which might have something to do with why all their kids are smarter at doing the math and the reading and the science than our kids. Read more on Obama’s Free Socialist College Plan Unfair To Fox News Idiots!…
  But Clinton Lied About A Blowjob

You’ll Never Guess Why Fox Thinks Sexytime Leaker Gen. Petraeus Is Being Framed Now!

Totally worth it
Wingnutty Expert on Everything Andrew Napolitano was all over Fox News Monday and Tuesday to float his expert opinion on why former CIA director David Petraeus is maybe going to face criminal charges for being a Gangster of Love. It’s all just because Barack Obama is out to get David Petraeus, who never did nothin’ wrong, because 1) Obama wanted to short-circuit Petraeus’s bright political career, and/or 2) Petraeus was about to spill the beans on what REALLY happened at Benghazi, so somebody in the White House revealed that the former general was boning his biographer, which somehow made it impossible for him to ever speak the REAL truth. Read more on You’ll Never Guess Why Fox Thinks Sexytime Leaker Gen. Petraeus Is Being Framed Now!…
  Time to hide under the bed again

You’ll Never Guess Who Fox News Thinks Is Guilty Of Terrorisming The United States Of Paris

Wimpy tyrant dictator doormat Obama is refusing to call the terrorist attack in Paris a terrorist attack — except for how he did do that — but the omnipotent experts at Fox “News” know better. Not only was it a terrorist attack, but it was political correctness and New York Mayor Bill de Blasio what done it, because of political correctness and communism, THANKS OBAMA. Read more on You’ll Never Guess Who Fox News Thinks Is Guilty Of Terrorisming The United States Of Paris…
  The real killer is still out there

Fox ‘Psychiatrist’ Keith Ablow: Let’s Charge Michael Brown’s Family With His Murder!

This crack team is on the case to find the real killer
In the ongoing competition to blame every single person in America for the death of Ferguson teenager Michael Brown — except, of course, for the guy who actually shot him to death — Fox News “psychiatrist” Keith Ablow has the new, niftiest theory of all: it was Brown’s family what done it! Read more on Fox ‘Psychiatrist’ Keith Ablow: Let’s Charge Michael Brown’s Family With His Murder!…
  A Sojourner In A Strange Land. A Very Strange Land

Obama Said Words From The Bible, Is That Even Allowed?

He's stealing our worship words!
Newest Rightwing Butthurt: In his speech on immigration reform, Traitor Usurper Friend Of Lawbreakers Barack Hussein Obama, who never mentions Jesus on Easter or Christmas, actually referenced the Bible, and now that’s a terrible thing. As part of his address, Obama said, Read more on Obama Said Words From The Bible, Is That Even Allowed?…
  Probably should be quarantined

Fox’s Shep Smith Goes Rogue, Probably Has Ebola

He doesn't look well, does he?
While the rest of the inmates at the Fox “News” asylum are having themselves the biggest pants-crapping meltdown over Ebolapocalypseghazigate since some Muslim guy inhaled and then exhaled just like a terrorist, Shep Smith — the guy known as the very lonely lone voice of occasional reason, which is the lowest damned bar imaginable, but okay — is sick of Fox freaking the freak out, and he is not going to take it anymore. Read more on Fox’s Shep Smith Goes Rogue, Probably Has Ebola…
  The Ebola goes in the Ebola goes out

CDC Director ‘Too Busy’ With Ebola Nonsense To Explain Himself To Bill O’Reilly, As If

Please gimme ratings, please gimme ratings
Everyone knows that President Obama is trying to kill us all with Ebola, and he’s puppet-mastering Dr. Tom Frieden, director of the Centers for Disease Control, to make us think that is not the plan, even though it totally is. That’s just a fact. Read more on CDC Director ‘Too Busy’ With Ebola Nonsense To Explain Himself To Bill O’Reilly, As If…
  clipbait

Stephen Colbert So Sad Now That Fox & Friends Got The Ebola (Video)

Eyebrow of Doom!
TV Funnyman Stephen Colbert is understandably concerned about the emergence of Ebola in America, and by “concerned,” we mean thoroughly terrified that the virus has made it from “Whocaresistan” to our golden shores. Just don’t touch the fluids on the shores. “That is crap-your-pants terrifying,” Colbert explains, “in that crap-your-pants is one of the symptoms of Ebola.” And remember, you can “get Ebola just by coming in contact with an infected person’s bodily fluids, including ‘blood, sweat, feces, vomit, semen, and spit.’ So you might want to avoid the next Gathering of the Juggalos.” But Colbert refuses to let propaganda get to him! “I won’t be fooled into staying calm by the so-called ‘experts’ with their so-called ‘medical degrees’ and their so-called ‘fingers,'” he insisted. “And neither will the ‘Fox and Friends.'” Colbert then cut to a clip of Dr. Dalilah Restrepo attempting to reassure the easily-freaked-out Friends of Fox, which didn’t go quite as well as it could have: She coughed while talking to the three amigos. Read more on Stephen Colbert So Sad Now That Fox & Friends Got The Ebola (Video)…
  Obviously a false flag of some kind

Fox News Can’t Decide Whether Obama Is Trying To Cut Off Your Head Or Ebola You

Fox will not be fooled
It’s not as if we weren’t warned that Barack Obama was planning to let in all the terrorists to infect us with Ebola. But in case convicted “journalist” James O’Keefe is not your main source of Ebola news, the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention confirmed Tuesday that a man in Dallas has been identified as the first person in America diagnosed with the disease. Read more on Fox News Can’t Decide Whether Obama Is Trying To Cut Off Your Head Or Ebola You…
  How To Get A Head At Newscorp

Fox Idiot: Why Does Barack Obama Want You To Get Beheaded?

Just like the Rapture, any day now...
Hey, did you hear about that beheading in Oklahoma last week? Did you know that beheadings are on the rise here in U.S. America, with over 100% more beheadings by fired ex-convicts in September 2014 than in the whole rest of the year? Fortunately, killer Alton Nolen was stopped from attacking a second worker at Vaughan Foods when the company’s Chief Operating Officer, Mark Vaughan, shot him. This proves that if your executive staff includes an off-duty Sheriff’s Reserve deputy who is nearby with his or her weapon handy, you will never ever have to worry about more than one person at your business getting beheaded. Read more on Fox Idiot: Why Does Barack Obama Want You To Get Beheaded?…
  Do The Rice Thing

Fox & Friends Really Hurt You Thought They Were Joking About Wifebeating When They Joked About Wifebeating

Screenshot from Fox News employee training video
Women, huh? You can’t live with ‘em, you can’t punch ‘em unconscious in an elevator, know what I mean, fellas? And now it seems that a lot of sniveling liberals just can’t take a joke, as seen in the internet’s complete overreaction to some innocent banter on Fox & Friends yesterday, when Steve Doocy and Brian Kilmeade shared a harmless chuckle over the video of Ray Rice coldcocking Janay Palmer. Read more on Fox & Friends Really Hurt You Thought They Were Joking About Wifebeating When They Joked About Wifebeating…
  Violence In The NFL?

NFL Fires Ray Rice After Realizing Beating Up Women Is Bad, At Least If It’s On Video

New shirts for Doocy and Kilmeade
There is absolutely nothing funny about the new video that TMZ acquired, showing Ray Rice’s actual assault on his then-fiancée, Janay Palmer, back in February. It’s reprehensible, and the only good news in the whole horrible story is that Rice has been fired by the Baltimore Ravens. He’s also been placed on indefinite suspension by the NFL, and maybe on extra double-secret probation, too. We were a bit astonished when we saw that, and assumed that Rice must have been caught smoking pot or something. Read more on NFL Fires Ray Rice After Realizing Beating Up Women Is Bad, At Least If It’s On Video…
  Your morning cup of wut?

Fox Solves All Your Selfie Problems, Alaska Is REALLY Weird, And Other News You Can Maybe Use

Just look in the mirror
It’s hump day. So, uh, hump something? While some people are upset about nekkid self-portraits (what the kids these days who should get off our lawn call “selfies”) floating around the interwebs without their consent, Fox News has the perfect solution, as usual. Tell us what it is, Fox & Friends host Steve Doocy (he’s the blond one, we think): Read more on Fox Solves All Your Selfie Problems, Alaska Is REALLY Weird, And Other News You Can Maybe Use…
  Thugghazi

Laura Ingraham Explains That Thugs Gonna Thug

Think tank is so thinky
In times of civil unrest and racial tension and cops killing unarmed black teenagers, the number one expert you want to explain it to you is wingnut radio gum-flapper Laura Ingraham. That’s just obvious, at least if you are a Fox & Friends bobblehead: Read more on Laura Ingraham Explains That Thugs Gonna Thug…
  live remote comes a crapper

Unhelpful Fox Fans Fail To Get Outraged By Gender-Neutral Restroom Sign

Poor Fox Newsdouche Steve Doocy clearly didn’t prep his group of “Fox fans” well enough for this segment on Wednesday’s Fox & Friends. The point of the segment was to profess shock and horror at the “PC Police” at Illinois State University, which recently announced it would be re-designating “family restrooms” as “all-gender” restrooms, and putting up new signs on the doors, which every single member of the Fox & Friends cast professed to be utterly impossible to understand, because what are these crazy PC lunatics trying to cram down our throats in the bathroom anyway? Read more on Unhelpful Fox Fans Fail To Get Outraged By Gender-Neutral Restroom Sign…
  life tips for ladies

Princeton Mom Plus Fox & Friends Is Your New Match Made In Hell, America

Remember Princeton Mom? We love the Princeton Mom, Susan Patton! She’s that delightfully deluded anger lady that shamesplained to all the women about how college is a time for meeting men, not for book learning, and how you should stop waiting for that promotion at work and start making eyes at your handsome man boss. Of course she’s a living breathing made-for-Fox-TV movie, so she showed up on Fox & Friends on a segment that was titled, apparently completely unironically, “Husband Appreciation: Sage Advice For Wives.” Read more on Princeton Mom Plus Fox & Friends Is Your New Match Made In Hell, America…