state department
Republicans Fabricated Smoking Gun Emails They Maybe Illegally Leaked; Forgot To Add Smoking Gun
First, a disclaimer: We, like you, are so. Fucking. Tired! of Benghazi. If Republicans had just taken our advice, they would not be suffering in the polls because they are wasting everyone’s time, and we would not be weeping into our latte because we have to keep struggling to wring a few drops of funny [...]
Daily Caller Writer Was Just Asking Responsible Questions About Hillary Clinton Faking It
Jim Treacher, who periodically writes incredibly stupid shit at the Daily Caller Media Foundation Trademark, is now demanding the real birth certificate for Hillary Clinton’s concussion or something, and DEMANDS RESPECT FOR HIS CRUSADE. A few weeks ago, when Hillary’s people said she wouldn’t be testifying about Benghazi because she’d fallen down and hit her [...]
Hero Utah Congressman Jason Chaffetz Outs Pretty Much Entire CIA
Jason Chaffetz, how is your MENSA membership? Still in good standing? Oh, good! Now, we know you and your brethren want to make some political hay out of the Libya fiasco. Who could blame you? Even we were like (secretly, in our brainpans), sup, did Hillz drop the ball? And if hacks like us are [...]
Former Iraq Ambassador Ryan Crocker Arrested For DUI, Hit-And-Run
They say that astronauts become alcoholics after returning from space, because they were in space, which was better. This is perfectly analogous to the situation of former U.S. Ambassador Ryan Crocker — the man who SAVED IRAQ along with Gen. Petraeus and then… [somethinged] Afghanistan with Gen. Petraeus — who returned from seeing constant murder [...]
The State Department Now Responding To ‘HILLARY VP???” Questions With Poetry
The very serious “DUMP BIDEN 4 HILLARY?” speculation that our pal Ed Henry questioned the White House press secretary about yesterday got a real kick today when author Ed Klein, who’s right up there with World Net Daily in terms of credibility, reported (/talked to his own butt) that Hillary Clinton rejected the vice presidency [...]
Former Bachmann Campaign Manager Ed Rollins: Unlike Michele Bachmann I Am Not Evil Or Nuts
Now that Sen. John McCain has put on his biannual Integrity Cloak again, and denounced Michele Bachmann’s Arab Hunt from the Senate floor, a few other people would like to get into the act. One is Bachmann’s former campaign manager, Ed Rollins, who also worked for Reagan and Mike Huckabee and would like you to [...]
U.S. Embassy in Israel Tweeting Quotes From Henry Ford, Prominent Hater of Jews
Just in case some of you aren’t reading tweets from U.S. embassies at 2 a.m., we of Your Wonkette are always On The Ball and keeping an eye on such things. And tonight, well, it got a bit silly. The U.S Embassy in Tel Aviv was tweeting up a storm — as part of their [...]
Women Don’t Need 3,054 Languages To Call Men Hypocrites
Can women have it all? Not yet! At least, not until I get an Iron Man suit — sorry, Iron Woman. [The Atlantic] Are liberals hypocrites about national security?! How dare you, Salon! That’s so mean! Anyway, probably. I mean, liberal Hollywood’s movie Iron Man is about an arms dealer who forgoes making weapons — [...]
U.S. Scaling Down To Just 8,000 ‘Diplomats’ In Iraq Forever
One reason Americans were denied the cleansing vision of the last U.S. diplomats fleeing Baghdad by helicopter is because, haha, we sort of left the diplomats there — all 16,000 State Department personnel and military contractors and poorly disguised CIA torture spies and oil company representatives. But now, with “hard times” or whatever the current [...]
Author Exposes U.S. Gov’t Cluelessness, Gets Persecuted by U.S. Gov’t
The U.S. State Department has been known to make noise about protecting free speech around the world. Writers and bloggers, the department says, should be allowed to publish their opinions even if they conflict with government dogma. But these freedoms are granted to humanity by the State Department under the strict condition that the people [...]
U.S. State Department Hilariously Announces ‘World Press Freedom Day’
The United States, which is currently engaged in a complete war against some weird guy with a website, is going to host “World Press Freedom Day,” the Department of State announced today. They’re all especially excited about protecting the flow of digital news, which is why Washington is “concerned about the determination of some governments [...]
State Department Gave 4,500 Sex Offenders Passports In 2008, Because That’s an Important Thing To Know
The Governmental Accountability Office has released a STARTLING report saying that our previously unperverse State Department gave out 4,500 passports to registered sex offenders back in 2008. How has Hillary Clinton not already been put in stocks and branded with a scarlet letter for this? Oh wait, passports are sort of a right for U.S. [...]
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