state legislatures

Oh hai! Welcome to this edition of Our Cold Dead Hands, Wonkette’s weekly look at the state of the gun debate in America, where evil liberals bent on controlling every aspect of your lives continue their efforts to disarm the brave patriots who are the only line of defense between you and the FEMA death […]

Good news, people of Tennessee: we get to discuss your state legislature again this morning! Oh, put away your groans. This guy you’ve got, state Rep. Kelly Keisling, had such a smart insight into the future of American politics that he took the liberty of emailing it to his constituents. How’s the rest of 2012 […]

Colorado state Rep. Marsha Looper’s campaign manager, Lana Fore-Warkocz, was so excited about her boss voting against civil unions that she simply had to get on the email machine and spread the word to supporters! Marsha Looper is not only a hero for stickin’ it to the gays, see, but she’s an extra-double hero because […]

North Carolina science people have determined that coastal sea levels are expected to rise 1 meter by 2100 — far more than they’ve traditionally risen, due to the expected impacts of climate change. But developers in 20 coastal counties, see, have determined that such a rise would be bad for development prospects. So they’ve lobbied […]

New Jersey’s Senate passed a gay marriage bill today! Now it will go to the state Assembly, which will pass it, because Assemblies pass everything. Then it will hit the desk of the good Governor Sandwiches of New Jersey, Chris Christie, who will veto it and then curse out some teachers, for his breakfast dessert.

While Morgan Griffith is now merely majority leader of the Virginia House of Delegates, one day he shall become the Republican White Obama, of Ancient Prophecy. Because why the fuck not, right? This is some Real American cred here: “Griffith also has an odd fondness for dressing up like one of his heroes, Revolutionary War […]

HA HA ACTUAL MAINSTREAM RACISM  1:55 pm March 11, 2010

by Jim Newell

WINGNUTS FURIOUS OVER… WELL, ANY MUSLIM: “RICHMOND — Hundreds of people are urging legislators to boycott the House of Delegates’ floor session on Thursday, when a Falls Church imam whom they accuse of condoning violence and defending terrorism is set to deliver the opening prayer.” It’s funny, because this particular imam has been one of […]

It sounds scary when it’s written like this: “Gov. Pat Quinn today called for a 33 percent increase in the state income tax rate to raise money for education and ease deep cuts he’s proposed in his new budget plan.” Less scary when it’s written like this: “Quinn wants to increase the personal income tax […]

California State Sen. Roy Ashburn, a major family values, anti-gay Republican father of four, also likes to FUCK MEN IN THE ASS. He was pulled over and given a DUI the other night while returning from a Sacramento gay nightclub. Riding in the car with him was another man whom Ashburn was going to rail […]

BECAUSE HE IS BLIND  3:26 pm February 25, 2010

by Jim Newell

DAVID PATERSON’S FRIENDS ARE LEAVING! Did you hear that the New York Times finally got around to writing something vaguely damning about David Paterson? One of his aides beat up a nice lady, on Halloween, and David Paterson later called her and asked her not to make a hot mess of it, because of politics. […]

TRUE STORIES  4:42 pm February 22, 2010

by Jim Newell

EVERYONE LISTEN TO THIS ‘BOB MARSHALL’: “RICHMOND — State Delegate Bob Marshall of Manassas says disabled children are God’s punishment to women who have aborted their first pregnancy.” Bob Marshall would know this, considering the several hundred abortions he had just this morning. [News Leader]

Until this interstate race-to-the-bottom makes its next road trip, Minnesota will now be our Realest American state. Here’s how Timmy Pawlenty wants to eliminate his huge budget deficit (which, to be fair, is a monumentally shitty task for any governor): “Aid to cities, counties and health and human services took the deepest cuts in Pawlenty’s […]

Utah. It’s one of those states that we just have to deal with. Its legislature has just passed a resolution that… uh… well it tells the fedril gubmints to LAY OFF THEIR FREEDOMS and put a sock in this Climate Change scam, because look. Look at all the fukkin’ snow. Fukkin’ everywhere. Mountains, ground, trees. […]

“We’re talking about taking the penis of a man and putting it in the rectum of another man and wriggling it around in excrement. And you have to think, would I want that to be done to me?” Oof. Time for Nancy Elliott’s husband to lower his expectations. [YouTube]

Former Missouri House Speaker Rod Jetton, who was arrested Monday night for allegedly beating the fucking shit out of a ladyfriend during a case of BDSM gone wrong — possibly because he had roofied her, which made it super hard for her to say “green balloons” during the fifth or sixth donkey punch and/or choking […]