With a little push from the Freedom of Information Act, which we all know is pretty much useless once the man strikes all the good stuff, the State Department has released its $1.2 billion Blackwater contract. Out of 323-page document, 169 pages were blank with enough redactions to have it read like a dyslexic’s version of The Anarchist’s Cookbook. One random list simply reads: battery carrier tool, quick booster kit, heavy-duty work bench, distilled water and WD-40. Now, heads will start roll. Blackwater Contracts, Short on Detail [WaPo] MORE »

Paul Wolfowitz may be best remembered for being one of the architects of the completely unwarranted belief that the Iraqis would greet us as liberators, though some might choose to remember him as yet another Republican who basically got fired from a non-Administration job for his extracurricular activities. Condi, though, is hoping he can redeem himself somewhere other than a right -wing think tank, and is reportedly appointing him the chairman of the International Security Advisory Board at the State Department. The position, which does not require Senate approval, “advises” the Secretary of State on issues like nukes and other weapons of mass destruction. Paul is obviously an expert in WMDs, after all the ones he noticed on satellite and then found in Iraq. [Newsweek]

What has Condoleezza Rice accomplished in the past week? The answer is always the same: nothing! What has she been doing, where has she been going? Well, that’s a more complicated question. Each week, veteran Condiwatcher Peter Huestis (also known as Princess Sparkle Pony) provides a summary of the searing wit and infinite wisdom of America’s Favorite Princess Diplomat™! Last week was a holiday, so there wasn’t a lot of hot Condi action, so let’s take a look at her legacy, OK? Skeptics may wish to point out Dr. Ferragamo’s many failures, but there’s one area in which our beloved heroine has absolutely triumphed: Condoleezza Rice has perfected the MAPO, the matching armchairs photo-op. Join me for an in-depth look at this impressive diplomatic capability after the jump!

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The State Department announced Monday that it had filled its vacancies at the Iraq Embassy, so, ugh, *fine*, there’ll be no mandatory service — for now. This comes in the wake of massive bitching from members of our prestigious diplomatic corps, who were worried they’d be forced to serve somewhere that could actually use them. MORE »

In a Newsweek interview yesterday, Condi — this woman! — said “I’m sure there are lots of things we might have done better… I’ll give you one with Iraq. If I had to do it all over again, we would have had the balance between center, local and provincial better. But that’s the kind of thing you learn over time.” Yeah, you kind of had to be there to get the whole Shi’ite/Sunni thing — it’s far worse than the friendly Presbyterian/Episcopalian sparring we’d planned for. [Newsweek]

Foreign Service Officers (FSOs) having been bitching to high heaven ever since Condi & Her Power Friends ordered them to serve in Iraq. Fortunately the State Department has its savvy, Y2K-inspired Internet Weblog, Dipnote, to quell this undiplomatic sand-in-the-vagina-fest. Yesterday, an FSO currently serving in Iraq — he volunteered, of all things! — has a special message to his trembling colleagues in Foggy Bottom: The Marines over here think you’re “weenies.” MORE »

What has Condoleezza Rice accomplished in the past week? The answer is always the same: nothing! What has she been doing, where has she been going? Well, that’s a more complicated question. Each week, veteran Condiwatcher Peter Huestis (also known as Princess Sparkle Pony) provides a summary of the searing wit and infinite wisdom of America’s Favorite Princess Diplomat™! This past week, Dr. Secretary sat around and offended her underlings, said goodbye to an old friend, got sharp objects thrown at her by Turkish children, and then received a subpoena from mean people who just won’t leave her alone!

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Diplohater Condi Rice and more than a dozen intelligence officials “must testify about their conversations with pro-Israel lobbyists, a federal judge ruled Friday in an espionage case.” Two former American Israel Public Affairs Committee lobbyists are being tried for passing on classified Pentagon information to Israeli people. But we assume the judge won’t rule against them, because that would be anti-Semitic. [AP via WP]

The State Department recently announced that it would order some diplomats to serve at the U.S. Embassy in Iraq due to a lack of volunteers, what with it being Iraq and all. As a 22-year-old, I prefer the idea of a diplomat-draft over that of a draft-draft, but these emissaries ain’t feeling it. The State Department held a town hall yesterday to run through the gripes (it’s all “dangerous” over there or something), and it’s pretty clear now that our diplomatic corps is just a bunch of pussies. MORE »

A House resolution that would recognize the 1915 Armenian Genocide as, well, a genocide is running into some problems: America’s strategic interests! You see, we are best (strategic) buds with the internationally despised Turks, because they let us use an air base. And as we all know, access to air bases trumps symbolic recognition of unthinkable acts of evil every time. MORE »

Hey kids, the State Department has just learned of the hot new trend from 2001, “the blog.” And like everything else in Condi Rice’s best-ever Department of State, this blog is an almost comical failure. Start with the name: DIPNOTE. As proven by the approximately 200 e-mails we just received about this thing, the immediate reaction to that ridiculous name is “More like dipshit.” MORE »

Recently it was revealed that Condoleezza Rice, GQ’s “MOST POWERFUL PERSON IN DC,” can’t actually get the New York Times to return her phone calls or print her lame op-eds. According to the BBC, they’re not the only ones to snub her — the Pope refused to meet with Condi last month. The Pope! The guy just met with those stupid British parents who killed their little girl at the Tapas bar or whatever, and he won’t meet with Condi? MORE »

In this six-minute, State Department-provided clip, Karen Hughes (Under Secretary of State for Public Diplomacy) and Condoleezza Rice, GQ’s MOST POWERFUL PERSON IN WASHINGTON, DC, sit on a couch and chat with Cal Ripken, Jr., the famous baseball player. He apparently works for State now? As… Ambassador of Baseball? MORE »