Wonkette

Vito Fossella, Staten Island’s beloved congressman, won America’s heart with his drunk driving, mistress-having, love-child-fathering ways. Of course, such a free spirit could not stay in Congress so he planned not to run for re-election. The Staten Island Republican Party searched and searched for somebody to run for Fossella’s spot, and all these people said, “Uh no thanks I have to floss my dog,” and finally a nice man named Frank Powers said “OK I’ll do it,” but now he is dead. Maybe our Vito will reconsider his retirement plans. Two more years! [SILive.com]

DRUNK, ILLEGITIMATE BABY-MAKING CONGRESSMAN IS PITIFUL: According to the New York Daily News, still-active Rep. Vito Fossella of New York, who likes to get drunk and make babies with women who aren’t his wife, is “hiding out in a tiny apartment above a garage at his sister’s Staten Island house.” [NYDN]

FOSSELLA TO RESIGN? Drunken Congressman Vito Fossella, who has a 3-year-old illegitimate child, will apparently resign within 72 hours. And that will be the end of New York City’s only Republican congressman. [WNBC 4]

It has not been a very good week or so for Drunk Congressman Vito Fossella (R-NY). Last week he was arrested in Northern Virginia for drunk driving. He was in Northern Virginia to go see his family, he told police — his secret OTHER family, that is! He acknowledged today that he had a child out of wedlock who is now three years old. So apparently he only visits that one while drunk? He has apologized to his wife and three “real” children, who unfortunately live in Staten Island, with him. [AP]