WASHINGTON, DC, 12:25 AM, TUE NOVEMBER 10 | Advertise on Wonkette | tips@wonkette.com | SUBMIT A TIP | RSS

Posts Tagged ‘st. paul’

SITCOM OF A VICE PRESIDENTIAL CANDIDATE

HA, Levi Johnston’s Coming To St. Paul!

Tuesday, September 2nd, 2008

John McCain has no idea what kinds of hell he’s unleashed: “WASILLA, Alaska (AP) — Bristol Palin’s boyfriend plans to join the family of the Republican vice presidential candidate at the GOP convention. Levi Johnston’s mother said her 18-year-old son left Alaska on Tuesday morning to join the Palin family in St. Paul, Minn.” Levi Johnston must be loving this. He is, after all, the guy who wrote “Ya fuck with me I’ll kick [your] ass” on his MySpace page. He’s just gonna be cold fuckin’ bitches and pounding fuckin’ beers on the stage with John fuckin’ McCain, fuckin’ beatin’ up delegates and shit. [AP]


OBVIOUS JOKES

A Children’s Treasury Of Republican M4M Ads In Minneapolis St. Paul

Tuesday, September 2nd, 2008

Looking for discreet bathroom funThe Republican National Convention has brought truckloads of new visitors to the Twin Cities — and with every event getting canceled in honor of the poor black people who didn’t get killed in the hurricane yesterday, veritable dozens of GOP males were left in their swank hotel rooms with nothing to do. Let’s find out what happens when a bunch of closeted, discreet hairless dudes go looking for good clean fun on Craigslist … MORE »


THE SADDEST THING

Laura Bush Talks A Bit, And Cindy McCain Says Hi, The End

Monday, September 1st, 2008

OH SHIT IT'S A GIANT RICK PERRY!Live from the Xcel Energy Center! Uh, Laura Bush! She spoke, softly, and a giant video Rick Perry appeared, telling the very sparse crowd that he was going to save the poor people who maybe got flooded. He was standing by an airplane! MORE »


PARTY CRASH

UTNE Reader Threw An RNC Party!

Monday, September 1st, 2008

Scratch that ass!
The beloved UTNE Reader rented out an entire brewery last night, and your Wonkette joined many other media dorks for fun and hijinx. Here’s UTNE web boss Bennett Gordon, a bunch of people, some guy with his hand down his pants, and a blurry character who writes for Wonkette. More pix after the jump. MORE »


A CITY IN IMAGES

St. Paul, The Night Before The Jackass Convention

Monday, September 1st, 2008

Last night, your Wonkette editors visited the city of St. Paul, in Minnesota. What a glorious City Of Lights! Ha ha, not really, it was empty except for cops and military people protecting John McCain Arena. We thought this was offensive — why are the cops and military people still here when there’s a hurricane in New Orleans? Racists. Let’s check out a few more pictures from this famous twin Minnesota city that locals know as “The Boring One.” MORE »


DISASTERS

Monday, September 1st, 2008

Here comes the story of the hurricane ...OUR NATION’S WEATHER LADIES: Cindy McCain and Laura Bush will actually (maybe) speak today — beginning at 4:50 p.m., Central time — at the Republican convention! They will talk about, uh, Gustav. The hurricane. They will talk about a hurricane. This is the new GOP platform: Talking about a hurricane. [McClatchy]


LAMERS

Paultards Attack St. Paul!

Monday, September 1st, 2008

Uhhh
Your Wonkette was just having some drinks at various patio restaurants in downtown Minneapolis yesterday when strange dorks began walking around, in bizarre costumes. Here we have, uh, “Ninja Hitler,” maybe? And he’s pulling a gimp in a wagon made of … household garbage? Like many other disheveled stringy-haired losers seen around town on Sunday, the gimp was wearing a green scary-face mask, possibly from the Scream movies? But they weren’t all so elaborately costumed. MORE »


EVERYBODY HATES REPUBLICANS

Sunday, August 31st, 2008

REACHING AROUND THE AISLE: Sarah P’s “husband and oldest son are independents,” and the rest have yet to vote in an election. [Politico]


RNC ST. PAUL

Sunday, August 31st, 2008
  • ST. PAUL SORROW: Cheney ain’t coming. Bush Junior ain’t coming. Monday is pretty much canceled. Wonkette is here, awaiting the RNC press conference. What will happen? McCain is on the radio, jabbering nonsense, from St. Louis. THAT’S THE WRONG ST. CITY, WALNUTS!

RNC ST. PAUL

Hurricane Will Ruin Entire GOP Convention

Sunday, August 31st, 2008

Not this shit again ....Greetings from Austin, Minnesota — the home of Hormel’s famous SPAM food product, which Hawaiians such as Barack Obama eat a dozen times a day, with caviar. We are very close to St. Paul and our fancy suites, and will be there Sunday morning in time for so many cocktail parties. The question is this: Will anybody from the Republican Party show up? MORE »


WTF JACK REED?

Oh, Right, Wonkette’s Going To Both Conventions

Friday, August 22nd, 2008

Everywhere I hear the sound of marching charging feet, boy ...Because we are kind of busy, and WTF Jack Reed?, here is your editor’s basic report on what we’re doing, in Denver and Saint Paul and everywhere between, even though your editor just got diagnosed with the Strep Throat. MORE »