Possibly sexy sex news out of sexy upstate New York, which is for lovers! Tom Golisano, a richy-rich New York guy who has dabbled heavily in state politics over the years, got annoyed with the state Senate majority leader for ignoring his entreaties not to raise taxes on the vulnerable ultrawealthy and subsequently had a hand in the whole Repubican [Ha whoops! "Republican." -- Ed.] COUP upstate. But, more excitingly, he is also allegedly dating Monica Seles. Are there really not enough wealthy and semi-famous people to go around these days, that tennis stars must go trolling in Albany for dates? MORE »

Who cares about the stupid New Yorker cover? It just makes the silly-sallies at the Obama campaign look like, uh, silly-sallies, and makes the New Yorker look terribly unfunny, which it is, except for that Anthony Lane who is a stitch. No, the New Yorker is a not a comedic but a Journalistic magazine — and it can also help you figure out your summer vacations plans! Since you all have no homes or money, consider spending your “staycation” this way: roll yourself in a barrel down the street to your nearest public library with free Internet access, go to NewYorker.com and spend an ENTIRE WEEK reading Ryan Lizza’s 15,000-word — that’s 15 internet pages! — opus on Barack Obama’s Chicago days. What fun! We heard that Barack Obama threatens to kick someone’s ass in the piece, and since we are Dumb Americans, we found this juicy bit and read nothing else. MORE »