state of the union

Bill O’Reilly got Barack, Jimmy Fallon got Michelle, so it’s only fair that Seth Meyers would get the Vice President. If any other special Teevee events come along, they’ll have to choose between Dr. Jill Biden or the President Pro Tempore of the Senate; it’s in the Constitution. (Do Al Haig jokes even work anymore?) […]

Our first submission in the pending comment queue, that purgatory where first-time comments wait to be approved or flushed, came in reply to the story about how Wendy Davis told filthy lies about being a “single mother” when she was in fact a “separated but living alone whilst not yet having filed for divorce” mother, […]

So, y’all remember that vagina’d monologue from the lady who gave the official, not-in-Spanish GOP response to Dictator Obama’s State of the Union speechy thingy? Yeah, the one who seemed all sweet and stuff, until you listened to her words, which were fluff and boring, and apparently full of lies. Because when you are addressing […]

Beer. As the great philosopher said, it is the cause of and solution to all life’s problems. And one brave man was trying to make it easier for people to cause and/or solve problems, by using good ol’ American ingenuity to find a better, faster, easier way to get your frothy goodness to you. From […]

Jon Stewart is in beautiful form in this analysis of post-SOTU Republican talking points. The only problem with the night’s theme — Obama just doesn’t want to do Bipartisanship — Stewart says, “is that it’s total bullshit..Premium, Grade-A grass fed free range bullshit. Collected and packaged by hand…” And then he starts getting mean. It’s […]

Thanks to the wonders of modern digital recording technology, we have this “Vine” thing from “Now This Politics,” showing Old Handsome Joe Biden being his usual awesome self during the State of the Union Address. Your assignment, O Wonkaderos, is to make up a funny caption for it and post it in the comments by […]

Sorry, were you feeling left out because we told you that Cathy McMorris Rodgers was America’s New Sweetheart, but your sweetheart tastes do not run towards ladies, thankyewverymuch? Never fear. We are all-inclusive in our sweetheart finding and loving and praising here at Wonkette, and we have found you a delightful male counterpart to Chatty […]

By all reasonable measures, Utah Sen. Mike Lee’s response to the State of the Union address was a huge success: He knew where the camera was, he didn’t go lunging off to the side to grab a water bottle, and he boldly articulated the innovative idea that government is the source of all our problems. […]

Gentlemen, did you wake up this morning with a little extra pep in your Mr. Peepers? We sure did, because WE FINALLY GOT OUR PRESIDENT BACK! It’s like that awesome hopey and changey guy from 2008 snuck back out and sucker-punched the GOP right in the nards with like a million awesome words at the […]

At your Wonkette HQ, which is way less funner than the Daily Caller HQ, which is neither here nor there but anyway, we do not particularly care for the sniveling weasel shitbag “person” Ben Shapiro. We think he is not so nice! But even so, because we are liberals, and good-hearted, and can separate a […]

So how about that State of the Union response, huh? No, not Mike Lee, though we’re sure that was adorable. Nope, not Rand Paul. We couldn’t even find his speech. The lady one. No, not the Spanglish-speaking one. The OTHER lady. The one that spoke American but gave the same speech. Cathy John Jacob Jingleheimer […]

Some crazy shit went down after the State of the Union, and we’re not talking about Michael Grimm. Rachel Maddow asks Kansas Rep. Tim Huelskamp to elaborate on the tweets he sent during the speech, and he quickly accelerates from grumpy to bonkers. Say hello to your new anger-bear star, America! READ MORE

What time is the 2014 State of the Union SOTU Fox News? It is at 8:55 Eastern ET Time. What time is the Wonkette Livebloog time-stamped word salad refresh your browser to update liveblog? IT IS ABOUT AN HOUR AGO. Welcome to part two of your nonsense! Nonsensers! 10:09 p.m.: And we’re back! That was […]

Hello all! Whatcha doing this evening? Anything going on? Oh, it is the State of the Union, or, as we call it in momma’s house, time to turn this bitch out? Hahahah, just kidding, there will be no pimping because there are no ads in January; all the ad people shot their wads in the […]

Did you already check out our handy guide to what time and where the State of the Union is on and what you should drink? Were you feeling like you could probably manage those rules for an hour or two days or however long it is that Barack is going to talk at you? Well, […]