state of the union
A Children’s Treasury Of Nugentian SOTU Antics
That gentleman in the bluejeans up there, leaning uncomfortably into the aisle at the State of the Union address is one Ted Nugent, whose reputation preceded him. Seated next to him, at the invitation of Oregon Rep. Earl Blumenauer, is another musician, Pink Martini’s Thomas Lauderdale, from Portland. Besides performing hip retro lounge music, Lauderdale [...]
When Is The GOP Response To The State of the Union? When Is The Tea Party Response To The State of the Union? When Is ‘My Little Pony’ On?
The GOP Response to the most exciting SOTU evaris real soon! The Tea Party Response to the SOTU is after that! Marco Rubio is giving the official GOP response, and Rand Paul is giving the Tea Party response. Neither is expected to be as entertaining as that one time when Kenneth the NBC Page gave [...]
Michelle Obama Invites Awesome Haitian Lady To SOTU FLOTUS Box
Your FLOTUS correspondent can smell an ABC Family original movie a mile away, and this one smells like some combination of Ruby Bridges, that documentary about the choir for elderly people, and scallions. It is the story of Desaline Victor. Who is Desaline Victor? “At age 102, it’s possible Desaline Victor is the oldest guest [...]
‘It’s The Deficit, Stupid,’ Says Fantastically Stupid Man Advising Obama On State Of The Union
Chris Cillizza of the Washington Post writes a column called the “Fix,” an utterly pointless screed containing the deep thoughts of a man whose views on politics are indistinguishable from any of the other Caddyshack extras haunting the Wa-Po editorial board. Cillizza (like so many before him) has made a career out of disguising the [...]
Herman Cain Gives SOTU Response Sadly Bereft of 9-9-9 Mentions
Herman Cain had the honor of delivering the Tea Party’s official rebuttal to Obama’s State of the Union address, and praise Jesus, the thing is only 13 minutes long. Oddly, it does not mention 9-9-9. It also was only streamed on the Tea Party Express website, owing to the fact that part of the Tea [...]
Liveblogging the Sorry State of the Union! Which Is Still Around!
Yo yo yo! We are not hosting a children’s Game of Thrones-themed birthday party with Obama as the entertainment/clown, as this picture might indicate. But we ARE conveying to you the state of the State of the Union of 2012! Which — here that thing is. The boring old Oval Office has already LEAKED INFORMATIONS [...]
Occupy Wall Street’s Scripted SOTU Response ‘Embargoed’ By PR Company
The dull evidence of a typical hack political campaign is the “embargoed” speech or statement sent out many hours before the event it is supposed to address. And now we’ve got this email from a big P.R. firm claiming that the Occupy Wall Street response to Obama’s State of the Union speech is contained within [...]
Romney Hoping SOTU Will Cancel Out Release Of His Tax Returns
The rather thorough thumping Mitt Romney got in the South Carolina primary Saturday finally convinced our ever petulant office seeker to release his latest tax returns for the consumption of a barbarous public. After getting his spot blown up by Newt Gingrich, of all insufferable monsters, Mitt appears to have realized that stammering with indignation [...]
Homeless Child Spared Usual Fate of Homeless Children Due To Rare Intellectual Gifts
Here is an “inspirational story” to make everybody happier about homelessness, etc.: A 17-year-old girl has been saved from homelessness, and a celebrity has given her poor family a home, all because the 17-year-old girl is an immensely gifted science prodigy. After becoming a semifinalist in a prestigious national science competition, a homeless Long Island [...]
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