Tonight we've got BREAKING news that St. Barack of Obama "fell off the wagon a few times" since he quit the cigarettes a year ago. This means he still has some "regular human" genes and that Hillary is sure to announce that she has started smoking weed again, at 3 a.m.
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Guess who took a big hit in the polls thanks to that crazy "slavery is wrong" reverend guy who Barack Obama used to love so much? That's right, Hillary Clinton.
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Those who have seen him in action have probably noticed something weird about America's favorite Democratic presidential candidate with a decent jump shot. Obama's always so ... hopeful. Is it all the coke and the weed? Or is he consuming more prescription meds than Cindy McCain on a six-day bender at the Naval infirmary?
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St. Barack of Obama spoke to trashy supermarket tabloid US Weekly! They asked him a bunch of dumb questions — the stuff of interest to, we imagine, US Weekly readers — and he sort of held his nose and half-answered them. But what kind of underwear does our handsomest president prefer?
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