Tag: stabbing

Bodyguard For ‘Alt-Right’ Moron Stabbed In Brawl By ‘Armenian Gangsters’ Who Hate White Dudes. Sure.

'Armenian gangsters' is probably not the next big hit from David Simon.

British Member Of Parliament Jo Cox Murdered; American Gun Nuts Have A Good Larf

Jo Cox, a member of Parliament, has been murdered. Americans who love their guns are excited by the chance to point out that British gun control laws can't stop every murder, so obviously laws are worthless.
Gordon KlingenWingen Schmitzennutt

CO Rep. Klingenschmitt Booted By Fellow Republicans For Being A Jerk

In yet another example of the persecution of Bible-believing Christians in America, wingnut Internet preacher and actual member of the Colorado House of Representatives Gordon Klingenschmitt has been stripped of his membership on a House committee because even his...

Pregnant Stabbing Victim Invites CO Rep. Klingenschmitt To Shove Donation Up His Jesus Hole

You might remember the horrific story about Michelle Wilkins, the pregnant woman in Longmont, Colorado, who was attacked by a deranged woman with a knife, who stabbed her, removed her 7-month-old fetus in an amateur C-section, and then was...

Protip For Rainbow Family Gathering: Don’t Trust Anyone Named ‘Hitler,’ Even If She Is A Hippie

There was some serious harshing of the mellow at this year's Rainbow Family Gathering near Heber City, Utah, when a hippie lady who calls herself "Hitler" stabbed another hippie person, nonfatally, thank goodness. Leilani Novak-Garcia, who prefers the name...

Derp Roundup: Your Weekly Bushel Basket Of Bumpkins, Boobs, and ‘Baggers

Welcome, wonkeesters, to another edition of Derp Roundup, the weekly feature where we hose down the news, filter out the stories that weren't quite worth a whole post but too stoopid to ignore altogether, spray the whole mess with...

Signs And Wonders: The Dudepocalypse Is At Hand

These two stories from yesterday have us convinced that the arc of the moral universe bends toward Lebowski: 1) An Arizona law banning ferrets from being brought into restaurants has gone into effect. The measure stems from efforts to...

Oregon Man Protesting To Save God’s Precious Rape-Babies Stabs Other Man Seven Times

Well this does not seem so loving and joyful and Christ-like, but hey, what do we know. An Oregon man who is not Missouri Senate candidate Todd Akin, or Indiana Senate candidate Richard Mourdock, and who's been protesting...

Clinton Supporter Stabs Obama Supporter