Tag Archives: statistics

  Accuracy In Slut Shaming

Anti-Abortion Lady Does Math Proving Abortion Is Fake

Lesbian and/or baby-killer
So Thursday on the Twittersphere, some pro-choice ladies had a big internet event, telling their own stories of having had abortions, with the goal of reducing the stigma of talking about a legal medical procedure that one in three women have had. The 1 in 3 Campaign featured a hundred people telling their stories and tweeting about them. Read more on Anti-Abortion Lady Does Math Proving Abortion Is Fake…
  vinegarcoating the good news

Fox News Pretty Sure This Strong Jobs Report Proves Barack Obama Is Terrible

So, hey, some pretty good employment news today: The June jobs report from the Bureau of Labor Statistics shows that the economy added 288,000 jobs in June, and the unemployment rate dropped from 6.3% in May to 6.1% last month. That’s the lowest unemployment rate since September 2008. So, hooray for Our Economy, unless of course you’re Fox News, in which case you really need to make it look terrible. Read more on Fox News Pretty Sure This Strong Jobs Report Proves Barack Obama Is Terrible…
  that ain't no way to treat a low pressure system

Science Spotlight: Maybe If They Named The Lady Hurricanes ‘Lorena’

Researchers at the University of Illinois released a study that suggests that people are just plain sexist when it comes to hurricanes: Hurricanes with feminine names may kill three times as many victims because people do not perceive them as being as threatening as storms named after men, scientists said Monday […] “A hurricane with a relatively masculine name is estimated to cause 15.15 deaths, whereas a hurricane with a relatively feminine name is estimated to cause 41.84 deaths,” said the study. “In other words, our model suggests that changing a severe hurricane’s name from Charley to Eloise could nearly triple its death toll.” Isn’t science neat? Maybe? Read more on Science Spotlight: Maybe If They Named The Lady Hurricanes ‘Lorena’…
  clipbait

John Oliver And Bill Nye Fix Everything That’s Wrong With Climate Change Reporting (Video)

John Oliver and Last Week Tonight just keep nudging us ever closer to actually getting HBO. Take, for instance, this segment on climate change, which really should provide the template for all further news coverage of people who deny the evidence. When the U.S. Global Change Research Program released a report last week stating that climate change is not just a concern for the future, but is already having real, measurable effects, Media Matters noted that a ridiculously large percentage of cable news reporting on the new report included false balance from climate deniers. Happily, Oliver has the answer to a Gallup poll showing 1 in 4 Americans don’t believe climate change is real: Read more on John Oliver And Bill Nye Fix Everything That’s Wrong With Climate Change Reporting (Video)…
  how's that wellregulated militia workin' out for ya?

Oh, Look, More Terrible People With Terrible Defenses Of ‘Stand Your Ground’

We are now officially in the “Stupid people make us want to scream” portion of the Michael Dunn trial, when every moron possible will try to outdo the last. For starters, how about Florida state Rep. Matt Gaetz, who disagreed with the verdict and believes Dunn should have been found guilty of murder, but couldn’t just stop there, of course. He had to add that the state’s “Stand Your Ground” law is pretty excellent, all in all: “I don’t think anyone is going to nominate George Zimmerman or Michael Dunn for person of the year,” Gaetz explained to CNN host Carol Costello. “But I think, overall, the Stand Your Ground law has worked for the state of Florida. If you look at the five years preceding Stand Your Ground’s passage, the murder rate was on the rise Florida every year. Since we passed Stand Your Ground, the murder rate had declined every year.” Causation: how does it work? Murder rates have been declining nationwide, regardless of whether states have SYG. But then Gaetz had to top himself and claim that Stand Your Ground is also Good For The Blacks: Read more on Oh, Look, More Terrible People With Terrible Defenses Of ‘Stand Your Ground’…
  275 is the loneliest number

The Daily Caller Has Conquered All The Internets, Bow Before The Daily Caller (Update)

Update/Correction: A couple of emails to the Wonkette tipline have pointed out that, in our lust for mathematical slobberknockery, we got a couple of things DEAD WRONG in this story. We mislabeled the first two charts in our piece, which we said showed flat readership stats at Daily Caller. These charts, copied from the DC post, actually show flat readership at Politico, and the text in the DC article says so. It was sloppy reading and editing on our part, and we apologize for the error. Even so, our final graph comparing the two sites is correct, and accurately shows the Daily Caller has done nothing that could even accidentally be interpreted as “surging” any time in the past year. The Daily Caller must have been doing some pretty crazy yoga moves lately, because Sunday night, at exactly 8:07 p.m., they managed to successfully give themselves a blowjob. “Daily Caller blazes past Politico in web traffic; leaves other establishment, liberal sites in rearview mirror.” That was the headline. Apparently “DAILY CALLER CONQUERS WORLD, LIBERALS DIE ALL ALONE” just wasn’t SEO-friendly enough. Tastefulness aside, that’s a pretty intense claim they’re making over there — they made it lead story under the headline “THE DAILY CALLER SURGES,” so they must be doing super well, right? …right? Read more on The Daily Caller Has Conquered All The Internets, Bow Before The Daily Caller (Update)…
  it's always obama in philadelphia

Fox Nation: Did Obama Voter Fraud All Of Philadelphia?

In fifty-nine Philadelphia voting divisions, Mitt Romney received zero votes. Fifty-nine. Zero. Italics. Fox Nation posts this Philadelphia Inquirer article, leaving their commentariat to worry that maybe Obama totally vote-frauded the city, and Romney would have won if not for Obama’s grand scheme to totally eliminate Republicans from 3.5% of the total precincts in Philadelphia, a city he won with 85% of the vote. Read more on Fox Nation: Did Obama Voter Fraud All Of Philadelphia?…
  murder for life

United States Now Killing Fewer of Its Own Citizens

The total number of people executed by states and the federal government fell by 12 percent this year, according to a new study on America’s lack of balls. It’s now at the lowest level since 1976, when the Supreme Court decided it was legal once again for governments to do their favorite thing: Killing their own citizens, many of whom turn out later to be guilty of no crime. This is perhaps the most glaring sign that this country has lost its trademark murderous masculinity. But maybe not: It turns out many states have had trouble paying for today’s modern killing supplies, and shortages of lethal injection drugs caused five states to postpone or even cancel their prisoner execution shows. American governance is in absolute crisis right now. It is incapable of killing enough of its citizens. Read more on United States Now Killing Fewer of Its Own Citizens…
  plus nighttime is for 'fourthmeal' now

Recession Drags On & Crime Keeps Falling, Because America Is Too Fat

For the third straight year, even as the Great Recession pummels ever more people into poverty, the national crime rate has dropped. Murder, rape, burglary — almost every kind of criminality has fallen, with the rate of violent crime and property crime dropping by another 5% in 2009. Since 1991, the United States has seen the murder and manslaughter rate drop by half, violence in general fall by a third, and automobile theft dropping by half in real numbers. There are many theories about this steady collapse of America’s Criminal Will, from our insane rate of imprisonment to low (or no) price inflation. But what if our country’s sad, impoverished people are simply too obese to go out and do the hard work of mugging or busting into houses? Read more on Recession Drags On & Crime Keeps Falling, Because America Is Too Fat…
  fun with statistics

1.38% of Fox News’ Audience Is Black People, Which Seems a Bit High

It turns out that America’s News Network, Fox News, is not really watched at all by black people, which explains why they are so misinformed that they support this Obama fellow. This “finding” is according to some sort of math or science stuff, however, so it is probably a lie (and also Jesus has provided all of His children a live feed of Fox News in their hearts, so black people maybe just need to believe harder to see it). It just doesn’t make any sense that CNN and MSNBC’s audiences are about 20% black, yet the real news is only watched by 1.38% of Obama’s Chosen People. Read more on 1.38% of Fox News’ Audience Is Black People, Which Seems a Bit High…
  summer vacation tips

Rhode Island Is #1 … In Drugs!

Only three types of human come from Rhode Island: Portuguese people; descendants of fancy old-money white people with comical names like “Claiborne”; and dope fiends. A new study proves it! Read more on Rhode Island Is #1 … In Drugs!…
  illiteracy will prevail

Important Crime Statistic Is Just A Frequently Retold Lie

Hey did you know that if you are a failure at third grade, the government just assumes that you’ll be a criminal forever? No? Well good, because that isn’t true anyhow. For many moons, Democratic candidates have repeated this old saw about states using third-grade reading scores as a predictor for how many prison beds they’ll need in 15 years. This sounds like exactly the sort of sad, spooky metric that governments would use to determine how doomed its citizens are, but apparently nobody actually uses it. Read more on Important Crime Statistic Is Just A Frequently Retold Lie…
  our flourishing economy

Unemployment Problem Finally Solved

You’ve done it, America! You have already shed so many jobs that you are running out of remaining jobs to lose. That means new unemployment filings for last week were not quite as awful as unemployment filings for the previous week, and were the lowest since late January! We have turned a corner, etc! Read more on Unemployment Problem Finally Solved…
  math and numbers

NO JOBS LEFT TO LOSE: New jobless claims fell this week, hooray, due to the number of jobs in the US forming an asymptote with zero. Continuing jobless claims, meanwhile, are just staggering and awful, a wretched 5.47 million and counting. Start growing your Victory Gardens now, because otherwise you might not have food next winter. [MSNBC] Read more on …
  shocking statistics

North Dakota, Steaming Cesspool Of Political Corruption

Well FINALLY we have a state we can make fun of here on the Wonkette because none of its fourteen (14) residents have time to read this dumb Web site — they’re all still busy staying employed, at actual jobs! (The recession, which loses velocity as it cools, has not yet crept into the snowy north.) So let’s talk some shit about North Dakota while all those lamers toil at the wheel of industry. Let’s see, uh, North Dakota is the Mexico of Canada! Also, all of its politicians are crooks, all two of them. Read more on North Dakota, Steaming Cesspool Of Political Corruption…
  dork wars

Nate Silver Cussed Out By Angry Wingnut

Wow! One might have guessed, given his charmingly nerdsome appearance and general blinky “how do I translate from numbers into English?” mannerisms that Nate Silver would be somewhat conflict averse. But no man he BRINGS IT. He interviewed some guy who commissioned a Zogby poll that proved, factually, that Obama voters are all a bunch of ignorant black Muslims. There’s even a YouTube to prove it! Anyhow Silver called up this very shirty gentleman John Ziegler to discuss his survey methods. Ziegler called him a pinhead and said many hilariously nasty things. Read more on Nate Silver Cussed Out By Angry Wingnut…
  send them all to france

Undecided Voters Not That Important After All

Well HA now you don’t have to feel so bad about actually watching the news and having opinions about who the president should be! You, the “decided voter,” are actually just as important as the undecideds. This mythical group of undecided dunderheads with a mystical power to sway elections through the force of their procrastinatory ignorance is actually not that important, because they do not tend to break overwhelmingly toward one candidate or the other. Or if they do, there aren’t enough of them to really change the picture. Read more on Undecided Voters Not That Important After All…
  the lady or the elf?

HOW SCREWED IS MICHELE BACHMANN? DETAILS AT 11: SurveyUSA will release a tasty new poll for Minnesota’s District 6 at 11pm Eastern tonight. Prediction: Bachmann is winning by 50 points, at least. [SurveyUSA] Read more on …
  polls are just statistics

NYT/CBS NEWS POLL RESPONDENTS IN THE TANK: “As voters have gotten to know Senator Barack Obama, they have warmed up to him, with more than half, 53 percent, now saying they have a favorable impression of him … But as voters have gotten to know Senator John McCain, they have not warmed, with only 36 percent of voters saying they view him favorably.” Fact: Many American voters are anti-American, and should be investigated by Michele Bachmann post haste. [New York Times] Read more on …
  he cheats by winning

OBAMA LEADS BY 14 POINTS AMONG LIKELY VOTERS: “The Obama-Biden ticket now leads the McCain-Palin ticket 53 percent to 39 percent among likely voters, a 14-point margin. One week ago, prior to the Town Hall debate that uncommitted voters saw as a win for Obama, that margin was just three points. ” Too bad he’s a robot! Pointy-headed intellectual Nate Silver suggests the CBS News poll result may be “a modest outlier,” so do not get your panties in a lather just yet. [CBS News] Read more on …
  that's ageist

JOHN McCAIN ONE-THIRD DEAD ALREADY: “There is a roughly 1 in 3 chance that a 72-year-old man will not reach the age of 80, which is how old McCain would be at the end of a second presidential term. And that doesn’t factor in individual medical history, such as McCain’s battles with potentially lethal skin cancer.” This is why it’s so important to get him elected as quickly as possible, before pieces start falling off. [Politico] Read more on …
  math and numbers

Tracking Poll Reveals John McCain Is President Of Monday

Oh hey look it’s another tracking poll! The latest Rasmussen dealy shows that John McCain is tied with Barack Obama at 44%, but if you include “leaners,” the geezer beats the pants off the charismatic upstart with a whopping 47% to Obama’s crappy old 46%. JOHN MCCAIN IS PRESIDENT OF LEANERS! Read more on Tracking Poll Reveals John McCain Is President Of Monday…