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Posts Tagged ‘state department’

Clinton, McCain Join Obama’s Breached Passport Party

Friday, March 21st, 2008

Barack Obama was so happy when the news about his passport breach came out yesterday — that was worth at least 10 Unfair Victim Points for him, about 30 shy of the amount he needs to bury this Jeremiah Wright hoopla. Now, however, it appears that passport breaches are not unique to him, but yet another aspect of the Old Politics: Hillary Clinton and John McCain’s passport files have also been breached! The State Department is racist, sexist and ageist. And racism and sexism are bad! MORE »


State Dept. Creeps Get Fired For Sneaking Peeks At Obama’s Passport

Thursday, March 20th, 2008

Pictured here holding the ghost of his raped passportTwo contract employees at the State Department accessed Barack Obama’s passport files on three separate occasions this year, and have now been fired for their “imprudent curiosity.” They accessed his file! On three separate occasions! It is a horrible breach of some sort! Wonkette demands a full independent investigation, led by Ken Starr. [AP]


Condoleezza’s Glamorous World of Dinner Parties & 9/11

Monday, February 4th, 2008

OMG!!Each week, veteran Condiwatcher Peter Huestis (also known as Princess Sparkle Pony) provides a summary of the searing wit and infinite wisdom of America’s Favorite Princess Diplomatâ„¢!

Condi was back in Foggy Bottom 24/7 last week, and you know what that means: photo-ops, photo-ops, photo-ops! Indeed, the State Department’s reception room was a revolving door to all kinds of diplobots from strategically unchallenging countries. And somebody had the nerve to call Our Heroine incompetent. Why do they keep doing that? So mean! Join me after the jump for a Condiological safari through the last seven days…

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Things To Think About

Friday, December 14th, 2007
  • Hillary’s numbers are dropping the closer voting gets. That obviously means she’s doomed. [Wizbang Politics]

  • Don’t like your new adopted child? Send it back! [Michelle Malkin]
  • Iowa likes underdogs, because, you know, who the fuck wants to live in Iowa. [Political Wire]
  • Kansas AG aborted his way right out of a job. [WorldNet Daily]
  • Fred Thompson either has highly postmodern feminist views or, you know, just appreciates a hot piece of ass. [Election Central]
  • Everybody’s jumping on the Hey-We-Can-Let-One-Silly-Rape-Slide bandwagon. [Blotter]
  • Hey Congress, remember that time you just went ahead and confirmed Bush’s AG pick all willy-nilly even though you could have easily demanded someone else? Nicely done. [Raw Story]

Blackwater Contract Shows Use of WD-40!

Monday, December 10th, 2007

bwater.jpgWith a little push from the Freedom of Information Act, which we all know is pretty much useless once the man strikes all the good stuff, the State Department has released its $1.2 billion Blackwater contract. Out of 323-page document, 169 pages were blank with enough redactions to have it read like a dyslexic’s version of The Anarchist’s Cookbook. One random list simply reads: battery carrier tool, quick booster kit, heavy-duty work bench, distilled water and WD-40. Now, heads will start roll. Blackwater Contracts, Short on Detail [WaPo] MORE »


He’s Ba-ack

Monday, December 3rd, 2007

And from his mouth there came hellfire, such as the world had never seen.Paul Wolfowitz may be best remembered for being one of the architects of the completely unwarranted belief that the Iraqis would greet us as liberators, though some might choose to remember him as yet another Republican who basically got fired from a non-Administration job for his extracurricular activities. Condi, though, is hoping he can redeem himself somewhere other than a right -wing think tank, and is reportedly appointing him the chairman of the International Security Advisory Board at the State Department. The position, which does not require Senate approval, “advises” the Secretary of State on issues like nukes and other weapons of mass destruction. Paul is obviously an expert in WMDs, after all the ones he noticed on satellite and then found in Iraq. [Newsweek]


Building a Better Photo-Op

Monday, November 26th, 2007

She's a Wonder!What has Condoleezza Rice accomplished in the past week? The answer is always the same: nothing! What has she been doing, where has she been going? Well, that’s a more complicated question. Each week, veteran Condiwatcher Peter Huestis (also known as Princess Sparkle Pony) provides a summary of the searing wit and infinite wisdom of America’s Favorite Princess Diplomatâ„¢! Last week was a holiday, so there wasn’t a lot of hot Condi action, so let’s take a look at her legacy, OK? Skeptics may wish to point out Dr. Ferragamo’s many failures, but there’s one area in which our beloved heroine has absolutely triumphed: Condoleezza Rice has perfected the MAPO, the matching armchairs photo-op. Join me for an in-depth look at this impressive diplomatic capability after the jump!

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Sissybitch Diplomats No Longer Forced To Iraq

Tuesday, November 20th, 2007

eww? noThe State Department announced Monday that it had filled its vacancies at the Iraq Embassy, so, ugh, *fine*, there’ll be no mandatory service — for now. This comes in the wake of massive bitching from members of our prestigious diplomatic corps, who were worried they’d be forced to serve somewhere that could actually use them. MORE »


Friday, November 9th, 2007

In a Newsweek interview yesterday, Condi — this woman! — said “I’m sure there are lots of things we might have done better… I’ll give you one with Iraq. If I had to do it all over again, we would have had the balance between center, local and provincial better. But that’s the kind of thing you learn over time.” Yeah, you kind of had to be there to get the whole Shi’ite/Sunni thing — it’s far worse than the friendly Presbyterian/Episcopalian sparring we’d planned for. [Newsweek]


Dipnote: You Pussy Diplomats, The Anbar Party Don’t Never Stop

Wednesday, November 7th, 2007

was this the rap group cam'ron was in?Foreign Service Officers (FSOs) having been bitching to high heaven ever since Condi & Her Power Friends ordered them to serve in Iraq. Fortunately the State Department has its savvy, Y2K-inspired Internet Weblog, Dipnote, to quell this undiplomatic sand-in-the-vagina-fest. Yesterday, an FSO currently serving in Iraq — he volunteered, of all things! — has a special message to his trembling colleagues in Foggy Bottom: The Marines over here think you’re “weenies.” MORE »