Tag Archives: stephen colbert

 

Fox News Thinker Greg Gutfeld: Stephen Colbert Would Be Nothing Without Us (And Our F**kups)

You're looking at a guy who knows cool
Following Stephen Colbert’s big finale on the Colbert Report, the thought leaderers of Fox’s The Five shared their thoughts on Colbert’s sendoff. Dana Perino and Kimberly Guilfoyle thought it would have been a nice touch if Bill O’Reilly had been included in the big sing-along, apparently unaware that Colbert had said earlier in his final week that “no one’s going to pay me to watch [O’Reilly] anymore, so fuck that noise!” Read more on Fox News Thinker Greg Gutfeld: Stephen Colbert Would Be Nothing Without Us (And Our F**kups)…
  Here Is A Nice Thing For A Change

The Colbert Report Is No More. Long Live Stephen Colbert’s Best Moment Ever

As you probably noticed, The Colbert Report ran its final episode last night. It was a big sendoff for a beloved entertainment icon. But remember when he got just a little too real with George W. Bush at the 2006 White House Correspondents’ Dinner and people thought he’d gone too far? Read more on The Colbert Report Is No More. Long Live Stephen Colbert’s Best Moment Ever…
  we are the holodeck men

George Takei Was On The Colbert Report. Shut Up And Watch It (Video)

Oh my!
Stephen Colbert is one hella big fan of the old Star Wars television series — or as aficionados call themselves, a “Starry.” And so here he is, getting his nerd on with a suggestion to reform our midterm elections with an idea from Season 1, Episode 23, “A Taste of Armageddon,” in which Captain Jack Harkness and the crew of the Galactica travel to Eminiar VII. a planet where the messy, costly business of war has been handed over to computers, which launch simulated “attacks,” and then the people designated as casualties just go to disintegration booths while the economy and infrastructure remain unharmed, apart from the loss of life and the hideous embarrassing costumes. Why not do the same with midterm elections? “Nobody wants them to happen, they’re costing a ton of money, and I’m pretty sure Louie Gohmert is Ferengi.” Read more on George Takei Was On The Colbert Report. Shut Up And Watch It (Video)…
  Audio Clipbait

Here’s What Stephen Colbert Would Tell Studs Terkel If He Could

Wouldn't THAT be an interview?
From Slate, a pretty cool new feature that we’re going to try to keep up with: They’ve taken the simple idea of Studs Terkel’s outstanding oral history book Working: People Talk About What They Do All Day and How They Feel About What They Do — ” the best book you were assigned in college but didn’t read” — and turned it into a podcast. It’s a series of interviews by David Plotz, asking people what they do at their jobs — with a bit of a shift in emphasis from Terkel, who wanted to know how people feel about their jobs, to much more detail about how the job gets done. Read more on Here’s What Stephen Colbert Would Tell Studs Terkel If He Could…
  clipbait

Stephen Colbert So Sad Now That Fox & Friends Got The Ebola (Video)

Eyebrow of Doom!
TV Funnyman Stephen Colbert is understandably concerned about the emergence of Ebola in America, and by “concerned,” we mean thoroughly terrified that the virus has made it from “Whocaresistan” to our golden shores. Just don’t touch the fluids on the shores. “That is crap-your-pants terrifying,” Colbert explains, “in that crap-your-pants is one of the symptoms of Ebola.” And remember, you can “get Ebola just by coming in contact with an infected person’s bodily fluids, including ‘blood, sweat, feces, vomit, semen, and spit.’ So you might want to avoid the next Gathering of the Juggalos.” But Colbert refuses to let propaganda get to him! “I won’t be fooled into staying calm by the so-called ‘experts’ with their so-called ‘medical degrees’ and their so-called ‘fingers,'” he insisted. “And neither will the ‘Fox and Friends.'” Colbert then cut to a clip of Dr. Dalilah Restrepo attempting to reassure the easily-freaked-out Friends of Fox, which didn’t go quite as well as it could have: She coughed while talking to the three amigos. Read more on Stephen Colbert So Sad Now That Fox & Friends Got The Ebola (Video)…
  clipbait

Stephen Colbert Isn’t Afraid Of No Bleepin’ Bill O’Reilly (Video)

Parody is the sincerest form of flattery. Or mockery. Or both.
Poor Bill O’Reilly is just not getting any respect for his super-cool, super smart idea to fight ISIS with an international mercenary army. Last week, Colbert had the temerity to suggest that O’Reilly’s brilliant idea sounded like something that came out of a 4th-grader’s Trapper Keeper. Plus, Colbert had a plan of his own to supplement Billo’s, only his also included a team of “mutant double-ninja super soldiers with laser nunchucks”: Read more on Stephen Colbert Isn’t Afraid Of No Bleepin’ Bill O’Reilly (Video)…
  clipbait

Stephen Colbert Perplexed By This Muslim Sportsball Man And His Exotic Ways (Video)

Actual penalty; Holding... the wrong religious beliefs
Stephen Colbert is just as puzzled as we were about the curious case of the Kansas City player who was penalized for Muslim Tebowing — especially after the NFL decided, no, that wasn’t a penalty after all. It’s not so much the religious freedom question that has Colbert perplexed as a more fundamental matter: Why are Islamazoids like Husain Abdullah even playing in the NFL “if they’re not allowed to touch pig skin? What’s gonna happen? We’re gonna have to switch to Halal balls.” Read more on Stephen Colbert Perplexed By This Muslim Sportsball Man And His Exotic Ways (Video)…
  Qui a Coupé Le Fromage?

Stephen Colbert Heartlessly Taunts Evil Dictator Kim Jong-Un. With Cheese. (Video)

Dr. Emmenthal, I presume?
Here’s your late-afternoon Clipbait, with Stephen Colbert talking about North Korean wunderkind and Threat to World Peace Kim Jong-un and his fondness for cheese, which may actually have made him so sick that he can’t go out in public, maybe. Read more on Stephen Colbert Heartlessly Taunts Evil Dictator Kim Jong-Un. With Cheese. (Video)…
  the commentczar's in town

Deleted Comments Of The Day: Please Don’t Agree With Us Please

Go home, Celestia, you're drunk
We’ve got mail! Or at least we’ve got people who want to leave comments, but who are not going to be admitted to the Commentariat because we don’t especially want them tromping around our parlor, especially not with what they’ve tracked in on their boots. Today, our sluicing out of the ol’ comments queue starts off with a couple of submissions from people who sorta kinda agree with something Yr Wonkette has published, but there’s just something about the comments that suggests we may not really want to invite these folks in, probably. Read more on Deleted Comments Of The Day: Please Don’t Agree With Us Please…
  clipbait

Stephen Colbert Takes A Belt To Sean Hannity’s Love Of Child Beating (Video)

One of these men seems well adjusted
Stephen Colbert thinks the NFL is a pretty cool organization. “It’s America’s top forum for discussing issues of domestic violence. And I understand the employees also get together and play football on the weekends.” This, of course, brings us once again to the story of Adrian Peterson and his kinetic discipline methods, which left his four-year-old son with injuries all over his back and legs, and left Colbert “nostalgic for the days when [NFL] players were accidentally shooting themselves through their sweatpants.” But Colbert’s main focus Thursday was “Fox News’ Senior Nerf football chucker Sean Hannity” and his perfectly well-adjusted display of thwacking his belt on his desk to demonstrate how his father whipped him. “And I’ve never been to a shrink.” Read more on Stephen Colbert Takes A Belt To Sean Hannity’s Love Of Child Beating (Video)…
  clipbait

Stephen Colbert Didn’t Need To See Obama’s ISIS Speech To Be FURIOUS About It (Video)

Out. RAGE!
Stephen Colbert, the one conservative hero we all love, taped his Wednesday episode of the Colbert Report before President Obama addressed the nation on his strategy for dealing with ISIS. Which didn’t prevent Stephen from preemptively disagreeing with whatever it was Obama would say later that night, like any true conservative patriot would. And did. Read more on Stephen Colbert Didn’t Need To See Obama’s ISIS Speech To Be FURIOUS About It (Video)…
  clipbait

Stephen Colbert Outraged At Obama On Behalf Of Hispanish Community

Damn you Obama! as usual
On Monday’s Colbert Report, Stephen brought us up to speed on all the complicated ins and out of immigration reform: Tonight, the latest news on immigration reform. There, you’re all caught up. He then gave President Obama the comedic tongue-lashing he so richly deserves for stealing the Republican plan to delay immigration forever by perpetually promising to deal with it “next year.” Read more on Stephen Colbert Outraged At Obama On Behalf Of Hispanish Community…
  We Watch So You Don't Have To

The Sarah Palin Fartknocker Report, Presented By Fartknocker

The Sarah Palin Fartknocker Report, Presented by Fartknocker
When the Grifter Queen of The Last Frontier announced the creation of her own website/TV channel, we laughed along with the rest of you. “It’s just a way to make a quick buck, and she’ll probably quit halfway through, haw haw haw,” we larfed to ourselves. But it’s been a week, and she hasn’t quit yet, and one Wonketeer donated enough money — real American dollars — for a year’s subscription and a bonus Ulysses S. Grant to dull the pain of whichever sap got stuck watching, for you. Read more on The Sarah Palin Fartknocker Report, Presented By Fartknocker…
  clipbait

Wild-Eyed Commies Jon Stewart And Stephen Colbert Being Un-American Again

Won't someone think of the corporations?
Here’s a rare two-fer: Jon Stewart and Stephen Colbert both did segments Wednesday on the phenomenon of corporate “inversion” to escape U.S. taxes — the scheme whereby a U.S. company buys a smaller foreign company, then re-invents itself on paper as if its U.S. operations were merely a subsidiary of that foreign company. As Great American Patriot Allen West points out, it’s corporations’ patriotic duty to make as much money as they can while avoiding taxes, and to try to stop it would be socialism, and maybe a little perverted. Read more on Wild-Eyed Commies Jon Stewart And Stephen Colbert Being Un-American Again…
  clipbait

Stephen Colbert Lurves The Sarah Palin Channel Almost As Much As We Do

He's a fine one to talk -- he's quitting too
Stephen Colbert is just thrilled that Sarah Palin has started a new online TV channel where you can spend $9.95 a month to see her do “exactly what she’s always done, only — mmm– nothing else.” And sure, maybe it costs more than Netflix, but it promises to be “just as good as House of Cards, with even more threatening monologues into camera.” But who is Stephen Colbert to mock Sarah Palin for quitting? He’s quitting too, after all. Read more on Stephen Colbert Lurves The Sarah Palin Channel Almost As Much As We Do…
  clipbait

Stephen Colbert Just Loves Him Some Comic-Con Nerds, Also Rich People (Video)

Thwipp!
We’re going to throw a double dose of Stephen Colbert at you this morning, mostly because we’re just so darned indecisive. So hey, let’s go with TWO clips! First up, a potpourri from last weekend’s San Diego Comic-Con, that combination of fandom and media whoring that Colbert sums up as “an orgy… of people who will never be invited to the orgy.” And of course there’s shameless self-and-other promotion: Colbert hosted a panel for the next Peter Jackson movie, The Hobbit: Maybe We Could Have Stretched It Out To Four Movies, and is delighted to hear that Daniel Radcliffe is a fan of Stephen’s ice cream flavor. Excellent Marketingtainment! Read more on Stephen Colbert Just Loves Him Some Comic-Con Nerds, Also Rich People (Video)…
  clipbait

John McCain Said Jon Stewart Often ‘Absolutely Wrong.’ That May Have Been A Bad Idea (Video)

Oh, it is ON
On Fox News recently, John McCain told Howard Kurtz that Jon Stewart was unfair to Republicans, but that it didn’t matter because Stewart is merely one of those lying late-night comedians: “When he says things that are absolutely wrong he gets away with it … It is what it is. I frankly have no beef with late night comedians who make fun of politicians. That’s the nature of the business.” Well Jon Stewart will not let this aggression stand, man. Read more on John McCain Said Jon Stewart Often ‘Absolutely Wrong.’ That May Have Been A Bad Idea (Video)…
  clipbait

Stephen Colbert Warns: ISIS Is In Ur Twitter, Stealin’ Ur #Hashtags (Video)

Stephen Colbert got a little manic Tuesday night, bringing us the terrifying news about the Islamic State in Iraq and Syria (ISIS): they aren’t just taking over Iraq; they’re also dominating social media, building support on Twitter, Facebook, even Instagram. Read more on Stephen Colbert Warns: ISIS Is In Ur Twitter, Stealin’ Ur #Hashtags (Video)…
  This Is What We Did All Day

DJ Tanner Is Not Amused In Today’s Happy Links!

Hope you had a great work week and are heading to Happytown for the weekend! Hooray! Enjoy our tales of OJ Simpson, DJ Tanner, Carmen Electra, some motorcycle dude, Stephen Colbert, Ron Paul, and more! It’s a big ol’ party in today’s Happy Links. Read more on DJ Tanner Is Not Amused In Today’s Happy Links!…
  clipbait

Stephen Colbert Is Loving The Iraq Pack’s Reunion Tour (Video)

On Thursday’s Colbert Report, Stephen Colbert welcomed the reunion tour of his favorite band, even though they’re all just playing the base. John McCain is absolutely right, Stephen says: in 2009, America had the war won, “when we left Iraq a peaceful, smoldering democracy.” And even the leader of the Iraq Pack, Old Dead Eyes, is back, even if that mean old liberal Megyn Kelly is attacking him. Read more on Stephen Colbert Is Loving The Iraq Pack’s Reunion Tour (Video)…
  clipbait

Stephen Colbert Is Ready To De-Poutinize Canadian Anchor Baby Ted Cruz (Video)

Stephen Colbert is very happy that Sen. Ted Cruz (R-Alberta) has finally renounced his Canadian citizenship, but has serious doots aboot whether Cruz has actually managed to truly shed all the vestiges of his Canadianness. And so he generously offers to complete the Senator’s de-programming, to help him finally be a true American and stop tearing up whenever he hears Anne Murray. Step one: Punch a moose. And pay for your own healthcare. Read more on Stephen Colbert Is Ready To De-Poutinize Canadian Anchor Baby Ted Cruz (Video)…