Variations of this new Starbucks ad have been on the television recently, for some new coffee dongle. Essentially, “now you can pay a shitload for our instant coffee too!” But town halls are dead, is the point. They’ve been dead for a month or so, and now they are dead-dead. [YouTube]

You might be reluctant to vote today. It’s certainly understandable: Maybe it’s raining, or maybe you live in one of the 48 states that isn’t a count-y one, or most likely, your identity has already been plagiarized by an ACORN. But not voting means foregoing that declarative fashion sticker, plus missing out on all of the following free pleasantries. MORE »

Staunch conservative baby harvester Rep. Michele Bachmann sez: “First we were told that Bear Stearns was too big to fail, then we were told that Freddie/Fannie were too big to fail, then we were told that AIG was too big to fail. What’s next, Starbucks too big to fail?” Ha ha ha, oh heavens, we think that might be a slap at the dreaded Liberals! Bachmann, as always, has hit upon something brilliant here that could carry the Republicans into landslide victories this fall: The government is flooding the economy with cash, ergo the Democrats must be behind this, and they will continue to bail out their “San Francisco values” companies if you elect them. “What’s next, STARBUCKS?” Marvelous. [ABC News]

The “A” location on this space satellite Google Maps image is 2101 L Street NW, the ONLY Starbucks that will be closed in Washington D.C. out of 600-ish closed ones nationwide. This is problematic for two reasons: (1) there is nary another bean shop anywhere near this rich, young-professionalized and textbook yuppie part of Northwest D.C. and (2) this was the Starbucks for HOSPITAL and WOUND CARE patients, as you can see. People get shot all the time with legal guns in this city and now they will have no Starbucks coffee! [Washington Post]

* Free Starbucks tomorrow. [DCFUD]
* At $50,000 a year, GW is the nation’s most expensive college. Nine local kids will now attend for free. [Read Express]
* RE: DC housing market: “For those of us with decent credit, watching all the posers getting foreclosed is like watching cheap porn in the middle of the night.” [TC The Terrible]
* Review of the closing of the DC Independent Film Festival and not meeting Kiefer Sutherland, “there was the adult man chanting ‘kiefer! kiefer!’ during the film festival award proceedings, impatient to skip right past the awards and movie and see kiefer.” [Life Off Balance]
* Baked and Wired has best cupcakes in town, according to WP and CakeLove serves some of their cupcakes at room temp now. [Eat Foo]

* Columbia Heights is getting a Dunkin Donuts and a Starbucks, eventually drunk douchebags on weekends. [Prince of Petworth]
* Bikes for the World is looking for someone to manage their youth bike program in Rockville. You know, in case you owe someone some community service. [Democracy in Action]
* You can still get a romancey Valentine’s Day reservation. [The DC Concierge]
* DC Flamenco Festival begins tonight with professionals offering to press their cooters against yours. [DCist]
* Luxury hotel coming to 14th & P Streets, NW. [Logan Circle News]

This is kind of the saddest thing we’ve ever posted. MORE »

Katherine Harris has a very, very specific Starbucks order: “Triple Venti, no fat, no foam, extra hot, with pink sugar.” It is her fuel, it is what keeps her going. If she doesn’t get it, she gets angry. Which might be how her cash-strapped campaign ended up spending almost a thousand dollars at Starbucks this fall alone.

The FEC data is here, but a brilliant (and seemingly unemployed) Wonkette Operative crunched the numbers for us:

Total Starbucks runs, July-September: 133
Total cost to the campaign: $948.05

After the jump, the full list of Starbucks trips in that period, with cost and dates of disbursement.

Illustration: Princess Sparkle Pony

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Just a week after our bold crusade to make the TSA idiots let us bring coffee on the plane again, everyone in America is suddenly free to bring coffee on the plane again!

Huzzah!

A tale of incredible patriotic victory, after the jump.

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You don’t have to be a laboratory scientist or explosives expert to know the “Gatorade/iPod Bomb Plot” was total bullshit from Day One; you just need to be able to read and comprehend the simple explanations provided by said laboratory scientists or explosives experts.

We need to bring our coffee back on the airplanes. We need our laptops and DVD players and iPods on those murderous transatlantic flights. We need you help, Washington media elite, so please join us after the jump.

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OK, enough goddamn e-mails about Katherine Harris already. We know that she asked for pink sugar with her order at Starbucks. And we know about this idiotic rumor going around Florida Republican circles.

It may be a case of wishful thinking, but some Florida Republicans are contemplating what could be the most bizarre turn yet in Rep. Katherine Harris’ beleaguered run for the U.S. Senate. MORE »