Wonkette

• What does Harold Ford do at Playboy mansion parties? “What happens in the grotto, stays in the grotto.” [Hot Air]

• George Allen writes (!) a post to make sure the blogosphere, “a powerful new branch of the media,” knows that he cosponsored the “Porkbusters” bill — along with 48 other Senators. [Redstate]
• Hillary Clinton and Barack Obama: the immovable object meets the unstoppable force. [The Gaggle]
• Rick Santorum is back on the “Democrats are Nazi appeasers” hobby horse, displays Winston Churchill book with pages stuck together. [The Carpetbagger Report]
• Sapped of his Joementum, Lieberman now ripping off Richard Nixon’s old Vietnam talking points. [YouTube]
• Blogger makes love to Excel, assigns arithmetical values to each member of Congress. [The Right Place]
• State Department makes sure soldiers in Baghdad can vote to keep Foley’s seat Republican. [Think Progress]

“Government official caught breaking law” is not the rarest of headlines, but today’s taxpayer-funded crook should at least get a few points for ostentatious style. The AP reports:

WASHINGTON - A State Department official accepted free flights to Las Vegas with exotic dancers, expensive meals, hotel rooms in New York and other bribes to speed up the visa process for a jewelry company, federal prosecutors said Friday.

But the best part is that Michael John O’Keefe was flown to Vegas with “two exotic dancers,” federal prosecutors said. MORE »

A Wonkette operative says the State Department entertained a bunch of Saudi religious nuts this weekend … and housed the Wahibbi clerics at a famously gay hotel.

After a busy schedule of visiting local Islamic centers (don’t they have those at home?), the Saudi faithful relaxed at Washington’s Hotel Helix, the luxurious gay hotspot in Logan Circle.

Even better, the Saudi clerics were there for the weekend’s Ms. Gay D.C. pageant.

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Richard Armitage, formerly of the State Department, is now more or less outed as the first guy to tell the first reporter who Valerie Plame worked for. Much, much, much more interesting: WTF was he doing meeting with TOM CRUISE the SAME DAY? Along with two Church of Scientology bigwigs? We demand the lapdog press look into this. MORE »

Anyone who works at the State Deparment want to confirm the anonymous rumor we just heard that everyone’s freaking the fuck out re. the unverified death of Fidel Castro? MORE »

Today’s Washington Post has a Q&A with Claudia A. McMurray, head of the State Department’s boring-sounding Bureau of Oceans and International Environmental and Scientific Affairs. But don’t fall asleep yet, because the bureau has a plan to stop international wildlife trafficking… a sexy plan:

“Bo Derek was appointed by the secretary as special envoy to combat wildlife trafficking. She’s obviously a well-known figure. We want to take her around not only the U.S., but to some other countries as well, as soon as she’s done filming this summer, and have her speak to different kinds of audiences, anything from children to businesspeople to the press to academic groups to get the word out.”

And after all, Bo has always demonstrated her kindness to animals, whether large and simian like Josh Bolten, or small and simian like Dudley Moore. MORE »

(AP Photo/Evan Vucci)

Guest-blogger Princess Sparkle Pony here again. You know, yesterday we had a lot of fun chuckling at the stunning lack of new information in Glenn Kessler’s Tuesday puff piece on Princess Condi. But then I saw the above AP photo of our heroine, which shows her greeting the Afghani Foreign Minister guy yesterday at the State Department. It made me think that perhaps I had misjudged the usually talented Mr. Kessler, and that in the very title of his piece, “Defining Her Own Sphere of Influence”, he was actually slyly making the first ever mainstream media reference to Condi’s secret friend, the spherical, invisible object she likes to cuddle when she’s nervous. I first revealed the existence of this elusive object on my own blog, and it was even briefly mentioned here at Wonkette. What, you can’t see it? I’ll visualize it for you after the jump…

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Diplomacy’s all about flexibility. (AP) MORE »

Former Assistant Secretary of State for Intelligence and Research Carl Ford, speaking on the intelligence failures that led to our stunning victory in Iraq, tries out a beautiful new method of buck-passing: It’s Congress’ fault for believing the crap guys like him told them. Which sounds like dodging responsibility, but it makes sense, really. It’s the Otter defense: You fucked up, you trusted the White House. MORE »

No one ever won a war with a bad attitude, guys.

The U.S. Embassy in Iraq, demonstrating an admirable unwillingness to aide in the President’s PR blitz, sent a memo to Condoleezza Rice last week on the day of Bush’s surprise Baghdad trip detailing just how much fun everyone’s having in the Green Zone these days. It raises the question: Why doesn’t the U.S. Embassy ever tell the State Department the good news from Iraq? (Will we ever get tired of that line?)

Our exclusive hungover and cranky analysis, after the jump.

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• Deputy Secretary of State Robert B. Zoellick is resigning to join the private sector, conveniently for the New York Times‘ ongoing series on officials working in domestic security who’ve found the private sector more lucrative [WP, NYT, NYT]

• Barack Obama has spent the recess “touring the country at breakneck pace,” is strongly considering an ‘08 run. [WP]
• Duncan Hunter releases list of his pet earmarks for the ‘07 budget. [WP]
• At least 19 California towns have paid millions of dollar to a single DC lobbying firm to influence their own congressman, Rep. Jerry Lewis. Lewis has close ties to the firm, which “drawn the attention of a federal investigation into the relationships between lobbyists and lawmakers.” [LAT]

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* Under the Dome: Justice Antonin Scalia drunk Corona and mingled with actress Doris Roberts at the Bloomberg party before looking “uncomfortable” with Ludacris. . . Meanwhile, Ludacris doesn’t care about Steve Scully. . . Anna Kournikova and Drew Lachey were among the no-shows. [The Hill]
* Heard on the Hill: “A longtime aide to a senior Democratic Senator” stole George Clooney’s place card. . . Cartoonist/author Anthony Haden-Guest fell asleep during Stephen Colbert’s routine. . . Court TV is opening a D.C. bureau. [Roll Call]
* Reliable Source: Bush’s low approval rating equal good business for impersonator Steve Bridges: “If they’re too high, people get nervous: ‘Is it okay to make fun of the president?’”. . . Bloomberg reporter Janine Zacharia scores a private lunch with Condoleezza Rice and Tiki Barber at the State Department. [WP]
* Page Six: Blind item asks, “Which Democratic party moneybags is getting divorced because he diddled with a candidate’s daughter? To cap it off, his wife, the mother of his children then had a go with her personal trainer (a woman).” [NYP]
* Rush & Molloy: Ken Mehlman: “I’m not gay. But those stories did a number on my dating life for six months.” [NYDN]