Everyone very politely say “hello” to John King, who will be taking over journalism now that Lou Dobbs is no longer with us. King’s current gig is hosting State of the Union, which exists. According to Michael Calderone, one of “the good ones” at POLITICO: “The move reflects the network’s stated ambitions to be viewed as non-partisan in the evenings, as opposed to MSNBC and Fox, which boasts more outspoken commentators on the left and right.” However, Lou Dobbs will secretly stay on as Legitimate John King. [Michael Calderone]

Aaugh, David Brooks, cruel temptor! He writes these laughable columns that say “maybe the President should take a cautious, incrementalist approach to address the SWEEPING TSUNAMI OF FINANCIAL RUIN that threatens to cripple America for a generation,” but then he talks such hilarious smack about Bobby Jindal. So for today, Brooks is an alright guy. He is giddy at the downfall of his own party. [NewsHour via Ben Smith]

This ad and another one like it have apparently been plastering the conservative Internets today in the Louisiana Governor’s latest “viral marketing” move for his nascent 2012 presidential campaign. Jindal will be delivering the response to Barack Obama’s make-believe State of the Union address tonight, so this is basically his big national debutante ball, and he will have to put out for someone. This is good news… for John McCain. [Town Hall]

It’s been a long hard road, people. We’ve had some hard times, havin’ some hard times still. But fellow Americans, one thing is true, so undeniably true: George W. Motherfucking Bush Junior is gone. Yes he is! Feels good. Feels good knowing that ignorant motherfucker is back in Dallas, let Texas have him back, right? Back with his own goddammned people, the old America, the old dumb America. Let’s drink to Change tonight, and Hope, and to a variety of other words and phrases we expect to hear as President Barack Obama makes his first address to a joint session of Congress. It’s the first-ever historical President Barack Obama drinking game! MORE »

• THE ELECTION STARTS NOW: The GOP has confirmed that Lousiana child-governor Bobby Jindal will deliver the party’s response to Barack Obama’s fake “State of the Union” speech on February 24. Other finalists the GOP considered include Michael Steele, a vagina, and the Chinese guy who does John Boehner’s laundry. [AP]

This historic occasion deserves two posts on Wonkette, because pretty much anything deserves at least two posts on Wonkette. Anyway, George W. Bush is solving the economies right now. Are you excited? He is going to let us trust patients and doctors, and there will be, uh, some kind of government bonds we can purchase with the money we don’t have to keep our homes out of foreclosure. MORE »

Mr. President George W. Bush is about to get in the hearse! And then the long scary car is going to drive, uh, a few blocks to Capitol Hill, and they won’t be stopping for red lights. So if this was your big night to stop the Iraq War by, say, blocking the crosswalks … well, good luck with that. Let’s liveblog this freaking thing and immediately forgot it ever happened. MORE »

PROGRAMMING NOTE: We’ll be back with horrific liveblogging of the State of the Union address tonight at 8 p.m. Washington time. Are you ready for the 2008 SOTU Drinking Game?

Since January 2001, when our then-new President Bush gave his first fake State of the Union address — it was actually a “budget message,” as he had only been in the White House a few hours and hadn’t yet screwed up the country forever — America has gathered together for one glorious evening each January for our most precious freedom. Yes, we are talking about binge drinking while George W. Bush mispronounces common words on the teevee. MORE »

State of the Union, blah blah, economy, expectations, legacy … wait, what? MORE »