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Posts Tagged ‘star wars’

DID ANOTHER 9/11 HAPPEN YESTERDAY?

And There Was Quite A Teabagger Yiff On ‘Second Life,’ Too

Thursday, April 16th, 2009

We’ll just throw all of these pictures in and not bother with the one-liners this time, because this is Art and must be respected. Here are some important themes, motifs and keywords though: Star Wars, furries, whores, the boardwalk, YouTube Thomas Paine impersonator as Big Brother, French aristocracy, CNN, Osama, Obama, media saturation, Adolf Hitler, attractive hobos, homosexuals, racism, black people, vulgarity, cancer, testicles, death, sadness, misery, failure, and gonorrhea. MORE »


BLINGEE CONTESTS

Your 2009 BlinGeeTwenty Sexytime Winners’ Costume Parade

Thursday, April 2nd, 2009

Wonkette commenter Atheist Nun wins this massive Blingee contest with relative ease for the strong theme, the well-placed “masks,” and most importantly for recognizing that every single post by your editors on this website is, on some level, an allegory to the Cloud City scene in The Empire Strikes Back. Atheist Nun perhaps implies, “These monsters, we do not know their motives,” but probably not. Anyway your iPod is in the mail. Overnighted. (There is no iPod, that was a lie.) Let’s check out some other good ones after the jump, and then you losers can post links to your more loser-y ones in the comments. MORE »


CRACK THAT WHIP

Sarah Palin and the Softer Side of the Death Star

Tuesday, September 16th, 2008

'Charming to the last. You don't know how hard I found it, signing the order to terminate your life. 'Oh look what Alaskan numbskull Sarah Palin is wearing now: It’s an Imperial death smock, just like what’s his name, Peter Cushing, wore in the fascist movie Star Wars. Tomorrow, inevitably, she will wear a bear suit. [Gawker]


MACE WINDU FOR PRESIDENT

Wednesday, June 25th, 2008
  • HEY GEORGE LUCAS, IS OBAMA A SPACE JEDI?: “I would say that’s reasonably obvious.” HOYVIN-GLAYVIN! [Yeas & Nays]

HILLARY CLINTON

Hillary To Concede By Friday, For Real

Wednesday, June 4th, 2008

We used this same movie picture yesterday when the Associated Press erroneously reported that Hillary would concede in her speech last night. It only makes sense to use it again, because, as all Americans know, you have to destroy two (2) Death Stars to take down an Empire. We assume Hillary understands this, and that’s why we “trust” this latest report that Hillary will concede by Friday at a gathering of her top supporters. Meanwhile, Barack Obama will be celebrating his Victory with fuzzy Ewoks at a bonfire in his native Kenya. [ABC News]


BARACK OBAMA

George Lucas To Ruin Barack Obama Story, Too

Wednesday, June 4th, 2008

buttsecks?George Lucas, who created Star Wars and Raiders of the Lost Ark three decades ago and has spent all his time since then trying to ruin them, says his new hero is Barack Obama. In Japan promoting the latest Indiana Jones movie, the Lucasfilm billionaire said he loves Barry so much because “for all of us that have dreams and hope, is a hero.” (?) Lucas says he’s working on a “prequel” about when Obama’s dad was a goat-riding archaeologist on his home planet of Tatooine, where he found a bunch of dumb CGI monsters from space. The computer program Jar Jar Binks will do all the acting. [AFP]


NASA

Government Toilet Fixed, In Space

Wednesday, June 4th, 2008

Deep Space Homer.America is back! Our astronauts floating in that useless goddamned tin can that uselessly orbits around the Earth forever can finally take off their shitty diapers and use a toilet again. This is because Our Government sent one of its three unexploded space shuttles up to low-earth orbit, at a cost of Many Billions of Dollars, to deliver a new toilet from Home Depot. That’s one small shit for man, and one giant shit for mankind. [AP/Google]


STAR WARS

Wednesday, May 14th, 2008

WEDNESDAY FUN LINK: “HOLYHEAD, Wales - A man who dressed up as Darth Vader — wearing a garbage bag for a cape — and assaulted the founders of a group called the Jedi church was given a suspended sentence Tuesday.” This will happen everyday in Paulville. MORE »


DEMOCRATS

Begun These Dork Wars Have

Friday, May 2nd, 2008


“Well, the Empire doesn’t consider a small one-man fighter to be any threat, or they’d have a tighter defense. An analysis of the plans provided by Joe Andrew has demonstrated a weakness in the battle station. But the approach will not be easy. You are required to maneuver straight down this trench and skim the surface to this point. The target area is only two meters wide. It’s a small thermal exhaust port, right below the main port. The shaft leads directly to the reactor system. A precise hit will start a chain reaction which should destroy the station. Only a precise hit will set off a chain reaction. The shaft is ray-shielded, so you’ll have to use proton torpedoes.”


TOP

Philadelphia So Crazy On Election Day

Tuesday, April 22nd, 2008

These news trucks are parked outside Hillary Clinton’s (and our) hotel in Philadelphia, on Broad Street. That is corrupt City Hall in the background, the evil gothic thing. What else is happening in Philadelphia today? Much of it involves Thomas Jefferson, penis food, sparkly voting signs and Star Wars musicals. Barack Obama and Hillary Clinton have been overrun by this strange City on a Landfill. MORE »


PENTAGON

Thursday, February 21st, 2008

Bad moon on the riseSAFE … FOR NOW: The Pentagon claims it shot down the Satellite of Death about an hour ago, somewhere west of Hawaii (coincidence?), and now we will not die, at least not tonight, because it’s pretty much tomorrow already. ALSO: Did you people see that Blood Red Lunar Eclipse? Awesomeness. [CNN/AP}