Did you see this YouTube yet! It involves the latest comical statement from America’s most famous super-homophobic state senator, Chris Buttars of Utah: “I meet with the gays here and there. They were in my house two weeks ago. I don’t mind gays. But I don’t want ‘em stuffing it down my throat all the time. Certainly not in my kid’s face.” Ha ha “they were in my house two weeks ago” might be better than the sexual double entendre that follows. Saw a few of ‘em in mah cupboard and had to lay a few more traps; got ‘em good ‘n’ scared for now, but they’ll be back. [Think Progress]

Ah, very true. It’s the only logical conclusion, that President Barack Obama wanting to pass moderate bills incentivizing environmental responsibility (and maybe creating new jobs in the process) and providing basic health insurance to 30-40 million Americans makes him just like those 9/11 hijackers, and it’s time to bumrush the cockpit and crash his Kenyan ass into the quaint Pennsylvania countryside, before he gets to Bush Junior. Colorado State Sen. Dave Schultheis meets Twitter, everyone. MORE »

It’s like a veto, but with a half-cryptic message! Schwarzenegger’s office responds that this is just a “weird coincidence,” kind of like that time when foreign actor Arnold Schwarzenegger somehow became Governor of California. And yet! The bill he was rejecting in this letter was one dealing with financing for San Francisco ports, sponsored by San Francisco assemblyman Tommy Ammiano, who apparently shouted “kiss my gay ass” at the governor at an event earlier this month. Meanwhile, California is still broke. [SF Chronicle]

Now why’d he do this: “Political observers across New York are asking today whether Erie County Executive Chris Collins has irreparably damaged his prospects for statewide office after he compared Assembly Speaker Sheldon Silver to Adolf Hitler and an Antichrist during a Saturday speech in Buffalo.” The best part is that Sheldon Silver is a Jew, and Jews are terrified of Hitler and Christians calling them Antichrists. No, wait. The best part is that Chris Collins meant this as a “joke,” when he called the Jew those awful names. No, wait. The best part is after the jump! Oh ho ho! MORE »

Ex-California state assemblyman Mike “Sticky Carpets” Duvall — more commonly known as The Cum Goblin — has something to say regarding his resignation yesterday, which came after a video was published of him bragging to a fellow legislator about having hot hot sex with various lobbyists, all the time, spanking them, spilling semen everywhere, playing them off of each other, etc etc: “I want to make it clear that my decision to resign is in no way an admission that I had an affair or affairs. My offense was engaging in inappropriate story-telling and I regret my language and choice of words.” Oh, Cum Goblin. [Mike Duvall]

Another victim felled by the Internets, it seems: Republican California legislator Mike “Sticky Carpets” Duvall has resigned freaking already, for being disgusting. The statement on his website: “I am deeply saddened that my inappropriate comments have become a major distraction for my colleagues in the Assembly, who are working hard on the very serious problems facing our state. I have come to the conclusion that it would not be fair to my family, my constituents or to my friends on both sides of the aisle to remain in office. Therefore, I have decided to resign my office, effective immediately, so that the Assembly can get back to work.” And I can get back to fuckin’! Oh man, what a bummer. We hadn’t nearly exhausted the nickname possibilities for Mike “Jizz Raptor” Duvall yet. [Duvall for Assembly]

Ted Kennedy might have a mean old liberal Democrat replacement in the Senate soon! All the Massachusetts legislature must do is change the comical law that Ted Kennedy forced it to enact in 2004, the one that prevented Gov. Mitt Romney from appointing a Republican to President John Kerry’s Senate seat. The legislature has moved up a hearing from October to early September on a bill that would allow Gov. Deval Patrick to appoint a temporary replacement to Kennedy’s seat, immediately. Patrick will be looking for a replacement with such qualifications as the ability to press the “yea” button on a health care reform bill, and nothing else. Would it be hypocritical of the Massachusetts state government to amend this law right now? Yes. Good GOD, yes! But who cares? [Salon/War Room]

• HANDSY N.C. STATE SENATOR SHOOTS HOME INTRUDER: This is why we need military-grade assault weapons, people: “TABOR CITY, N.C. — A sheriff says North Carolina’s longest serving state lawmaker has shot one of two intruders who kicked in the front door of his home.” This is a real win-win, here, because the senator, R.C. Soles, was able to protect himself with his gun, the news of which has introduced the rest of us to “R.C. Soles,” who allegedly has a penchant for teenage cock. [AP]

United States Senator Ben Cardin of Maryland has a nephew in politics! You knew this. But did you know that said nephew, state delegate Jon Cardin, is a tacky dingbat who should probably resign after diverting scarce police resources from MURDER INVESTIGATIONS to his dumb boat for the purpose of scaring his girlfriend into marrying him? MORE »

This young man from Louisiana calls himself “Hurricane Chris.” The Internet tells us that he is famous among children for a rap song called “Halle Berry (She’s Fine),” the lyrics of which praise the actress’ Oscar-winning turn in the film Monster’s Ball. Recently he put on a concert for the Louisiana legislature. Hmm. [Political Derby]

Time for a post about the New York Senate coup! QUICK BACKGROUND: Two Democratic state Senators made a “deal” ($$$$$?) to switch to the Republican side, giving the Republicans a majority, hastily. The Democrats then locked the Senate and claimed this was illegal, and it has been locked — as in, physically locked –for days, and the Republicans are threatening to hold session in a field or something if the Senate sergeant-at-arms doesn’t let them in, even though they have their own set of keys now. There was no (intended) simplification in this post. Oh, and the gays caused all of this, by wanting to get married. [Daily Intelligencer, NYT]