May 20, 2013
Happy Friday everyone! Did you have an awesome Valentine’s Day yesterday? Did you follow yr Wonket’s advice and fuck literally anyone besides one of the Vestal Virgins over in the rightwing blogosphere? Congrats! Oh and you should probably go over to Planned Parenthood after breakfast because you probably have the clap now: The United States’ [...]
Here’s some Public Service Announcement sent to your editor. Look how the happy, pretty girl totally scowls when your “helicopter” puts the condom on your “Washington Monument.” Gah, condoms! Don’t ruin another “sexy weekend in D.C.” by unrolling some gross old condom. Playas don’t need a raincoat!
The United States government has apologised for infecting hundreds of people in Guatemala with gonorrhoea and syphilis as part of medical tests more than 60 years ago. Whoops! No offer of compensation has been made yet but an investigation will be launched into the specifics of the study which took place over four years in [...]
GOOD THING YOU ARE ON THE INTERNET RIGHT NOW, AND NOT IN A SEX POSITION: A polite congratulations offered from a distance to the city of Washington, D.C. today, which the CDC just named the country’s #1 gross hotspot for highest rate of STDs. D.C. STD rates are three times that of Virginia and four [...]
Before you appear on a reality tee-vee program, make sure to read the STD clause in your release very carefully. Very very carefully. Because MTV will not fix your genitals if you dry-hump a love sack and then contract the crotch rot. Contractually, MTV is simply not responsible. It’s in your contract, understand? Good. Now [...]
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