• THE ONLY PHOTO OF ALAN KEYES PUSHING A SPONGEBOB SQUAREPANTS STROLLER FULL OF ABORTED CABBAGE PATCH DOLLS YOU’LL NEED TO SEE TODAY: Oh look, nutbar is back at Notre Dame. [New York Times]

The drink-soaked popinjay’s latest column for The Observer is so glum that we nearly slit our wrists, and we still can’t figure out what he’s going on about. But he is depressed, and bored, and powerless to control the forces of American idiocy that surround him. Some highlights, or low lights: MORE »