Tag: stand your ground

Screengrabs are fair use, right? Yeah, pretty sure they are. We can always add a pony so it's parody.

George Zimmerman: God Made Me Do It

Now that the Justice Department has declared George Zimmerman a swell human being who merely shot and killed Trayvon Martin but didn't violate his civil rights, Mr. Zimmerman sat down for a spontaneous, not-at-all scripted-sounding interview with his divorce...
here I am in court again!

George Zimmerman Goes With Wine Jug For Lady-Beating, For Variety

Do you wish you could read more words aboutĀ George Zimmerman, Florida's own human crime spree and killer of unarmed black teenager Trayvon Martin? Has it been too long since you read one month ago about how Zimmerman thinks it...
Ready for all comers

George Zimmerman: Be Sure To Buy Your ‘Killing Unarmed Black Kids’ Insurance!

George Zimmerman has a lot of free time. His notoriety prevents him from seeking conventional employment, evidently, and he got fired from his last unpaid gig in that the owner of the gun shop he was lurking behind at...
We can't even come up with a funny alt tag right now, guys.

Marissa Alexander Officially Not Allowed To Stand Her Ground In Florida

You remember Marissa Alexander, right? She was the Florida woman who fired warning shots at her abusive husband (and missed) during a domestic dispute and got 20 years for it. Fortunately, she got a new trial, and on Monday,...
DC stands with Ferguson

Missouri KKK Just Thrilled To Bits About Coming Ferguson Race War

A Missouri-based affiliate of the Ku Klux Klan is circulating a clumsily designed flier vowing to "use lethal force as provided under Missouri Law to defend ourselves" from "terrorists masquerading as 'peaceful protestors,'" reports Vice News. Here's the...
Lucia McBath & her son, Jordan Davis (1995-20120

Oh How Sad, Michael Dunn Is Going To Prison For Life. Wait, Did We Say ‘Sad’?

Michael Dunn, convicted last month for the murder of 17-year-old Jordan Davis, was sentenced today to life in prison with no chance of parole. Since prosecutors did not seek the death penalty in Dunn's first-degree murder trial, the conviction...
Put down that knife, little lady.

South Carolina: Sorry Your Partner Beats You, Too Bad You Can’t Stand Your Ground

Hey there, South Carolina! How are you making life in your state feel like a Beckett play today? South Carolina is one of more than 20 states that has passed an expansive Stand Your Ground law authorizing individuals to use...
The guy on the right? He's the murderer

Florida Jury Finally Finds Murderer Michael Dunn Guilty Of Murder

In November 2012, racist scumbag Michael Dunn killed 17-year-old Jordan Davis. Dunn claimed that Davis and his friends were rudely (read: blackly) playing their music too loud, and when he ever-so-politely asked them to turn it down a bit,...
Don't make George Zimmerman ask you twice.

George Zimmerman Waving His Penis Substitute Around Again, Because It Is A Day

Well well well, look who else is hoppin' aboard the "Do You Know Who I Am?" Express! First it was Sarah Palin, and now it's Neighborhood Watch aspirant George Zimmerman. What do you s'pose Georgy Porgy is up to...

Gun Nuts Refuse To Fondle Any Gun Smarter Than Them

Welcome friends, to the show that never ends: the insane rage of gun fondlers and their eternal hard-ons for the weaponry they must own and the anger bubble they live in as the eternal price of making sure no...

You Should Listen To This Responsible Gun Owner Murder These Teenagers, Even Though You Do Not Want To

Yesterday, we introduced you to the hip new trend: luring teenagers into your garage and lying in wait for them to burgle, so you can shoot them! How can you be a good guy with a gun if the...

These People Trapping And Shooting These Teenagers Are Not Very Nice, No, Not At All

The law is a grand thing, a collection of not merely statutes, but also precedents from previous cases, and when a legal innovation comes along, sometimes there have to be a few test cases to determine the boundaries of...

Reuters’ Cool Upside-Down Chart Makes ‘Stand Your Ground’ Look Awesome

Now here's an impressive-looking chart from Reuters that was all over the Twitterverse this weekend. Quick -- after Florida adopted "Stand Your Ground" in 2005, did gun deaths increase or decrease? Well of course they decreased, says your brain,...

Florida Lege Fixing ‘Stand Your Ground’ Law By Keeping Journalists From Reporting On It

The geniuses in the Florida Legislature are going to pass some important improvements to the state's "Stand Your Ground" law. First off, they're going to fix it so that you can fire a warning shot or wave a gun...

Crowd Of Almost 20 Lines Up To Meet George Zimmerman At Florida Gun Show

Poor George Zimmerman is a victim once more, this time of a callous public that failed to turn out at a gun show to meet him and get his autograph. Don't people understand that if George Zimmerman isn't constantly...

Florida Woman In ‘Stand Your Ground’ Retrial Faces Late-Term Abortion Of Justice, Also 60 Years

Straight from our "You have GOT to be fucking kidding me" desk: Marissa Alexander, the Florida woman sentenced to 20 years in prison for firing three warning shots into the wall of her home while escaping from her (allegedly)...