Tag: state of the union

Killing In The Name Of Keurig. Wonkagenda For Mon., Nov. 13, 2017

How could Hannity just kill a Keurig, Republicans are trying to push the Trump/Ryan tax cut (for the super rich only), and the NSA's hacker problem. Your morning news brief.

New WH Comms Director Anthony Scaramucci Stepping On Donald Trump’s Dick

Anthony Scaramucci: presidential spokesman or performance artist?

Idiot Trump Lawyer Incredibly Good At Stepping On Own Dick Repeatedly

The WEAK AND FAILING JAY SEKULOW, everyone!

Donald Trump Not Under Investigation Yes He Is No He Isn’t GO FUCK YOURSELF SHUT UP

It depends on what the meaning of the word 'is' is.

Donald Trump To Address Congress Tonight, Because That’s What ‘Presidents’ Do

Everything you never wanted to know about Trump's address to Congress tonight!

Obama Secretly Taking Leaks Everywhere! Wonkagenda For Tues., Feb. 28, 2017

Paul Manafort stepped in something in Ukraine, Obama's pulling ALL the strings, and Tom Perez and Keith Ellison are best buds. Your morning news brief!

Donald Trump Doesn’t Like It When You Call His Boyfriend Putin A ‘Killer’

Why does Donald Trump hate America?

Trickster Demon Obama Takes Old Fart’s Guns Away, By Not Taking Old Fart’s Guns Away

Will Obama stop at NOTHING to pry every gun out of every cold, clammy, dead head in America?

Let’s Meet Obama’s Sexxxy Silver Fox SCOTUS Nominee, Merrick Garland!

Hooray, the president of America, Barack the Great, has made a nominee to replace Dead Antonin Scalia's rotting flesh 'n' bones on the Supreme Court! Don't you want to know everything about him? No? Well SUCKS TO BE YOU...

Obama Nominates White Dude For Dead Scalia’s Supreme Court Seat, GOP Obviously Appalled

Despite stern warnings from Senate Republicans that so-called "President" Obama better not do anything crazy, like act as if he is the president, the wussy tyrant usurper-in-chief has decided once again to invite them to perform sexual relations on...
Donald Trump with his First Lady AKA his daughter.

BREAKING: Donald Trump Wins Iowa Caucuses!

Guys, hot off the presses and BREAKING! and all of that stuff. The final Iowa caucus results have been released, by Donald Trump's brain, and it turns out Ted Cruz did NOT win. Turns out Trump was the winner...
I'M CRAWLING!

Ted Cruz’s Illegal Poutine Farts And Mike Huckabee’s Duggar Tantrums: Your Weekly Top Ten

Oh hey Wonkers, what's up? Are you having a nice January Saturday morning, lounging in your sex onesies? Good! Are you ready to read your weekend top ten list? Oh good, we are glad for that too! Put on...

Now Cancer Has Killed Alan Rickman. Screw You, Cancer

You know what? Just ... no: Alan Rickman, one of the best-loved and most warmly admired British actors of the past 30 years, has died in London aged 69. His death was confirmed on Thursday by his family who said...

Congressperv Steve King Happy To Shuck His Corncob Over RINO Nikki Haley

Trigger warning for ew gross disgusting nasty stop it, just stop it, too late, here we go, GAHHHHHHHHHH: The Republican representative from the Fried-Ethanol-On-A-Stick State has already pledged his monogamous undying NO HOMO love to Ted Cruz, whose stellar "principled conservative" values...

Breitbart Does Great Job Fact-Checking Obama’s SOTU, Except For All The Facts

Shortly after the president concluded his final State of the Union, Breitbart -- the internet's shrieking, shit-throwing chimpanzee colony -- decided to "fact-check" the speech. It went as badly as you'd expect. Because we really love rubbing salt in the wounds of human beings as...