It snowed again, and it snowed a lot. And this time, not only did everyone have plenty of toilet paper and cookies, but everyone also got mad at Mayor Fenty for not cleaning up the streets. Well, except for folks who work for the federal government, that is, because work was canceled for the fourth day in a row. Huzzah! The city is now back to normal (?), but will be rendered helpless once again by a new snow storm coming on Monday. Can’t. Wait. MORE »

Saturday, February 6 through Sunday February 7: Fact: DC has a festival of short films, and the winners from said festival will be screened tonight and tomorrow night as part of the “Best of the Fest” — that is, assuming the snow doesn’t render living impossible this weekend. (Actually, the festival will go on as long as Metro is “open.”) [Best of the Fest] MORE »

Tuesday, February 2: Last week we learned that corporations are more like people than actual people are, and on Tuesday the Cato Institute will tell us why the decision is a victory for those of us who secretly wish that we, too, had a fat-cat CEO and a stock listing. And on Thursday, February 4, Heritage weighs in and actually debates the legitimacy of the decision. (Who knows!) [Cato Institute, Heritage Foundation] MORE »

Saturday, January 30 through Sunday, February 21: There’s having friends who are more successful than you, and then there’s channeling your angst into an excellent play that in the end makes you better than everyone else, especially when you include includes elements of bestiality in it. Such is the story of The Four of Us, showing at Theater J. [Theater J] MORE »

Tuesday, January 26: Recent activities in Yemen have not convinced the New America Foundation that Yemen is a legitimate terrorist threat — only that it is on the “brink” of becoming one. Sure, they may be in cahoots with Al Qaeda and may desire to nuke every American city with a population over 50,000, but who doesn’t these days? [New America Foundation] MORE »

Tonight through Sunday February 14: There was a time in our nation when politicians actually argued for things they believed in and didn’t just whine until their balls fell off. Sad little liberals will find joy in Ford’s Theatre’s The Rivalry, which re-creates portions of the debates between Abraham Lincoln and Stephen Douglas that focused on state’s rights and slavery for the 1858 Senate election. [Ford's Theatre] MORE »

The recent exploits of beloved nerdbot Peter Orszag would have one thinking that DC is the place to get laid. If a four-eyed, balding asexual can find incredibly hot women to fuck him all the time, well then …. But because love in the District seems to be confined to rendezvous with prostitutes, small children and porn stars at the Mayflower Hotel and the C Street House, the City has created the Department of Love and Relationships and they brought in a GERMAN — Dr. Ruth — to help “stimulate” the city’s romance-tourism business. Be warned that a 5% sperm tax applies. MORE »

Tuesday, January 19: The Cato Institute wants to buy all your bone marrow. It’s a renewable resource, after all, and in America we care about such things, and the market should just regulate your cells anyway. The time to liberate bone marrow is now. [Cato Institute] MORE »

Saturday, January 16: The really good old movie To Kill a Mockingbird, which won some Oscars and other fun awards for how well it talks about race, rape and other touching subjects, will be screened Saturday at noon at the National Archives as part of their “Civil Rights History” film and discussion series. MORE »

Famous hero Martin Luther King Jr. did great things for America and, because we have a soft spot for black saviors (especially the ones who make racism disappear forever), we make their birthdays holidays (read: days off from work). Hooray! It’s a great day to plant a tree, paint a building, hug a black person, give to Haiti, praise Jesus, and work on your Negro dialect. MORE »

Wednesday, January 13: Bush administration Torture Czar John Yoo, who spends his days perfecting his water-boarding skills, will explain why he had EVERY RIGHT to add torture and other fabulous features to the American government at an event Wednesday at AEI. [AEI] MORE »

Tonight through Sunday, February 21: Sexual impotence, divorce, child support and who needs fingers anyway? Such is the plot of the film A Man Who Ate His Cherries, which is being screened tonight as part of the Iranian Film Festival. [Freer and Sackler Galleries] MORE »

Journopalooza is an event happening this Friday in here in DC where journalists will get together and sing to raise money for THEMSELVES, which isn’t nearly as good as, say, raising money for starving kids in Africa, but whatever, because supporting journalists is fun! As the fine art that is journalism dies and dies and dies, it’s important that we support journalists’ attempts to save their profession — attempts that now include moonlighting as musicians and singing rock operas about imprisoned super lobbyist/conman Jack Abramoff, for charity, of course. (Remember that scandal, and how it was like five years ago?) MORE »