state legislatures
New Jersey’s Senate passed a gay marriage bill today! Now it will go to the state Assembly, which will pass it, because Assemblies pass everything. Then it will hit the desk of the good Governor Sandwiches of New Jersey, Chris Christie, who will veto it and then curse out some teachers, for his breakfast dessert.
While Morgan Griffith is now merely majority leader of the Virginia House of Delegates, one day he shall become the Republican White Obama, of Ancient Prophecy. Because why the fuck not, right? This is some Real American cred here: “Griffith also has an odd fondness for dressing up like one of his heroes, Revolutionary War [...]
WINGNUTS FURIOUS OVER… WELL, ANY MUSLIM: “RICHMOND — Hundreds of people are urging legislators to boycott the House of Delegates’ floor session on Thursday, when a Falls Church imam whom they accuse of condoning violence and defending terrorism is set to deliver the opening prayer.” It’s funny, because this particular imam has been one of [...]
It sounds scary when it’s written like this: “Gov. Pat Quinn today called for a 33 percent increase in the state income tax rate to raise money for education and ease deep cuts he’s proposed in his new budget plan.” Less scary when it’s written like this: “Quinn wants to increase the personal income tax [...]
California State Sen. Roy Ashburn, a major family values, anti-gay Republican father of four, also likes to FUCK MEN IN THE ASS. He was pulled over and given a DUI the other night while returning from a Sacramento gay nightclub. Riding in the car with him was another man whom Ashburn was going to rail [...]
DAVID PATERSON’S FRIENDS ARE LEAVING! Did you hear that the New York Times finally got around to writing something vaguely damning about David Paterson? One of his aides beat up a nice lady, on Halloween, and David Paterson later called her and asked her not to make a hot mess of it, because of politics. [...]
Until this interstate race-to-the-bottom makes its next road trip, Minnesota will now be our Realest American state. Here’s how Timmy Pawlenty wants to eliminate his huge budget deficit (which, to be fair, is a monumentally shitty task for any governor): “Aid to cities, counties and health and human services took the deepest cuts in Pawlenty’s [...]
Utah. It’s one of those states that we just have to deal with. Its legislature has just passed a resolution that… uh… well it tells the fedril gubmints to LAY OFF THEIR FREEDOMS and put a sock in this Climate Change scam, because look. Look at all the fukkin’ snow. Fukkin’ everywhere. Mountains, ground, trees. [...]
“We’re talking about taking the penis of a man and putting it in the rectum of another man and wriggling it around in excrement. And you have to think, would I want that to be done to me?” Oof. Time for Nancy Elliott’s husband to lower his expectations. [YouTube]
Former Missouri House Speaker Rod Jetton, who was arrested Monday night for allegedly beating the fucking shit out of a ladyfriend during a case of BDSM gone wrong — possibly because he had roofied her, which made it super hard for her to say “green balloons” during the fifth or sixth donkey punch and/or choking [...]
In an incident in which the perpetrator should have considered that he would become a household name on Wonkette before going through with it, former Missouri House Speaker Rod Jetton is facing assault charges for allegedly beating the shit out of his mistress while having sex. His ladyfriend had not uttered the “safe word,” probably [...]
ALL NEW YORK GAYS SLAUGHTERED, HOORAY! The barely functional New York state senate somehow got its shit together just enough to produce an orderly vote on a piece of legislation today, and it was “the big one” to legalize gay marriage, and it lost by 10 million points, 38-24. Give that majority whip a bonus! [...]
Did you see this YouTube yet! It involves the latest comical statement from America’s most famous super-homophobic state senator, Chris Buttars of Utah: “I meet with the gays here and there. They were in my house two weeks ago. I don’t mind gays. But I don’t want ‘em stuffing it down my throat all the [...]
Ah, very true. It’s the only logical conclusion, that President Barack Obama wanting to pass moderate bills incentivizing environmental responsibility (and maybe creating new jobs in the process) and providing basic health insurance to 30-40 million Americans makes him just like those 9/11 hijackers, and it’s time to bumrush the cockpit and crash his Kenyan [...]
