GOOD THING YOU ARE ON THE INTERNET RIGHT NOW, AND NOT IN A SEX POSITION: A polite congratulations offered from a distance to the city of Washington, D.C. today, which the CDC just named the country’s #1 gross hotspot for highest rate of STDs. D.C. STD rates are three times that of Virginia and four times that of Maryland. Who knew those Late Night Shots people were even still alive? [My Fox DC]

Before you appear on a reality tee-vee program, make sure to read the STD clause in your release very carefully. Very very carefully. Because MTV will not fix your genitals if you dry-hump a love sack and then contract the crotch rot. Contractually, MTV is simply not responsible. It’s in your contract, understand? Good. Now sign here please. [Washington Examiner] MORE »

Not long ago, a reader reminded us of a heartwarming story about Senator and Presidential candidate Chris Dodd. It appeared in the now-defunct magazine Pop Smear a decade ago, but we remembered the gist: Chris Dodd has crabs. We got our hands on the Dodd issue recently, and are thrilled to share the rest of the facts with you.

* Author Cree McCree got crabs from X touring guitarist Tony G. (not, as we previously said, John Doe — sorry, John!)
* McCree was, at the time, involved romantically with Nick Dodd, Chris’ brother (not son — are you surprised that people who were reading Pop Smear in ‘97 have shoddy memories?).
* Nick caught the crabs, freaked out, was unable to rid himself of them.
* Nick went back to the Dodd compound for a while, and spent one night in Chris’ bed.
* Chris Dodd called his ne’er-do-well brother some time later to thank him for the pubic lice.
* Chris was also, at the time, rumored to be fucking Bianca Jagger.

Didn’t we say it was a heartwarming tale? President Dodd will be our favorite ever! The scanned page from the PS issue is after the jump. A very special thanks to former Pop Smear publisher James POPsmear for sending us the issue.

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A reader writes: MORE »