Wonkette

Wonkette Fly-Over Correspondent Stephen Martin is at the scene of tonight’s Palin-Biden debate in St. Louis, trying to find out why Dr. Dean is such a dick: “Just ran into Howard Dean in the campus bookstore at Wash U. I got to know the man relatively well four years ago, had dinner with him, the typical Iowa thing with candidates. Well, I figured I’d go say hi to him. Totally blew me off. It’s not like there was a gaggle or anything. He was getting his picture taken with a couple of campus cuties. I was the only “reporter” in the whole place. But his people saw my red ‘media’ tag, and completely ignored me. I was disappointed. MORE »

Yesterday, Barack Obama almost died in a fiery plane crash above lovely St. Louis, and you know what, it’s his own fault. Thought experiment: imagine you are a Jew. If, as a Jew, you are borrowing a car, you wouldn’t borrow it from Adolf Hitler, right? It would probably have a bomb set to the ignition (Hitler famously disliked the Jews). With that in mind: “This was not Obama’s regular campaign plane, which is being overhauled. It was a loaner, having previously been used by Sen. Hillary Clinton, D-NY.” When will dumb old Barack Obama realize that Hillary Clinton is actively trying to kill him? [ABC News]

He’s got most of the money remaining in the U.S. economy, and yet. Barack Obama’s plane, a rickety old hackjob called an “MD-80 Midwest charter,” was going to crash into a World Trade Center today en route from Chicago to Charlotte — it was just that broken! Alas, his terrible pilots were forced to make an emergency landing in Missouri. Hey, Missouri… that’s one of those whatchamacallits… border states… slave states… oh that’s right, it’s a swing state. What a fortuitous terrorist crash landing! MORE »

BECAUSE IT’S WORKED IN THE PAST: A St. Louis-area councilman has a plan to tone down the rowdiness on Main Street of his little town; he wants to ban swearing and “profane music,” along with table dancing and drinking contests, in all the bars. We suggest he also form a temperance league and maybe crack down on laughter as well. [AP]

America is addicted to pornography: Terror Pornography. From Kiefer’s endless torture of the nuclear-armed Islamo-Nazis to NEVER FORGET billboards, illiterate snuff essays by unknown bloggers to, uhm, the Washingtonian, nothing thrills like the fantasy of Muslims blowing up some unloved yet well-known U.S. city architecture.

Join us after the jump for the terror fantasy that could make WALNUTS! our best-ever pretend maverick president for life, after the jump.

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