state department

One reason Americans were denied the cleansing vision of the last U.S. diplomats fleeing Baghdad by helicopter is because, haha, we sort of left the diplomats there — all 16,000 State Department personnel and military contractors and poorly disguised CIA torture spies and oil company representatives. But now, with “hard times” or whatever the current […]

The U.S. State Department has been known to make noise about protecting free speech around the world. Writers and bloggers, the department says, should be allowed to publish their opinions even if they conflict with government dogma. But these freedoms are granted to humanity by the State Department under the strict condition that the people […]

The difference between the environmental policies of Barack Obama and George W. Bush? You expected it to be bad with Bush Jr. Today, the White House is surrounded with people protesting the Keystone XL Tar Sands Pipeline. Here’s how Rep. Henry Waxman described it: “This pipeline is a multi-billion dollar investment to expand our reliance […]

Guess who turned out to be the biggest asshole in the world? Your boyfriend, Barack Obama. The latest outrage in the Bradley Manning situation involves Obama’s direct involvement in the firing of State Department spokesman P.J. Crowley — because Crowley committed the sin of condemning the torture and abuse of U.S. Army Private Bradley Manning, […]

The United States, which is currently engaged in a complete war against some weird guy with a website, is going to host “World Press Freedom Day,” the Department of State announced today. They’re all especially excited about protecting the flow of digital news, which is why Washington is “concerned about the determination of some governments […]

The Governmental Accountability Office has released a STARTLING report saying that our previously unperverse State Department gave out 4,500 passports to registered sex offenders back in 2008. How has Hillary Clinton not already been put in stocks and branded with a scarlet letter for this? Oh wait, passports are sort of a right for U.S. […]

The State Department has used fancy science computers to update its file image of Osama bin Laden from 1998. In the center we have the “well, it could happen” Western-shaven Osama, while on the right we have the more traditional hobo version. Which Osama bin Laden would you fuck the most? The middle one has […]

It’s more better news for the American national interest! You may remember the above devils from earlier this year, from the ArmorGroup North America mercenary firm operating in Kabul, where they were protecting the United States embassy under a 5-year $189 million contract. These bros weren’t doing so much “guarding” as they were drinking poop-tinted […]

You are not likely to see this in the state-controlled media, but the Spanish prime minister’s family is actually a coven of Witches, like from Hogwarts. What spells did they put on Obama with their Witch Craft? [Gawker/State Dept. Flickr]

The Blackwater news was, what, two years ago now, and we’re still inexplicably allowing these creepy private security companies to not only take the helm “guarding” major war zones, but to do so without *any* military supervision or need to adhere to basic laws or standards of conduct? Well THANK GOD this is the case, […]

Because the Obama Administration hates Iran’s freedoms so much, it has rescinded permission for U.S. embassies to invite Iranian diplomats to their Fourth of July parties. Come on, parents, don’t take it out on the kids! Robert Gibbs said the change in policy came about “given the events of the past many days,” referring to […]

New Republic editor-in-chief Marty Peretz, known for his colorful view (complete hatred) of Arabs, read in an Israeli newspaper that Dennis Ross was being replaced as “Iran Czar” or whatever. Granted the State Department has denied this news report, and Dennis Ross never even held the position Peretz claims he did, but still, did Barack […]

They let Bono in the New York Times and Bob Dylan in the Pope’s castle and Beyonce in the President’s castle and Elton John into what’s her name’s funeral, so why not let Australian gloom singer Nick Cave into Hillary Clinton’s secret State Department lair? Oh wait, it’s the Libyan national security adviser? Sure, fine. […]

Nobody really knows what Hillary Clinton has been up to, work-wise, since she started her Secretary of State-ing a couple months ago. She went to China or somesuch, yes? And went on a bunch of international teevee programs and suffered through important geopolitical inquiries such as when she fell in love with her husband? Well, […]

All this talk about the economy! Eh, Who cares, it’s finished, so how’s Hillary Clinton’s Dipolomatic Corps doing? She’s in Asia, you know! And oh, what a swell time she’s having, drinking tea with the Japanese royals, taking in Eastern culture, and most importantly, getting the hell out of Washington D.C. Best job in the […]